So my friend got married....

suz62984

So a friend of mine got married recently and I had to share. They had 13 GM and 13 BM!!! Not honorary BM/GM either. Full on GMs and BMs. That's 26 WP members plus any dates they have. That's a  big ole' head table. I'm normally not one to judge how many people are in your WP but I judge her.

What do you judge about weddings???

lalap69

I'm kind of lol-ing at your clarifying that they're not "honourary", considering how often that classification becomes an issue on this board, Suz.

Why do you judge DJs, Stina?

I judge cash bars.  I also judge blushers for second-time brides, but then I hate blushers, so.

marissa_claire

I'm thinking in my head about how much money that would cost to get them decent presents - $50 x 26  = $1k

And yes, I gave the advice on another board that after a certain point it doesn't seem like an honor...

suz62984

haha - this girl isn't one to care about the $$ part Marissa...must be nice.


Stina - I'm glad I had a band then

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:92100ee0-dadd-4937-84b8-99e38d594c09">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So my friend got married.... : See I sound snotty, but I am SUPER about music. I grew up playing 6 instruments and value music a ton. DH also plays the drums and used to play the oboe. I think that DJs are cheesy (yes ALL DJs). <strong>They mess up names</strong>, they play crap music, etc. I've never been to a wedding where I enjoyed the DJ. I only like bands. I know that DJs can cost a pretty penny, but I find it cheap. Yeah, now I really look like a biitch.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]
That's what my sister's band did at her wedding. :P

stina93446

They did that at a wedding where I was the MOH. They messed up the bride's name twice. I was thinking "DUDE, she's the one paying you! The least you can do is say her name right." And it wasn't like her name was something hard....her name was Katie! How do you screw that up?

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:b0a08387-d025-45bc-aeeb-eb475f7759a7">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]haha - this girl isn't one to care about the $$ part Marissa...must be nice. <strong>Stina - I'm glad I had a band then ;)</strong>
Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I don't judge you then. You're ok with me.  lol</div>

lalap69

Yeah, as they were announcing the groom's cousins, the band leader kept butchering their last name and I was like "OMG, they're going to be announced as Mr. and Mrs. Butchered Last Name!"  And then they were!  I felt so bad for sister and BIL.  We were teasing them for the rest of the night.

Beachy730

Stina- thats funny you feel that way about DJs, I understand with your background though.  I much prefer a DJ to a band because I think its better dance music for a younger crowd, but that just me.  My friend got married a few months ago and had a band that was really good, but were horrible as emcees.  You couldn't hear them at all, and they didn't know how to transition the guests to the cake cutting or dance floor or anything.  I think part of it was the bad setup of the reception site though too.

I judge cash bars.  And contrary to etquette, I judge when there isn't a gap between ceremony and reception.  I like that time to change and relax, I don't want to feel rushed. 

lalap69

dnbeach, are you me?  Agree on all accounts.

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:163b89bc-d5cb-4923-9754-60a263dcabf7">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]Stina- thats funny you feel that way about DJs, I understand with your background though.  I much prefer a DJ to a band because I think its better dance music for a younger crowd, but that just me.  My friend got married a few months ago and had a band that was really good, but were horrible as emcees.  You couldn't hear them at all, and they didn't know how to transition the guests to the cake cutting or dance floor or anything.  I think part of it was the bad setup of the reception site though too. <strong>I judge cash bars. </strong> And contrary to etquette, I judge when there isn't a gap between ceremony and reception.  I like that time to change and relax, I don't want to feel rushed. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>This too. I think Suz or Lala wrote this, but my dad wanted us to do this to save money. I was like "dad, if you want to save money, you don't have to come, but I'm not treating my guests list that." Some of them came from Norway. I wasn't going to make them pay for their drinks!?</div>

Beachy730

I see your from Toronto, I'm originally from Niagara Falls, NY, so maybe theres some regional ties there too!

At this same friends wedding, there was only 1 hour time period from when her ceremony ended and her cocktail hour started.  We had to go check into the hotel and change and of course had a drink or 2 while getting ready.  We seriously got there at the very end of cocktail hour, and that was with us rushing.

lalap69

Ah, nice.   Yeah, I like having a bit of time between the ceremony and reception to change.  I'm usually not comfortable wearing evening clothes to church.  My only issue is when the break is TOO long because then I want to nap and htat would wrec kmy hair, lol!

lalap69

Oh man, I typed too fast.  Seeing all the typos where you quoted me is making me cringe, haha.

2 hours is good.  We're compromising for our wedding.  We're having a small gap before the official start of the cocktail hour, but the gardens at our venue will be open to our guests if they want to go over early and have a drink (on us!)

Beachy730

Yeah thats what this friend did too.  So technically you could have had no gap if you wanted, but the official cocktail hour started an hour after the ceremony ended.

frogurt814

I judge cash bars.  A lot.  Around here, there is almost never a cash bar.  Just keg beer.  That's it.  And it's always Bud Light/Miller Lite/something along those lines.  I can drink it, but I don't really care for it too much.  It would at least be nice to have a couple of wines to choose from too (that I don't have to pay for.)  Really, buying some wine for your guests does not cost that much in the scheme of things. grrr.

Stina, I've never been to a wedding with a band.  Maybe I would judge DJs if I'd ever been to a wedding with a band.

Soon2BeMrsTing

I actually don't love the idea of a DJ, either.  Yes, DH and I had an ipod wedding (actually, a laptop wedding), and some talented friends played DJ.  But you know what?  We paid $110 to rent the speakers and mic, and put a TON of time into stremlining the various playlists for cokctail hour and all the the dance music.  People were on the dance floor all night and it turned out great!

banana468

I've started to "deal" with cash bars but I don't like them.  One cash bar charged me for a Diet Coke.  DH was a GM and I had no money on me - I was SUPER judgy particularly when I found out that his coke with RUM in it was free.  Love the friends but really didn't like that.

I really liked our DJ.  I don't like most but he played live sax during cocktail hour and dinner and then all the music that we loved for dancing.  I really can't say anything bad about him.    So sorry Stina - I hope you would have had a good time at my wedding but if you would have hated the DJ, at least you could have drowned your sorrows in all the free booze.

stina93446

haha, it's ok if you had a DJ everyone. If your wedding sucked, I'd attack that in my head. If it was already a fun wedding, I probably wouldn't care.

And mysticl, that band was not a good band if they only played one type of music. I think bands should be able to play anything. 

AdeleDazeem

Can I ask - why are people changing between the ceremony and the reception?  It's a package deal.  What are you taking off and putting on?  :

I judge decorations, which is an odd choice.  I'm always checking out how people arranged their flowers for the ceremony or how the reception room/centerpieces are laid out.  The decoration choices some peope make are ... interesting. I also hate tulle with a fling flying passion so perhaps I'm slightly biased. 

I also judge gaps when I don't know it's coming.  I seriously hate that.  I'm ready to go - sorry you aren't - please tell me where the food is.

lalap69

I'm not going to answer for dnbeach, but I generally feel that the attire that I wear to a wedding reception is inappropriate for church.  I like to dress more modestly for the ceremony.  Judge away. The church outfit is usually along the lines of a skirt and blouse - so yeah, I'm totally showing off my "multiple fancy outfits".

I'm with you on the tulle-hate, Joy.

Beachy730

I change when its a church wedding and nighttime reception, which has been every wedding I've been to except one.  Generally for an evening reception I'll wear a cocktail dress of some type, which is usually strapless or something that i wouldn't wear to church.  I'll usually wear dress pants to the church, and then change into my dress for the reception.  The one wedding I went to where they were in the same location I wore one outfit for the night, but it wasn't in a church.  So its not really showing off 2 outfits, its more to dress appropriately for each venue.  Looking back at our pictures I think the only people women who didn't change in between were the ones in the wedding. 

I know the gap is highly frowned upon my most areas, and I can completely understand how people find it rude.  Its always been made very clear on invites by giving ceremony start time and reception start time.   Our ceremony was at 3, and our reception card clearly stated that cocktail hour started at 6.  We ended  up walking out of the church around 4:15 after starting a little late and being a Catholic ceremony. 

mysticl

See I go with the theory of dress appropriately for the entire event.  Depending on the church strapless isn't inappropriate (esp. if the bride and bridesmaids are strapless), but there is always the jacket or sweater to go on over it.  I do judge women who wear pants to a wedding.  I wear maybe one dress or skirt a year but that is one place I believe women should wear them.  And I judge anyone wearing jeans (and I love jeans), I get that not everyone has a need for lots of fancy clothes or suits (or can afford them) but a woman can pick up at least one dress for a reasonable price and a guy can get a pair of slacks and a button down at Penneys or Target.

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:121ea2a2-a7b9-4921-9b57-511fe912ec85">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]See I go with the theory of dress appropriately for the entire event.  Depending on the church strapless isn't inappropriate (esp. if the bride and bridesmaids are strapless), but there is always the jacket or sweater to go on over it.  <strong>I do judge women who wear pants to a wedding</strong>.  I wear maybe one dress or skirt a year but that is one place I believe women should wear them.  And I judge anyone wearing jeans (and I love jeans), I get that not everyone has a need for lots of fancy clothes or suits (or can afford them) but a woman can pick up at least one dress for a reasonable price and a guy can get a pair of slacks and a button down at Penneys or Target.
Posted by mysticl[/QUOTE]
What is this?  1810?  I judge you for being sexist. It's the level of formality that matters, not the gender of the person wearing it.  If it's acceptable for men to wear suits to a wedding, why can't a woman?

Beachy730

I will dress appropriately for the entire event if there is no gap and I need to.  I know some people will never understand having or liking a gap, and also some people will probably never understand wearing 2 different outfits.  But its just the norm where I'm from so nobody thinks anything of it. 
I also don't agree with jeans at a wedding, but its not the worst thing that could ever happen at a wedding.  My dads friend wore jeans and my parents fully knew he would because he is a grizzly mountain man by definition and doesn't own anything but jeans. 
Also, I laugh because my dad had to wear jeans to a wedding a month after mine.  He broke his foot and was in a huge cast and walking boot.  We tried all of his dress pants and made him try on many pairs at stores and nothing would fit over the boot except his one pair of wide jeans.  So I cleared it with my friend getting married, and we made him wear a jacket and tie with it, but yes he wore jeans to a wedding. 

AdeleDazeem

I can sorta see why you would wear one thing to a church and one thing to a reception (sortaaaa), but typically if I'm wearing a strapless dress, I bring a sweater to wear during the ceremony.  But, I'm just always cold so I bring one all the time.

I guess I view the entire thing as one event and dress accordingly.  But gaps aren't common here so I've never really thought about it.  It's enough for me to find one outfit and get dressed up once.  Doing it twice in one day?  Yikes.

:-)

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_friend-got-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:cfe05897-8e65-4a30-ac49-2421c1e75c6fPost:5da7bf8c-4d00-4213-a2ff-2823ac99ff9c">Re: So my friend got married....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So my friend got married.... : What is this?  1810?  I judge you for being sexist. It's the level of formality that matters, not the gender of the person wearing it.  If it's acceptable for men to wear suits to a wedding, why can't a woman?
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

I missed that part of the post.  I have worn a dress suit to a wedding before and thought nothing of it.  And I know there were quite a few women at my wedding in pants.  My mom is notorious for wearing dress pants to weddings with flashy tops because she is just much more comfortable in pants. 

banana468

Seriously mystcl?  You'd judge a woman for wearing PANTS?

There's a difference between a woman wearing cotton khakis and a woman wearing very dressy pants.

You really can't say that pants = not dressy for a woman anymore than you can say that a skirt or dress means that she's dressed appropriately. 

Beachy730

So do you find a jean skirt more appropriate than a pair of dress pants?

lalap69

Mysticl -





Pick one.

aerinpegadrak

I've worn slacks to several recent weddings, usually because either 1) I was coming straight from work, where a skirt is severely impractical, or 2) I was going to be working to some degree for the wedding, and pants are just easier to move in.  I do enjoy wearing skirts, and wish I could wear them more often, but it's simply not realistic most of the time.  Judge away, I don't care.

I also don't really understand changing between, but I'm not really a fashion person, I guess.  Again, I think it comes down to practicality; bringing extra clothes with me, or going back home to change, just seems a waste of time and energy to no real purpose.  I'd much rather find one outfit that works for the entire day.  I see a ceremony and reception the same way as I'd see, say, going to dinner with my grandparents and meeting my friends at a club afterward: I'd put together something that was appropriate for both, even if it might not be what I'd wear to just one or the other.