What do the Bridesmaids pay for?

[Deleted User]

Hi! I have two questions:

1) I am trying to decide who I would like in my wedding party.  I never realized how many people actually try to invite themselves into the wedding party, and/or try to force me to take on someone else (i.e a groom's cousin that I barely know?).  How do I deal with these people? Is there something I can say that won't hurt thier feelings, or make them shut up about forcing others on me?

2) What exactly do bridesmaids pay for?  I know they pay for thier dress, but what about thier shoes?  I plan on paying for thier hair, but if I get my makeup professionally done, do I have to pay for thiers too if they want it?  It wouldn't be the end of the world, just curious!  Maybe I should also mention that I will also be paying for my mom to have her hair and makeup done too.

Thanks!

Summer2011Bride

1) Ask who you want to ask. If someone else inquires about being in the WP (which is rude), if it's still far away from your wedding you can pull the "I haven't thought a whole lot about it yet" card and hope they drop it. If not, I would just say, "I would love to see you there as a guest!" If they want to get their feelings hurt, that isn't your fault. You never asked them to insert themselves in your WP.

2) BMs typically pay for their dresses. For shoes, honestly I would let them wear the shoes they want, which means they would pay for them. If you want a specific shoe, I'd pay for it, but remember, it's hard to find one shoe that fits everyone equally comfortably and you don't want sore feet all night. If you require them to get hair/make-up done professionally, you pay. If it's just optional, they can pay for themselves.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-do-the-bridesmaids-pay-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d7b645d2-8bc7-4e3b-a035-54a41a4c020ePost:551571d5-8ee2-4625-bfb9-4fb7466bc5f2">What do the Bridesmaids pay for?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi! I have two questions: 1) I am trying to decide who I would like in my wedding party.  I never realized how many people actually try to invite themselves into the wedding party, and/or try to force me to take on someone else (i.e a groom's cousin that I barely know?).  How do I deal with these people? Is there something I can say that won't hurt thier feelings, or make them shut up about forcing others on me? 2) What exactly do bridesmaids pay for?  I know they pay for thier dress, but what about thier shoes?  I plan on paying for thier hair, but if I get my makeup professionally done, do I have to pay for thiers too if they want it?  It wouldn't be the end of the world, just curious!  Maybe I should also mention that I will also be paying for my mom to have her hair and makeup done too. Thanks!
Posted by mmcelyea1[/QUOTE]
1) Ask the people who are closest to you.  If anyone else brings it up, say that the wedding party has been chosen, and change the subject.  It's best to avoid bringing up the wedding around people who would like to be in it but aren't.  Also, if there are friends and family of your FI that you don't want but he does, they can stand on his side.<div>
</div><div>2) The bridesmaids pay for their dresses (within their budgets, which should be discussed individually beforehand).  If you're requesting specific shoes, you should pay.  If you're requesting something they might reasonably have in their closets (any black strappy, for instance), it's fine to expect them to provide the shoes.  If you're not requiring pro makeup, you can poll them to see who would be interested and how much they'd be willing/able to spend on it.  If you want to pay for those that opt in, that's generous but not necessary.  FWIW, I've never had pro makeup as a bridesmaid, even for a black tie wedding.</div>

UberBiz

When I was MOH for my best friend, we paid for dresses, shoes, and hair. We did our own makeup at her house before the ceremony so we cut costs on that We had the shoes dyed to match the dresses and we picked a style we could all wear.

swingin_on_stars

1.) To be honest, when it comes to who you're having in the wedding party, there will be hurt feelings no matter what. I would just decide who is most important to you. You has always been there? Who always will be there? Who supports you? Just choose the people you want standing beside you on the most important day of your life. There will be hurt feelings in the beginning, but people will get over it and, hopefully, understand.

2.)

Q. Do my attendants have to pay for their own bridesmaids dresses?

A. Bridesmaids are generally expected to pay for their own wedding-day ensemble (shoes and jewelry included). Talk to your bridesmaids individually about any financial concerns, and tactfully work out a solution that suits both of you -- maybe you will pay for half or all of the cost, or you can set up a payment plan. Above all, try to choose a dress that's reasonably priced, or consider letting your maids choose their own gown. Give some color/style requirements (i.e., black and ankle length), and ask them to show you the dress for final approval (just in case it's a little too risque for grandma's taste).

Read more: Bridesmaids: Etiquette Q&As for the Bride - wedding planning - bridal party http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/articles/bridesmaids-etiquettes-for-the-bride.aspx#ixzz1zR7UdAlY

Stinalove44

bridesmaids pay for dress, shoes, jewlery. you pay for hair. and they do their own makeup

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-do-the-bridesmaids-pay-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d7b645d2-8bc7-4e3b-a035-54a41a4c020ePost:6fa96b9d-a5a2-4a66-9069-4e79bb2d39e2">Re: What do the Bridesmaids pay for?</a>:
[QUOTE]bridesmaids pay for dress, shoes, jewlery. you pay for hair. and they do their own makeup
Posted by Stinalove44[/QUOTE]

No.  Bridesmaids pay for their dress.  If the bride is requiring specific shoes (or a shoe color not likely to be found in closets already), she pays.  If the bride is requiring specific jewelry, then she pays for that also.  If the bride is requiring hair and makeup to be professionally done, then she needs to keep her wallet open again.  If she makes it optional, then the BMs pay.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-do-the-bridesmaids-pay-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d7b645d2-8bc7-4e3b-a035-54a41a4c020ePost:ae558c8b-645e-42e7-9ccc-be99a4163ab4">Re: What do the Bridesmaids pay for?</a>:
[QUOTE]A. Bridesmaids are generally expected to pay for their own wedding-day ensemble (shoes and jewelry included). Talk to your bridesmaids individually about any financial concerns, and tactfully work out a solution that suits both of you -- maybe you will pay for half or all of the cost, or you can set up a payment plan. Above all, try to choose a dress that's reasonably priced, or consider letting your maids choose their own gown. Give some color/style requirements (i.e., black and ankle length), and ask them to show you the dress for final approval (just in case it's a little too risque for grandma's taste). Read more: Bridesmaids: Etiquette Q&As for the Bride - wedding planning - bridal party <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/articles/bridesmaids-etiquettes-for-the-bride.aspx#ixzz1zR7UdAlY">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/articles/bridesmaids-etiquettes-for-the-bride.aspx#ixzz1zR7UdAlY</a>
Posted by swingin_on_stars@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

The bride does not set the budget for the dress.  She needs to PRIVATELY talk to each BM individually and ask for a budget.  The one with the lowest budget sets the ceiling for the price of the dress unless the bride is going to QUIETLY kick in money to those on the lower end of the budget scale.

Something to remember about wedding websites and the wedding industry in general, is that it has a motive for making people spend as much money as they think they can get a away with and doesn't really give a flying whatever if you have friends and family speaking to you after the wedding.  The only thing anybody is required to purchase for a wedding is the marriage license.  Everything else (and i do mean absolutely everything else) is optional.

Vrichie

For our wedding party the bridesmaids paid for their dresses (which they picked from one specific color and fabric).

I told them they could do whatever they want for shoes, jewelry, hair, and make up.  Some of the maids are doing their own hair and make up and some are having it professionally done.