Wedding Party

Help! When should I ask bridesmaids to be bridesmaids?

My fiance' and I just got engaged and the wedding is 17 months away. However I'm almost 6 months pregnant and am trying to get all of the planning done in the 4 months I have before I give birth to our baby. I don't want to have to plan a wedding, finish college and take care of a newborn all at the same time. I know who I want to be my bridesmaids but should I go ahead and ask them to be in it so that I can continue to plan and know that I am planning for the right amount or should I wait until closer to the wedding and then adjust my plans?

Re: Help! When should I ask bridesmaids to be bridesmaids?

  • Although you are being really smart to get stuff done while you can, my advice is to wait on the BMs. There is very little to plan regarding them and what does need to be planned cannot or should not be decided till later. I would wait till you are at least a year out to ask them. Relationships change, grow, and fade in that time-- there have been so many stories about women changing their minds or getting in fights and wanting to kick BMs out.

    It can't hurt to wait, be 100% sure, and then ask. Dresses shouldn't be ordered too far in advance due to reasons like weight change, pregnancies, and it isn't fair to have them pay for something just to have it sit in the closet for a year. I would wait till you are a year out, ask, and then get dresses at the 6-9 mo mark. Focus on the rest of your planning now, get your cake, venue, caterer, etc figured out and then this will be one of the only things left. And chances are you will enjoy some girl time after being busy with baby =)
  • Thanks! I wasn't sure if I should wait or not and kept going back and forth with the idea.
  • Go ahead and line up your venue and vendors early, but hold off on the bridesmaids.  The only thing you have to organize there is finding out their budget for a dress, and choosing one.  This can be as complex or as simple as you make it.  In the mean time, for budget purposes (bouquets/bouts, gifts, rehersal dinner, etc) make a tentative list with your FI.  Ditto the guest list.  Send the save the dates, and the wedding party invites, at about 6-9 months out.
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