Yeah, yeah, if I didn't want her in the WP I shouldn't have asked her in the first place.
I've posted about her twice in the past 4 months or so. Summary of the first post: I impulsively and instinctively asked my BF of 3+ years/current roommate to be a BM and she accepted. She proceeded to tell me how to run my wedding, trying to change my wedding into her wedding. I asked her to let me know if I needed to start looking for a new place to live (we share a house and I wanted to stay but didn't say so).
Result: Stopped talking to her entirely about wedding details, continued to plan (nearly) happily (though wished I could be giggly about stuff with her), kept my mouth shut about the house. She later told me she wanted to move in with another friend and live in the same complex as her boyfriend. (she brought it up, not me)
Summary of second post: BF/BM absolutely hated every BM dress I would show her, never wanted to talk about it, wouldn't give me ideas of what she would prefer to wear. (Thanks for the great advice on that one, too, ladies). I was SUPER stressed out.
Result: I could tell she was unhappy (she's been under a lot of pressure lately with trying to get into nursing school, stressed with figuring out what's going on with her future w/ bf). I was a little hurt because she bought a $1000 flat screen TV and then said she didn't have money for a BM dress (hurt? yes. angry? no. She's allowed to spend her money the way she wants). I started getting the feeling she was going along with the whole BM thing because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I gave her an easy out by emailing ALL of my BM/MOH with pictures of some dresses I've picked out, asking for their opinions and ideas, and ending with (paraphrased): I love you all dearly, you're my BFFs which is why I asked you in the first place. Our friendship will not change and I will totally understand if you aren't able to due to financial/school related/any other reasons.
None of the other BM/MOH knew or know of the situation, and it was honestly directed at them, too, because honestly I'm honestly afraid of asking too much and stepping on toes and putting people out. I'd have no WP before any of that.
To end, she emailed me back a few days later with: School is stressing me out, I don't know where bf and I will be in the next 3 months, let alone the next 7 months, and I'm financially strained. I'm going to have to decline for right now, because I'd rather do that than have to drop out right before the wedding.
Now, I'm not rejoicing because she dropped out, I'd LOVE to have her in my WP for real (we've been through some tough shtuff together and she's always been there for me), but I know she's much happier now without the dress looming overhead, and I'm not stressing about whether or not she really wants to do this thing.
Now I can breathe. I needed to get the story off my chest, cause no one really knows about it. Bring on the bashing, I know it's there. XD