Rules for Choosing a Bridesmaid??? HELP PLEASE!

mrs.mccomber

So here's my question:

I'm thinking of asking one last girl to add to my wedding party. So far, my MOH is my sister-in-law, and my other bridesmaid is my fiance's niece. I don't have very many close girlfriends (I'm a work-aholic!) and was thinking of asking a friend/former colleague. I've known her since the summer and see her occasionally but feel she's a good friend.

Would it be weird to ask someone I haven't known for that long and don't see all the time?

Thanks for your opinions!

banana468

If you're not that close then I'd reconsider asking.  Not having a lot of people standing up for you is fine.

But if you search the boards, they're filled with brides who have issues with the BM who they weren't all that close to and picking that person to be a BM didn't make them closer.

It's all about the relationship you have with her now.  If you're much closer with the other ladies, stick with them.

mbcdefg

Why would you want to ask someone you're not close to? I'm guessing that you want to pick one more person just so that you have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, right?

Your sides don't need to be even. The only "rule" you should consider when choosing attendants is that they should be your closest friends. If this means 2 girls while your FI has 3 guys, then that's fine. If you have a brother or a guy friend that you are close to, feel free to ask him to stand up with you.

Nobody will see it as, "Ew, Sally must have no friends" if you have fewer people than FI. Frankly, I find it MORE weird when couples have equal attendants, because not everyone has an equally paired-off amount of friends in real life. Your guests will not think twice about an uneven wedding party, and your photos will look just fine. So don't pick someone just for the heck of it ... ask them only if you consider them a true, close friend, and if you couldn't imagine getting married without them by your side.

If you have to "find" someone to fill a spot, then that's a sign that you're not that close to them, because it should be a quick, instant decision. Not something that you need to talk yourself into.

jeannigirl

mb nailed it again. I stand on what what she said.

mags0607

MB is wise.

To add to what she said, pick those that you absolutely could not get married without. If your friend whom you have only known for a short time fits into that category, then by all means, ask her. You can become closer to one person in two weeks than you could to another person in two years; It all depends on the dynamic of the friendship.
If she does not fit into that category, then don't include her.

mrs.mccomber

Thanks for sharing your ideas. I think you all hit it right on!