Without going into two much detail, I have seven very close
girlfriends, including my sister. My fiance also comes from a large family; he's the middle of eight children, with three sisters. Ideally, to include all
of my best friends plus his three sisters, I would have 10 girls/women standing up with me on the alter. I think this is too many (and not an option at all), however, so I have chosen 6 of them, leaving out his two older sisters and two of my friends. Having only my sister (MOH) and his sisters as attendants has been suggested to me, but this is also not an option.
I feel terrible leaving the other four out. His sisters have assured me they understand completely and are just fine with it. One of them even seems a bit relieved, since she's getting married six weeks before us and is the MOH in her best friends wedding the week after ours. I haven't told my two friends yet (don't know how!!), but I know they will be hurt.
All of that being said, I need them to be involved in the wedding somehow. My plan was to have at least two of them be "personal attendants" and the other two do readings during the ceremony. However, reading through past posts on here, "personal attendant" is not a very well-liked or accepted "position", ha! I think, though, that my idea of a personal attendant is not the same as the association on these boards. They would never, ever, ever be expected to be my "b*tch" on my wedding day. It would simply be a title. A reason for them to be listed in the program. An excuse for them to hang out with me for my entire wedding day and to join us on the bus between the ceremony and reception. A way for them to know they mean more to me than my other 40 (exaggeration) girlfriends sitting in the "audience" (for lack of a better word, haha) on our wedding day.
So, I'd like to hear your thoughts. I need outsiders' opinions. Any thoughts at all. No matter how harsh! Is it okay to have them be "personal attendants" if it's just simply a title and I make sure they know that from the minute I ask them? Is there something else I could have them do? Or should I just leave my two friends out entirely and deal with the hurt?
(I guess one thing that might be worth mentioning is that this is a small-town northern Minnesota wedding, casual yet still somewhat elegant, at least for where it's being held...the great majority of my family members are the stereotypical small town "hicks" (again for lack of a better term
) and the little tiny etiquette issues really aren't a huge
deal for me as most of our guests won't know the difference! haha!)