Wanting to do something nice for our Wedding Party!

FutureMrsCassel

So my fiance and I would like to host a dinner or something for our wedding party, kind of as a thank you for supporting us  and also as a meet-and-greet type thing, as well. Most of them are acquantainces, but we'd like to promote a 'one big family' feel with everyone. Problem is : We don't have the kind of money to spend $400-$500 on a dinner with drinks... and we'd like the kids to be involved, too, so having drinks at a bar is out.

I'm wondering how rude it would be to invite everyone to a dinner (at this awesome buffet)  where they'd pay for themselves... but then invite them to an afterparty at the Legion (we all love it there, neighborhood bar) where we'd pick up all the drinks? So familes would all be together at dinner, kids running around like crazy, then we drop them off at Grandma's and hit the bar where everyone would drink for free (up to around $250 - at the legion, a beer is like $2, mixed drink $3 so they're really cheap!)

What do y'all think?! Please help!

Viczaesar

If you invite them to something, you need to pay for it.  This is not appropriate.  If you want to have something with everyone you might think about hosting something at your house or a bbq at a park or something like that.  However, I don't think it's necessary to get all of your wedding party together ahead of time.  They're not going to be a new social unit.

PetalPockets2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wanting-something-nice-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:dbb60fef-9c4a-485d-9534-05dae724fd06Post:9857ddab-1831-4321-ad6b-5903ad9ba322">Re: Wanting to do something nice for our Wedding Party!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you invite them to something, you need to pay for it.  This is not appropriate.  If you want to have something with everyone you might think about hosting something at your house or a bbq at a park or something like that.  However, I don't think it's necessary to get all of your wedding party together ahead of time.  They're not going to be a new social unit.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

This. It's ok if your WP is not all friends with each other. They don't really need to bond or get to know each other. But, if you want to do something, I think having something casual like PP suggested would be best.

em01092

I agree about your WP not needing to be BFFs.

That said, if you still want to host a get together, you need to well, host and that means pay. 

Now, if you want to get around paying but still get some people acquainted, just say, "Hey so and so, just wanted to let you know that FI and I are going out on ____(when) to our fave eating place. We also invited ____(other WP members), so we'd love for you to join us if you can!" I would never in a million years take that kind of invite as to mean my dinner and booze is being paid for. 

graysquirrel

I agree with pps. A lot of times brides think that their WP needs to know each other for the wedding to be pulled off well, but that isn't true. They will barely interact at all during the wedding, and if they want to hang out after, they will.

I do understand the desire for all of your friends to meet-- you might want to see if any of them click so you can all spend time together later. I get it. But if you make it a wedding specific event that might make them feel like they are obligated because of their roles, then you need to pay. And if that is something you want to do, I would probably do the drinks. It is hard to get to know people when you have to be looking after kids.

Simply Fated

To save money you can totally keep it super casual. People tend to be more relaxed in that sort of environment, anyway. For my friend's wedding she was deadset on the bridal party getting to know each other. Her and her husband threw several bbqs and pizza nights... at first we resisted, but we've all stayed in touch, since lol.

LittleMissCutiePie

I would suggest doing something at your home. Like a BBQ. Have a couple kegs and a few bottles of wine. It doesn't have to be expensive, however it's rude to invite people out to a thank-you type party and expect them to pay their own way.

FutureMrsCassel

Thanks for all the input, ladies! Of course it would be rude to invite people to a dinner and not pay for them - was just trying to see if there was another way to get my WP together at a restaurant for some quality time together.

Will probably be looking into something more casual. Again - thanks so much!

AurorasEnvy

I agree, something casual like a BBQ would still be a nice gesture, the kids could run around otuside, and the more casual environment will promote more socalization IMO than sitting at a restaraunt table.

CrumpledFang

Food Trucks are an awesome idea and an economical solution for your dining woes! Manna From Heaven Gourmet Food Truck is a particularly delicious and healthy choice. They offer a HUMUNGOUS menu with items that are sure to please even the pickiest eater! They have several options, and one of them IS buffet-style, or even better, self-serve! Your guests can actually purchase their own meals from the truck and pick it up as a normal customer. It's the most economical choice and a unique experience!  http://mannafoodtruck.com