Bridesmaids

RitaLee

Ok my wedding is in August 2011 and I know it is a bit off.  But how long should I wait to ask my friends to be bridesmaids.  I'm a bit hesitant because one of my best friends and I weren't speaking for about a year and now we are friends again, although it's not what it was before I still consider her one of my best friends and I am just worried that she may not be expecting the invite.  What do you guys think or have you been in a similar situation?!

TIA

mbcdefg

Ask no more than a year out. Better yet, wait until about 8-10 months out.

So that puts you around the end of 2010, beginning of 2011. So wait about a year from now to ask. There's no need to ask your BMs now because there's nothing for them to do at this point in time. Plus relationships might change and you can't un-ask once you've asked. And even if your friendships DO hold up until your wedding, you risk giving them all wedding burnout if you ask now.

I'm also assuming that you may not have your ceremony and reception venues booked yet, right? If not, then you ESPECIALLY shouldn't ask because your date isn't set in stone if those things aren't booked. And a lot of people who plan more than a year in advance sometimes wind up changing their dates anyway.

SarahPLiz

ditto mbcdefg. Wait and see what happens.

megk8oz

Wait until you're 8-10 months out. You don't need to order BM dresses any sooner than that. Actually, most places, you order dresses at 4-6 months out, so depending on where you plan to go dress shopping, you could cut it a little closer if you want.

Relationships change a lot in the course of a year. We seriously get girls on a regular basis that asked their 7 "bestest friends in the whole wide world" 2 years in advanced and now they hate everybody they asked for whatever reason and they want to know if they can start kicking people out. Unless the girl sleeps with your FI or lights your wedding dress on fire, you're pretty much stuck if you don't want to be "rude".

Remember this: once you ask, there are "no backsies". So wait until you're much closer, and think long and hard about who you really want standing up there with you before you do anything.

Best Wishes!

banana468

Ditto MB!

ipwtfa91

I asked SUPER far ahead, a decision I already regret. I would definitely wait till about 10 months or so prior to your wedding.

sweetpe75

I'd wait til @ least Aug 2010 or no later then November 2010.
Good luck!!
Melissa

mrsamyjones

my advice is about 6 or 7 months out from your wedding...ask. it will be about the time to start looking for bm dresses and you'll be doing std's and invitations not too long after that...then if they feel like it they can help you...great

if you start thinking to yourself...i really want to ask so and so right now...stop and read the posts on this board about all the girls that made the same mistake and are now regretting it and save yourself the heartache

jenn.daniel

Our wedding is June 2011.  If I see any of the future BMs in person, I will ask her then.  That likely won't be until next fall because we're spread across the northern hemisphere for grad school.  I have asked my MOH already b/c she travels to Guatemala in the summer for school and family.  I'm hoping with this much notice she'll be able to be in the country to be in the wedding!