Changing Your Mind About Ushers

joleri23

I originally asked both of my male cousins to be "ushers" for my wedding. I really didn't expect them to seat anyone, just act as escorts for my mom and my FI's mom. Now, three months before the wedding, one has said he doesn't want to do it. And to tell you the truth, I now don't want either one of them to do it: they're both alcoholics and I don't trust them to even be able to show up, sober or not.

Can I just tell them I've changed the ceremony and plan on not having escorts? This is the truth. I now just want to have parents seat themselves. If it helps, we're having a small, pretty non-traditional wedding. What would you do?

OliveOilsMom

I would let the one drop out.  But I wouldn't get rid of the other one.  It could cause family problems you don't want or need. I would have the other cousin usher grandma or mom up during the processional and ask MOG would she woud like to escort her.  Perhaps have a secret back up usher for your mother if unreliable cousin doesn't show up.

MyNameIsNot

I normally hate the idea of asking someone if they still want to be in the wedding, but I think this situation is a little different.  I would call the one who is left and say "Steve decided he didn't want to be an usher anymore, so you're the only usher.  If you still want to do it, you'll be escorting grandma and Sara.  I certainly could never replace Steve, and we'd love for you to be an escort, but I wanted to let you know that it will be ok if you decide you'd feel weird being the only usher."  

eelsbury08

your groomsman are suppose to be your ushers.

joleri23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_changing-your-mind-about-ushers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:dd92a8b3-b106-456b-9150-1e170cd8b4f1Post:846e1a66-52f3-49ab-9a4d-8ad675eba1d6">Re: Changing Your Mind About Ushers</a>:
[QUOTE]your groomsman are suppose to be your ushers.
Posted by eelsbury08[/QUOTE]

We only have a best man - this is a small wedding and I know too many cooks spoil the broth.