Wedding Party
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Dreading Choosing??

I'm dreading choosing my bridal party. I would like to have a small bridal party (mainly for $$ reasons, but also IMO, it looks silly when there's a huge group of people up front). I have a wide variety of close friends (which is a blessing!) but is making this very difficult. I think I've widdled it down to 5 (I think 5 is still too many), but don't know how I could make it any smaller. I think FI has gotten his side down to 4 (I don't care if they are unequal #s)

Also, I'm not looking forward to choosing a MOH. I know I don't have to have one, and I may go that route. What are the downsides of not having a MOH? I was wondering if I could give each girl one MOH "role" during the day (1. stand next to me during the ceremony, 2. be our witness, 3. give a toast ... I'll have to keep thinking.)  I have no sisters, and I feel like I can't choose 1 friend over the rest. Am I overthinking this?

Also, would it be weird if I didn't have a MOH and he has a best man?

Re: Dreading Choosing??

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    Yep, you're overthinking.  It's fine to have no MOH even if he has a best man.
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    You don't need to have a MOH and if there's not one girl who is particularly close to you over the rest, then I would say, don't have one just to have one.

    My MOH choice was easy because I am very close with my sister.  Narrowing down the BMs was hard for me too to the point where we almost just went with MOH and Best Man to avoid the stress.  My fiance wanted to have a smallish (3 or 4 max each) wedding party and  I would *ideally* like that as well, for budget and photo and convenience reasons.  But there are so many people that are near and dear to our hearts that we couldn't cut them.  I have a sister-in-law and his sister that we wanted in there in addition to my sister/MOH, so that was 3 for sure already, and then I had a few close friends as well.  I had finally compromised down to 6 when he accidentally asked his 5 really good friends all at once to be his GMs, so with my brother and his own brother-in-law, that made seven for him and I was like, "yay, I guess I get to have my 7 BMs!"  (I originally wanted *9* so even this was a hard choice!)

    In the end I feel happy about who we have in it, and a little regretful about the couple of friends I would like to have in it but just can't.  For us I would rather be inclusive than regret not having someone there that I love.  

    So I say ask the five that you know you want, and don't look back.  You may have always thought it look silly to have a lot of people up there but now that you're up there, you may realize you couldn't do it without the however many people are close to you!
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    Yeah, you're definitely over-thinking, but these things happen. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and breathe.

    First off, if you don't choose a MOH, it's ok for FI to still have a Best Man. Friends of mine got married last summer and the situation was reversed: Groom had 4 best friends standing up and couldn't bear to pick one guy over the rest, so he called them all his Best Man and gave each something to do: 1 guy held the rings, 1 (My FI) did the toast, 1 escorted the MOH in the recessional, and the other did a reading during the ceremony. The bride had 1 MOH and 2 BMs. Each of the Groom's attendants were listed as the Best Man in the program.

    Nobody really gave their BP a second thought.

    The other thing is, look at the girls you want to ask. If you close your eyes and envision your wedding for a second, do all of them immediately pop into your head standing up with you? If so, then to hell with 5 being "too much", have who you absolutely can't imagine not standing there.

    Best of luck!

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    I'm not having a MOH and my FI will have a Best Man. He'll have 2 guys total on his side and I will have 4 girls total on my side (all are bridesmaids).

    I plan to have them lined up by height order so that will determine who stands next to me during the ceremony. I'll ask them who would be most comfortable giving the toast at the reception and go from there. Anyone can sign the marriage license so I'm not worried about that....

    There really aren't any "downsides" to not asking someone to have that title. If they're all special to you and you can't choose one or two people as your MOH(s) it's just fine to have everyone be BMs. Nobody will ask about it or think it's weird, I promise.

    Choosing my BP was the most stressful part of wedding planning for me to date, but it was because I overthink things. :-) Besides, if your friends are all rational adults they won't stomp their feet and throw a fit if not chosen (and if they do, it's better manners to do that in private and not in front of you, lol). Wink
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dreading-choosing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:dee7e13d-c0cb-40e4-b450-ca52f0b4a8a0Post:a8516d94-6159-49a2-961b-4e7902d2fbe0">Re: Dreading Choosing??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just need to find a special role for each of them to have.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    BM is a special role, don't stress about finding some other extra special thing for them each to do.
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