who rides in the limo

mbjines

We are looking at limos now for our Aug. 2010 wedding. In an effort to save some $$ we were thinking of getting a smaller limo for just the bridal party (not their guests). Is this rude of us? I think it is, but my fi thinks it's fine.

Please keep in mind we are also providing a shuttle bus service to transport guests to the different venues.

duckie1905

It is incredibly rude to ask your WP to leave their guests behind.  Regardless of whether or not you are providing a shuttle for guests, the WP's dates should be included in any WP transportation that is provided.

mbcdefg

Hey fellow MaryBeth

I would only say that it's rude if the guests have absolutely no other way to get around. Otherwise, they can drive their own cars (which they may need to do anyway, for themselves and their date to get home the next day) or hitch a ride with a friend/family member. Or just take the shuttle.

We happen to have space in our limo so we will probably offer to let the dates tag along if they wish. But they all have friends that they could get a ride with if they wish, and I'm betting that some might want to drive their own cars anyway.

emilyinchile

I've seen the argument go both ways - from what duckie's saying to the idea that if your limo is only between the ceremony and reception, it's probably more convenient for everyone if the dates drive themselves so that everyone can get home after the party. If your WP and dates have to travel to your wedding, and not having space in the limo would be an inconvenience (ie. force them to rent a car), I would say you need to include them. Since there is a shuttle available, I don't think it's that bad.

duckie1905

Actually, I guess my answer my change depending on what the schedule is.  Is the limo just for ceremony to reception?  Okay, I could deal with that.  But, if you are taking the WP for hours of pictures that would take them from their dates for a significant amount of time, I do think that is rude.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

See, I have the opposite opinion of Duckie. We're doing pictures before the ceremony and I'm pretty positive most of the dates don't want to just be standing around with us, doing nothing during that time. Especially since they are all local.

ANGEL006

Sorry, but whomever you would like if it's a local wedding.

I have never been asked as a member of a BP if I wanted to bring a guest in the limo or as a date of a BP member. I was not offended in the slightest in either situation. Afterall, how is the vehicle going to get to the reception site ?

BTW, we offered our BP to bring their "dates" in our limo and only 2 of 10 chose to.

duckie1905

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_rides-limo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e1e74ba2-ae97-47a8-ab9d-845df88b17b6Post:22ae0fe4-357b-4601-b098-531298d3371d">Re: who rides in the limo</a>:
[QUOTE]See, I have the opposite opinion of Duckie. We're doing pictures before the ceremony and I'm pretty positive most of the dates don't want to just be standing around with us, doing nothing during that time. Especially since they are all local.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

<div>I see both sides.  I would depend on if I knew others at the wedding and whether or not I was local.  I went to a wedding with DH in which I only knew people in the WP.  They took hours of pictures and I knew no one.  Not that I'm not capable of entertaining myself for a few hours, but I would rather been around the WP than a bunch of people I didn't know.</div><div>
</div><div>If the dates know people at the wedding I think it would be fine.</div><div>
</div><div>So basically, I have no good advice for the OP.  Why not just as the WP what they think?</div>

aerinpegadrak

I was just about to say this: why not just ask them individually?  We're getting a limo for a pre-ceremony photo tour.  So far some of the spouses have shown an interest in coming along, and some would rather stay behind and do their own thing.  It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing: make the offer to everyone and see who bites.

CTGirl30

Here's the way I've always seen it done for weddings I have been a BM in (and how I will be doing it for my wedding): the girls ride with the bride in the limo and their dates do their own transportation to the ceremony.

The guys (GMs) usually arrange their own transportation to the ceremony site.

Then I've ridden with my date from ceremony site to reception site in our own car and then just go home with him at the end of the reception.

Usually it's just easiest that way since the BMs are gettign ready with the bride and the girls are all together. Their dates are usually quite capable of getting themselves to the ceremony and this just seems to be the norm how I've seen it done - nobody has insinuated they've found it rude.

isufans4ever

I attended a wedding over the summer in which my FI was a groomsman...I was not invited in the Limo and I was also not familiar with the town and I didn't know anyone at the wedding who wasn't in the wedding party.  Let me just tell you that I felt completely left out and was pretty upsed about it.  I think it is completely rude to do this!

bablingbrooke

I've ridden in the limo separately from DH when I've been in a wedding.  It actually wasn't a problem--DH came separately to the ceremony and didn't have to come early and sit around while we took photos.  I don't think it's rude.  It IS, however, a hassle to have DH drop me off at the bride's house, then he goes home, then to the ceremony site.  

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_rides-limo?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e1e74ba2-ae97-47a8-ab9d-845df88b17b6Post:e626b7a7-5609-45cd-a1b6-0af5b11dd5a3">Re: who rides in the limo</a>:
[QUOTE]I attended a wedding over the summer in which my FI was a groomsman...I was not invited in the Limo and I was also not familiar with the town and I didn't know anyone at the wedding who wasn't in the wedding party.  Let me just tell you that I felt completely left out and was pretty upsed about it.  I think it is completely rude to do this!
Posted by isufans4ever[/QUOTE]

In this case (and in the case of the date having no personal car and nobody to carpool with), I agree that it's rude to exclude them from the limo.

OP, I'd just talk to your wedding party members and see what they think.

banana468

I think it really depends on your WP and what you're doing.

When we were married, the limo ride was just to take us from the church to the reception with NO stop in between.  We had a twenty minute ride with the BP where we drank some champagne and took photos.

Then at the reception venue, our WP met their dates (and yes, of COURSE they were seated with them!) and they hung out the rest of the time.  This also worked well because the WP's partners were the transportation FROM the reception so another vehicle was there.  If we were to do anything other than a short drive, I would have had two limos....and if we were going to do photos, I would have given the partners our itinerary if they wanted to follow.

When DH and I were in BIL and SIL's wedding, they arranged for a party bus that would hold the entire bridal party PLUS their dates.  DH and I were in the BP but other dates were in the bus once the ceremony was over.  I can't say enough how awesome it was.  I got in the party bus as we left the parents' of the bride's home and got out of the bus at the end of the night when DH and I were getting into our hotel.  I know that's not the most cost efficient thing, but I have to say, it was such a nice gesture to those of us in the BP.

MyNameIsNot

I agree that it really depends on the situation.  When we got married, only our local WP ended up coming with dates.  We did the bulk of our pictures before and started pretty early, so they just met us at the ceremony.  I guess they could have come to that if they'd wanted, but I'm sure they preferred to not get up early on Saturday morning.  Then they were invited to hang out while we did pics at the church after, but they drove their own cars to the reception, while the WP rode the 20 mins with us in the limo.  Then the local WP rode home with their dates in their cars and the OOT people rode the shuttle to the hotel. 

I agree that if you're doing a photo tour that you should invite them along, and if they are OOT you probably need to make sure they have some sort of transportation, but I don't think they have to be in the limo. 

arp4181

The last wedding I was in, it was bridal party only in the limo.  Our dates were fine either car pooling with each other, or simply driving their own vehicles.  That way, after the reception when there was no limo, we had a car to get home.  I don't think it's rude not to include the dates of your wedding party in the limo.  Especially since you have a shuttle!

latourelle83

I think if you have the room then it's fine to let guests ride in the limo but it's your own choice.  Our limo will hold 22 people;  we have a pretty big wedding party and so for everyone to bring a date who is dating someone as of now it would be 27 people so that isn't an option for us.

dirtymartini

 If you are agreeing to be somebody's guest to a wedding, and that person you are going with is in the wedding party, you better believe that they are going to have some obligations as a WP member and you won't be able to hold their hand the entire day and night.  If you can't handle that, do not be a guest of somebody who is in a WP.

It is not rude to have a limo and not include the WP's dates.  If you have 6 groomsmen and 6 bridesmaids, you already have 14 people in the wedding.  Lets add 12 more people (dates of the WP) and youve got 26 people in the limo. Give me a break.

kamjg

You do what you want, it is YOUR MONEY AND YOUR WEDDING DAY!! DON'T LET ANYONE TRY AND TELL YOU OTHERWISE!!

rivkahstein1

   We are having a late wedding, and are taking pictures earlier in the day.  We will not be providing transportation for the bridal party’s guests.  When my fiancé’s brother got married my fiancé and just started dating and I met him at the wedding when it began.  I think the bridal party and guests know that is how it is and many of the guests do not want to ride around with you all day.

emillee21

Last summer i was in 3 weddings and the limo was for wp only and i'm getting married in oct and i have a big wedding party 7 girls and guys and there is no room for there guests and i have never heard of bringing your guests in the limo, when you agree to be in a wp you should know that your not going to be with your date the whole time.

Jdomanus_9200429

I don't think there is anything wrong with the dates not riding in the limo.  Then again if you're going all over the place and multiple stops with the BP then maybe rent a trolley or something like that and include the dates.  It would be nice if there is someone not familiar with the group that you ask one of the BP dates that you're friends with to make them feel comfortable and included.  

kkowalishen

I am getting married in August and it never even occurred to me to ask my BP to bring their dates in the limo. We are going for pictures right after the church service and why would any of their dates what to go to that when they can go drinking right away? When someone agrees to be part of your wedding party they know that they are not going to be with their dates, and their dates know this also...we are  actually doing a meet and greet so everyone knows each other before the wedding and setting up transportation for them to the hotel.....a wedding is super expensive and if you can save some money on the limo go for it, if these dates are going to be sensitive oh well, they will get over it!

splint00

Definitely not rude. I've never heard of dates riding in the limo, maybe it's just not an East Coast thing. That is a little out of control. We see it as the people we love the most being together with us for a  short time in between the ceremony and reception. Look, people will figure it out. It's just another one of those details where really, you don't need to be so accommodating. People really should have a car at the reception anyway to go with their dates afterwords. We are having a shuttle service for all the guests which is a great way to not have "dates" worry about driving on their own and also to discourage any drinking and driving   We got a good rate for the buses, $1000 for two which will run back and forth between the hotels and receptions for 7 hours. I would highly recommend this option...