Overly opinionated BM

artemis908

I just need to vent...

I was a bridesmaid for one of my bridesmaids 2 years ago and I feel like since she has done it before, she keeps on pushing what she did on me. For example, I'd like all of my bridesmaid to wear the same dress. I am going to have them try on several dresses and whichever one looks good on them, will be the one we pick. I would never force them to wear something that didn't look good, but since we all got to choose our dresses for her wedding (just had to be the same color), she is pushing that on me and she won't let go... 

She is also very pushy about where the bachelorette and bridal shower are. She is not the maid of honor and most of my friends and family are from NJ (my fiancee, his family and I all live in PA), so she keeps on pushing for everything to be in PA. Thankfully my maid of honor is not one to be pushed around and has held her ground, but I feel like since this bridesmaid has been married, she thinks she knows everything. She doesn't realize I don't want to do things her way.

gottahavashorti

Don't bring up the wedding with her, and if she does, change the subject.

banana468

1) On the dress, just say, "I really hope we can find just one that works for everyone."  But be open to her suggestion.

2) On the shower/bachelorette, just say, "I think it's best for you to talk to the other girls about that."

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_overly-opinionated-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e2f70176-cbee-4753-b909-a7ff6f646da0Post:0565eebc-a116-4d5a-a6d0-21a4e116bbe3">Overly opinionated BM</a>:
[QUOTE]I just need to vent... I was a bridesmaid for one of my bridesmaids 2 years ago and I feel like since she has done it before, she keeps on pushing what she did on me. For example, I'd like all of my bridesmaid to wear the same dress. I am going to have them try on several dresses and whichever one looks good on them, will be the one we pick. I would never force them to wear something that didn't look good, but since we all got to choose our dresses for her wedding (just had to be the same color), she is pushing that on me and she won't let go...  She is also very pushy about where the bachelorette and bridal shower are. She is not the maid of honor and most of my friends and family are from NJ (my fiancee, his family and I all live in PA), so she keeps on pushing for everything to be in PA. Thankfully my maid of honor is not one to be pushed around and has held her ground, but I feel like since this bridesmaid has been married, she thinks she knows everything. <strong>She doesn't realize I don't want to do things her way.</strong>
Posted by artemis908[/QUOTE]

You can thank her for her input, but tell her you want it to be done your own way.  She may not realize she is being pushy, but just trying to offer her advice.  Sometimes people who have gone through things suddenly think they are experts on the subject.  Keep planning for the way YOU want things, and just take what she says with a grain of salt.

As for the bach party, well, that's not your department.  Just let your MOH stand her ground on what she feels is best, and if BM does not like it  she does not have to go.

saxy414

Letting the BMs wear dresses of their choosing is really nice, so I'm with her on that.  But, if your other girls are ok with wearing the same dresses, just change the subject when your opinionated BM brings it up and make sure you have everyone's budgets and opinions in mind when you dress-shop.  It's also ok if for whatever reason this girl ends up in a slightly different dress--probably no one will notice, and if there's a possiblity for this girl to make a giant fuss about the dress, just let her wear something else.

Re: the bachelorette and shower, don't get in the middle.  It sounds like your MOH has it all under control, so don't get involved.