Bridesmaids

mrshillaryhale28

I was talking with my fiance about the wedding party and he flipped when I said that I had invited 6 people (5 + MOH) to be bridesmaids.
Is 6 too many??

susanv85

It's up to you. I'm having 3 girls next to me, but thats because there isn't anybody else I'm that close to. I was in a bridal party of 8 once, and as a bridesmaid, I didn't enjoy being in such a big group, there was a lot of pressure to just conform with what everyone else wanted to do (ie bridal shower, bachelorette), that was outside my budget, but I did it because I didn't want to cause a fuss. I didn't want my bridal party to feel that way, which is why I kept it small. But that's just my preference. 

ElisabethJoanne

Not in the abstract.

If you're having ushers, you should have 1 per 50 guests. I feel that there should be a similar rule re: bridesmaids. I've seen weddings with 50 people in the pews and 8 bridesmaids. It just looks funny to me when the bridal party is 1/4 of those assembled.

But that's just me. The "real rule" is that you should choose those people you want standing next to you during those momentous moments, and the sides don't have to be even.

RaptorSLH

6 is only "too many" if you can't afford them or don't want them.  There is no hard and fast right number for your wedding party, although PP is right in that the bigger the wedding, the more you can have before it starts to look silly.  

The bigger issue is that he "flipped," which implies he had strong feelings about it, and that he had no idea what you were going to do before you did it.  While normally we tell people you get to pick your own party, and he picks his, it's generally a good idea if you're on the same page for your wedding plans.  It's time to sit down and discuss what opinions you both have, so neither of you gets blindsided by something you weren't prepared for - or can't afford.

Kicking someone out of the wedding party would be a serious insult, and likely end the friendship, no matter the reason.  You're looking for a compromise now that addresses his concerns, but don't "uninvite" anyone.

tpender13

Yeah, you really need to get on the same page as your FI. Quickly.

LittleMissCutiePie

It depends on the size of your guest list. If you're having a smallish wedding (50 people), six girls is ten percent of your guest list. If you're having an average to larger wedding, six is really a drop in the bucket. But, despite all of this, it's still up to you, not your FI, who you have stand up on your side.

em01092

Your FI does not need to have 6 GMs. Example: say he only asks 3 GMs. Each one can escort two BMs, one lady on either arm. They could also all walk alone. 

If you have already asked your friends/relatives to be in your WP, you should NOT unask people in order to "downsize" your WP. That ship has sailed. Unasking BMs is very rude. 

mrshillaryhale28

Yeah... It was five but his sister sort of worked her way in. I'm not even close to her and she would be the one I would eliminate if I could but I know that's a huge insult so I'm stuck with six. And when he flipped I didn't want to bring it up that his sister was the unwanted one... I have a relatively large family and then there will be friends so I hope it doesn't look out of proportion or stupid. That would suck. I guess I will just have to deal since five of the six are the most important people in my life

ANM2012

I have 7 BMs = 1 MOH, 5 BMs and 1 Jr Bridesmaid (future step-daughter) sooo no 6 is not too many.  PP's are right...it's about who you're close to and want there to see you on your journey to Mrs. :-)

Simply Fated

Why did he flip?

graysquirrel

I agree with pps that 6 is only too big if the guest count is small. Other than that, you have the right to select whomever you wish. I wouldn't worry too much about them coordinating for stuff. BMs only have to show up on the wedding day in the selected dress. If they decided to do parties for you, they will have to figure out the coordination aspects, not you.

rebarobert2012

6 people is not too many.  If you are close to all of these people, then naturally you would want them in your WP.  Your fiance does not have to have an even number of groomsmen to match your bridesmaids either.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e2fd7fc0-bb8e-401c-bfd9-cd4a10763fbbPost:e8840265-834e-4adc-bcc5-dc189c5530d2">Re: Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, you really need to get on the same page as your FI. Quickly.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

Why would she need to do this?  The bride picks her side and the groom picks his.  If she wants 6 girls (well, really 5 since one just weasled their way in) then she is allowed to have 6 girls.  I really don't see why your FI would get upset and if he continues to be upset about something so insignificant then he needs to grow up!

And no 6 is not too many...it only gets to be too many if you start including people that you really don't want just because a family member or friend insists.

RaptorSLH

[QUOTE]<span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;" class="Apple-style-span">Yeah, you really need to get on the same page as your FI. Quickly.[/QUOTE]</span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;" class="Apple-style-span">[QUOTE]Why would she need to do this?  The bride picks her side and the groom picks his. </span>[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Because unilateral decisions and "you can't make me" are a lousy way to start a lifelong commitment.  Because his "flipping" indicates a major disconnect in the vision they have for the wedding.  (Or a major personality problem.  I'm going to assume the former for now.)</div><div>
</div><div>Maybe he's picturing an intimate ceremony with only the closest family and friends, and she's picturing a lavish affair.  Maybe he's thinking destination, and she's thinking easily accessible to all.  Maybe he's footing much of the bill, and he can't afford a large wedding party.  Maybe he just feels left out, like she's not giving him a chance to be involved in his own wedding, and it's not the decision but the way he found out that bothers him.  Maybe because he's ill-informed about wedding etiquette and tradition.  Or maybe he's being petty.  Until they get on the same page, the OP won't know.</div><div>
</div><div>And note, I'm not saying to unask the BMs.  I'm not saying she doesn't get to choose.  But yes, I think some communicaton is in order here.

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