what if someone says no?

rsanna

All right, well I have some ideas of who I want to be in my BP and have decided I will most likely have 6 girls. This also works great with my theme rainbow and who I am close with. One of the people I am thinking is my sister. There is a chance she could decline, because what if she doesn't have the money, doesn't really want to, or whatever reason. It is completely her choice, whenever I ask her. My question is, if she says no, should I ask someone else? I just have this horrible feeling like it will be fake or rude. There are a few other girls I am close with that I COULD ask, but I just feel like doing this would be like 2nd tiered bridesmaids. What do you guys think? Is my gut right?

ceh789

Don't have a b-list.  You've chosen 6 people.  If one or more decline then deal with that number of BMs.

rsanna

Okay, that was what I was thinking too. I just couldn't get it out of my head how horrible being a second choice bridesmaid would be and wanted to make sure I wasn't being paranoid or something. Thanks!

TiffannieF

Yes, your gut is correct...it would be a b-list BM.  Are your six colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple?  You could take out the orange or use persimmon(which is a reddish orange). 

When is your wedding?  If it's more than 12 months away try hanging out with your sister and do things non related to improve the relationship.  If money is still an issue ask her budget and see if you would be able to pay for half of the dress. 

ETA:  I wouldn't ask anybody to be part of the WP until 9 months before the wedding however.

GoodLuckBear14

Your wedding is August 2013.  Don't ask anyone until the beginning of next year.  Things, including relationships change.

rsanna

Don't worry. I havent asked anyone. I have ideas, and may start makong gifts...paintings....but those can also be used as cute birthday or christmas presents or something.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-if-someone-says-no?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e30ab0d3-aac7-4d21-8c04-6272118ed127Post:11f7b314-edd5-4774-a228-b80e39bcbc98">Re: what if someone says no?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, your gut is correct...it would be a b-list BM.  Are your six colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple?  <strong>You could take out the orange or use persimmon(which is a reddish orange)</strong>.  When is your wedding?  If it's more than 12 months away try hanging out with your sister and do things non related to improve the relationship.  If money is still an issue ask her budget and see if you would be able to pay for half of the dress.  ETA:  I wouldn't ask anybody to be part of the WP until 9 months before the wedding however.
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

Oo...that's cute.  Or an aqua for blue/green.

rsanna

I was actually thinking of pink instead or red, and so if/when I ask my sister and if she says now, I probably won't have orange.  It is my least favorite color, but the reddish orange and blue/green are really great ideas too. Honestly it isn't going to be that big of a deal if she can't. Of course, I want her there, but my world won't end if she can't. She has 3 kids and bills and her own life.  If she can't be a BM, I only hope that she will be able to attend.  But even then, it is her life and it doesn't center around me and she may have something more important, which is fine.  It won't make her my sister any less.

One of the friends I am considering asking may be going to Australia next summer, which is an amazing opportunity.  Our wedding isn't the biggest things in my friends' lives.  It is a big thing to my FI and I, and if things come up.  That is okay.  The day will go on. Thanks for the advice, especially the colors!

mbcdefg

Your gut is right.

brenda2011Wed139476

I am close to my two cousins, who are sisters.  I asked them both to me co-MOH.  One said yes, and the other declined, since she had already been asked to be a MOH to someone else close to my date.  She did however, say she would be a BM.  Ask your sister.  She may surprise you!