Why do parents make me hate teaching?

saisongbird

I just had ANOTHER psycho parent issue with the play.  We have a parent meeting tomorrow night, on the first night of Hanukkah.  I'm aware of it, and I'm Jewish - the meeting is a half an hour, and the parent in question is still able to go home afterwards to light the candle.  So the parent emailed us and said "I'm sure scheduling for the first was an oversight.  Please let me know when you are rescheduling the meeting for."  Yeah...that's not happening.  The entire reason we had to schedule it for tomorrow is that it is the ONLY night in the next 3 weeks that we could have it. We emailed her back and explained the issue and that we understood if she couldn't make the meeting and that we'd be happy to meet with her at her convienence.  She emailed us back and said that she couldn't believe that the first was the only date available, and that she'd be happy to see us on December 24th at 7pm. ::Headdesk:: We got the principal involved on this one.  What else were we supposed to do?  After meeting with the principal and our union representative and getting the principal confirmation that she's absolutely nuts and out of line (and showing the principal how long hanukkah lasted and how that would cut out the next week and a half) and the principal said to email her back saying no and to email her all of the pertinent information. ::sigh:: I hate the play.  I HATE HATE HATE the play.  I hate the way these parent interactions make me feel, or that I need to scream when i get home because I can't do it at school and the only one who hears it is my amazing husband and that it feels like I'm yelling at him when I'm not but I just need to get it out, and I hate the fact that I'm so stressed out that I'm drinking on a Tuesday night. It's so NOT FAIR to throw the play on a new teacher.  NOT COOL.  And the worst/best part is that apparently, other teachers went to fight for me, saying that it wasn't fair of them to do this to me, before they'd even met me.  ugh.

tldh

I think she was trying to make a point when she said she could meet Christmas Eve.  I remember working for a partner who was Jewish and we pretty much had half days on Jewish holidays including all of Hanukkah so that he could get home.  He didn't think it was fair for everyone else (Jewish or not) to have to stay.

I'm sorry this is so frustrating for you but really, in this economy, this is a high class problem.

saisongbird

I get what you're saying - I really do - but this is not a major holiday, and we don't get off of school for it.  If it were a major holiday, I wouldn't have even considered it.  But this holiday lasts 8 nights, and we're in the middle of concert season.  There is honestly no other day that the auditorium isn't being used for a concert or a school function or we don't have another conflict.  It's just not feasible.  She knows that school is closed on the 24th - so while she was doing it to make a point, she is being a massive b*tch in my opinion and making an idiot of herself by doing so.

I know that I'm lucky to have a job but even so - I want to scream over how frustrating this is.

banana468

Well, I can't blame you for being upset.  Sometimes parents can just be really difficult.

jaimed99

My daughter's school district has a high percentage of Jewish students...the kids usually get major Jewish holidays off...except Hanukkah. I find it hard to believe that one half-hour meeting is going to screw up a family's ENTIRE 8-day celebration...but if she doesn't want to attend, she (from what you said) is not obligated to attend, correct?

I hope that this all turns out well...and Happy Hanukkah!

Manwaithiel

I'm sorry, but that's like saying we should reschedule around everyone's birthday or anniversary. Each day on the calendar is bound to be important to someone for some reason at your school. Sometimes you just have to choose and say "This is that," and be done with it.

And Hanukkah does not last all the way to Christmas so her point is kind of moot. You offered to meet with her at another time. It's not like you demanded that she meet that day.

As a frequent event planner, it absolutely boggles my mind how selfish people can be. Your trying to arrange something for many, many people. Of course someone is not going to be able to make it or it's going to be inconvenient for them. But this isn't a parent teacher conference. It's a group meeting. If you can't make it, just send your apologies, say that isn't going to work, and request the necessary info. Ah, the wonders of email.

DavidandAmyClark

If your play meetings are like my play meetings for parents they aren't even required. Who cares? 
Ugh, parents are the least favorite part of my job. And I have got to say, I am in my second year of being tech director for our school play (I am an art teacher). And I, in my 5 years of teaching never got so many parents phone calls and emails except for play related "issues." 
I just remind myself that the students are part of the play because they are drama queens.  And often times the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Good luck. Try to remember why you DO teach.  I love seeing my kids successful, that is why I love my job.

banana468

That's interesting that some people didn't have concerts in December.  When I was in HS we had holiday concerts in December.  We sang both Christian and Jewish songs and for the life of me, I can't remember if they were ever on a Jewish holiday.

saisongbird

December is such a crazy month.  We have 2 high schools, 4 middle schools, and 12 (yes, 12) elementary schools in our district.  Both the middle schools and the high schools host the elementary concerts, but this December our school is hosting 5 concerts.  Crazy!  So when you throw it in there that I also teach privately 2 nights a week and it's a loss of $200/week when I don't teach those lessons, we get limited to only being able to hold that meeting 2 days a week.  And of course, the concerts fall on most of those nights.  But we don't want to wait until January because we NEED parent help building sets and getting everything together, and we don't want to have a full month of rehearsals before we've addressed our expectations and needs with the parents.

FWIW, Long Island has a good sized Jewish population, but the Jewish population isn't huge where I teach.  I think out of a 45 member cast, we have 3 kids who are Jewish, plus me.  This parent apparently has a reputation of complaining, and has even been nasty to the principal, which is all helpful for me, but even with 6 years of teaching experience, this is the one part of the job that consistently gives me stomachaches and migraines.  I love the kids.  But I hate the parents.

banana468

If it makes you feel better, there are jerks everywhere.  I've had to deal with my share of jerky coworkers too.

Manwaithiel

I ALWAYS had concerts in December. I'm in college for music and there are ALWAYS concerts in December. It's the end of the semester concert and/or year concert. Seriously.

SaraAndrew2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_parents-hate-teaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e431c348-dc83-469a-bc02-8aca05429b97Post:3f340fa4-bfc3-47fc-bf11-eb5bb6928e35">Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching?</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm sorry this is so frustrating for you but really, in this economy, this is a high class problem.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

I don't understand this comment.  OP is a teacher, not an investment banker.  I think it's silly to tell anyone who is venting about a work issue that they are worrying about a "high class problem."  Just because the economy is bad doesn't mean that people with jobs don't have any right to complain.

artbyallie

Whoa, wait... does this woman not realize that you are also Jewish and thus inconvenienced in the exact same way by the meeting? Fail on her for trying to make a point.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_parents-hate-teaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e431c348-dc83-469a-bc02-8aca05429b97Post:86ddd2ef-6da8-41fe-8a61-4878d5bbefb1">Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching? : I don't understand this comment.  OP is a teacher, not an investment banker.  I think it's silly to tell anyone who is venting about a work issue that they are worrying about a "high class problem."  Just because the economy is bad doesn't mean that people with jobs don't have any right to complain.
Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

The saying has nothing to do with the job.  It's a way of saying it's a problem a lot of people would like to have.  It doesn't mean she isn't allowed to vent, it means she is lucky to be working in her field of choice.  A lot of us aren't.  I would love to be back in a law office with a PITA client or too many files on my desk.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_parents-hate-teaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e431c348-dc83-469a-bc02-8aca05429b97Post:15128360-9871-4ff8-a991-2f82dab0fb84">Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching? : The saying has nothing to do with the job.  It's a way of saying it's a problem a lot of people would like to have.  It doesn't mean she isn't allowed to vent, it means she is lucky to be working in her field of choice.  A lot of us aren't.  I would love to be back in a law office with a PITA client or too many files on my desk.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]


That may be true but it still comes off as a bit of a slap in the face.  It's still a real problem even if she is employed.

I remember a different thread a year or so ago where a bride was having a huge issue with her FMIL or MIL and a different knottie who had just lost her FMIL said, "At least you HAVE a MIL." 

Having the job is great but that doesn't mean that the stress is any less valid that goes with it.   And while I wish that you'd find a job too, I also find the comment to be at least slightly insulting.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_parents-hate-teaching?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e431c348-dc83-469a-bc02-8aca05429b97Post:cb49b783-a50b-4c95-be7a-5d8b976cc19e">Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why do parents make me hate teaching? : That may be true but it still comes off as a bit of a slap in the face.  It's still a real problem even if she is employed. I remember a different thread a year or so ago where a bride was having a huge issue with her FMIL or MIL and a different knottie who had just lost her FMIL said, "At least you HAVE a MIL."  Having the job is great but that doesn't mean that the stress is any less valid that goes with it.   And while I wish that you'd find a job too, I also find the comment to be at least slightly insulting.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry that it came off as insulting.  It is something that friends and I have said to eachother over the years.  Go ahead and vent but remember the big picture and count your blessings. 

banana468

I think the issue is that on the message boards, people don't always understand tone or the inside sayings of your friends. 

jenn.daniel

This is one of the reasons I love teaching adults - their parents don't get involved!

Simply Fated

You're on Long Island, right? Sundown here is (was) technically 4:29pm today. That is plenty of time to light the menorah, exchange presents, eat dinner, then head back to the school for the meeting.
Life can't be on hold every time there is a Jewish Holiday. Have you seen one of our calendars? The holidays are endless. And Chanukah is not even one of our more important ones. It isn't even a high holiday. I can understand if you were holding the meeting on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur or even Passover, but she is being unreasonable.
To be fair, although the holiday lasts 8 days, the first day or two is usually the one most Jewish families look forward to most. After that, it feels... repetitive or something lol. So my question is, was she upset because the meeting was being held on the first day of Chanukah or on the holiday itself?