Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

No wedding party?

megjm.614megjm.614
100 Comments
in Wedding Party
My fiance and I are thinking we would rather skip the stress of having a wedding party... is this something anyone has ever done/seen done? we are having a more low key wedding so I'm thinking it could be okay... also what do we do for the duties that the wedding party normally takes care of? is there a way to include special people in the wedding without a wedding party? or is there a way to have a more casual type of wedding party? everyone just seems to get so stressed about it and we are already stressed thinking about who we would ask to be in it so we need help!
Report Reply to Post

Re: No wedding party?

  • Licia&WayneLicia&Wayne
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    It's totally okay to not have a wedding party. I've never been to a wedding without a wp, but I wouldn't think it was weird for a couple to not have one. It would just be the two of you and your officiant standing, and I think that would be lovely.

    You can include people by having them be readers, ushers, candle lighters, Eucharistic Ministers (if you're having a Mass), etc. But don't stress over trying to find "jobs" for people to make them feel included and special. People are special and included by just being guests at a wedding.

    Just be sure you have people ready to sign your marriage license and you're set.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You'd need to have someone hold your bouquet, and designate someone to sign the license if necessary.  That's really the only difference between having a wedding party and not.  I wouldn't bend over backwards trying to come up with a different way to include people.  Either have attendants or don't. 
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
    Report Reply
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Lots of people forego wedding parties. You wouldn't be the first or last couple to do so.

    Their duties are to get the dresses/tuxes and stand for the ceremony. You might ask the Best Man and Maid of Honor to do things during the ceremony like hold your rings, hold your bouquet, sign the license as the official witnesses, etc. In the absence of those honor attendants, your FI can hold the rings in his pocket, or the officiant can hold them. You can place your bouquet on the altar or a front table, or hand it off to a parent to hang onto. Anyone age 18+ who witnessed the ceremony can sign as the official witnesses.

    Oftentimes, the bridal party might be the ones to organize/host a bridal shower or bachelor(ette) party for you. If there's no bridal party, a loved one still might choose to throw them for you. But these parties are gifts that people MIGHT choose to give you - there's no polite way to ask for them or assign people to host them, even if you DO have a bridal party. Whether you have a bridal party or not, you need to sit back and see what you get, and be gracious no matter what. Even if you get nothing.

    If you want to honor loved ones without having a bridal party, you could ask them to do readings, bring up Communion in a Christian wedding, or sing if they are talented. Maybe give a toast at the reception. But remember that it's also an honor to be an invited guest to a wedding, since not every acquaintance makes the cut as a guest. Remember that busywork (manning the guestbook, pouring coffee, setup/cleanup) is not an honor, it's work. The best way to honor a loved one is to let them enjoy themselves fully as a guest.

    If you want a wedding party but want it to be casual, just require them to do nothing more than to get the outfit and show up to the ceremony (which is all you should be asking of them anyway - they may choose to do more on their own, but that's a bonus). If you want to keep it simple in terms of clothes, pick a color and let the girls get their dresses anywhere they want - for example, any black cocktail dress - and let the guys wear suits they already own.

    But yeah, it's fine to skip it entirely.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Licia&WayneLicia&Wayne
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Hm...I think the Knot ate my last post. But anyway, OP, I was just wondering what duties you were worried about? I think Malphabet pretty much covered everything, but I was just curious.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • megjm.614megjm.614
    100 Comments
    When I say duties I don't mean like wedding plans or bachelor/bachelorette parties. I mean more specific duties like holding the rings and bouquet during the ceremony. I guess I'm just stressed about who would do that stuff if we didn't have an MOH or best man.
    Report Reply
  • Licia&WayneLicia&Wayne
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    You'll be fine. If anything, hand your rings to the officiant before hand and have a table/vase/kind person sitting in the front row ready to take your bouquet. It's totally possible to not have a wedding party and nothing to stress about.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Seen it done.  Thought it was lovely.  You're just as married with a WP as you are without one.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We didn't have a wedding party. The officiant held all the stuff when it needed to be held.

    Not having a wedding party was the best decision we ever made.
    Report Reply
  • superheroprincesssuperheroprincess member
    100 Comments

    I would have loved to not have a wedding party... but I doubt FI would agree.

    Report Reply
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e9363d31-41b5-492b-9720-30fc4b2efffcPost:be044a8b-c238-4f3a-bb2f-b9e2db2f15bf">No wedding party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are thinking we would rather skip the stress of having a wedding party... is this something anyone has ever done/seen done?  <strong> My sister and BIL didn't have a WP, and I loved it.  Had I not already been married, I would have given serious consideration to following her lead. </strong>

    we are having a more low key wedding so I'm thinking it could be okay... also what do we do for the duties that the wedding party normally takes care of? <strong>The only duties are during the ceremony.  Have a table near the officiant so that he can place your bouquet there during the ceremony, or hand it back to your mom to hold until the recessional.  As for BM:  have the officiant hold the rings, or you hold your FI's ring and he holds yours.  And any legal adult who witnesses the ceremony can sign the license.  In my sister's case, our mom and his dad signed.</strong>

    <strong>And anyone can really step up to plan a shower and/or b-parties.  If no one does, you don't have those things.  They're certainly not requirements to get married.</strong>

    is there a way to include special people in the wedding without a wedding party? <strong>Guest.  I sang at my sister's wedding, and the rest of our families and their friends were guests, which IS an honor, after all.</strong>

    or is there a way to have a more casual type of wedding party?<strong> I don't really know what you mean by a casual type of WP.</strong>

     everyone just seems to get so stressed about it and we are already stressed thinking about who we would ask to be in it so we need help!
    Posted by megjm.614[/QUOTE]
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards