Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Drama

I asked my cousin to be my bridesmaid... we grew up together and were tight as glue until we were teens.  We drifted, but still when we saw each other it was like not a day passed.  So of course, when I asked, she was squealing with excitement, saying she was available for anything anytime.  I was surprised at her awesome enthusiasm, but yay!  Well, she has been the opposite of that.  She had yet to meet my other bridesmaids, but they've chatted in email before.  It's really hard to coordinate multiple schedules, so back in late november, I asked them if they were free mid-january to go dress hunting.... after holiday stuff, but not so far away.  they all of course replied saying it was probably the best time for them, and so i made the appointments at the dress shops.  we clearly discussed that it was going to be a full day of shopping, lunch, drinks, fun stuff. 

The shopping day came and I was so excited to have everyone in the same area only, my cousin arrived at the first shop half hour late, and we were almost done by the time she came.  She tried on 2 dresses, one that i CLEARLY loved and said she hated both of them.  UGH A-line dresses are SOOOOO boring, and then she BAILED.  She left to go to a "birthday party" and when i commented to her that ya know, we had these plans for like a month and a half, she said "oh, well i'm so busy, you're LUCKY i even came at all!!!"

I was totally mortified, so I texted her later asking her to grab a drink with me, since I wanted to see what was up.  She asked if I was mad, and now she's telling me that I'm so petty for being upset with her for ditching and how dare I be offended, and she was SO supportive at that shop, the whole thing is childish and she couldn't believe she was having this conversation.  meanwhile, I only replied that yes, i was upset.  I didn't vent or rant, but said i wanted to talk to her in person to discuss it, and she REFUSES to make plans to get drinks since she KNOWS she won't enjoy herself and what's the point. 

I am at a total loss as to what I should do here.  I feel like she's not committed to being where I need her to be now, so what will it be like when I'm way more stressed out later?  I can't even get her in the same room, now, it seems.   I want to tell her that if she's so busy, maybe she just doesn't have time for the wedding and offer her an out?  I know it's tacky to ask her to step down, but I just can't see dealing with her for the next year, and I don't think I can rely on her to even find a freakin dress.  Help?
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