"Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??

MelissaJasonWedding13

Problem Solved. We've decided to have my FI's sister's stand up on his side and my other 2 girls with me.

Good luck to you all. I truly hope you get the wedding you a dreaming of.

AddieCake

There is no such thing as an "honorary" bridesmaid. A person either is or is not a bridesmaid. 

Your fiance didn't have to add a groomsman; uneven sides are fine. 

Personal attendants?  Are you a celebrity?  Are you paying these women to work for you?  I hope so b/c personal attendant is a job, not an honor. If you want to include his sisters in the wedding, they can stand on his side, be actual bridesmaids on your side (without asking your old roomies to "step down"), sing, or be readers. Everything else is just a job. 

daveANDkristen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:96e9edb9-7c3e-4086-9202-31c95a34cad9">"Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]So, I'm been doing research on the title "Honorary Bridesmaid", but I'm not convinced. Basically, everything I've read is that it's a made-up, cop-out, pitty title, and that you're better off making them a Bridesmaid or leaving them as a guest.  Here's my dilemma; I have 5 girls standing up with me (2 sisters, 2 college room mates, 1 high school BF). We were at 4, but then I couldn't make the cut and my fiance had to add a groomsman. My fiance also has 2 sister. I love them both, and I'm thrilled to have them as my sisters-in-law. I can't favor one, so they need to have the same title. A few weeks ago I made the decision I would have them be Personal Attendants with my other 2 close friends I had already decided on. His sisters have both shown a lot of interest in being involved! One sister actually does flower arrangements so she'll also be our florist!  The more I think about, the more I want them to have a larger role in the wedding. I even considered asking my 2 college room mates if they would mind taking an "Honorary" title so that my new sisters-in-law could stand up for the wedding (I have a feeling they would be completely understanding) but I feel crumby about asking them to 'step down'. So, I thought I could up-grade the sisters from PA's to Honorary Bridesmaids. They would be involved, just the same as a bridesmaid, they are coming to try on wedding dresses with me, they'd wear the colors, be escorted in during the procession, only they would have a seat in the front instead of standing. <strong>Does that really sound so terrible</strong>?! I need help . . . 
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

It sounds like your intentions are good, but yes, your research is correct.  There is no reason why these girls cannot be just plain bridesmaids.  You and your FI do not need to have equal numbers of people in your WP.  You can have 7 BMs and he can have 5 GMs.  Few people will notice, and no one will care.  If you really don't want to make them full-fledged bridesmaids, maybe you could ask them to do readings.  They could still match the WP (if they wish) and process into the ceremony, but a reader is an actual thing and an honorary bridesmaid is not.

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:273226af-068e-4ce7-8107-f3f3fcd491a9">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no such thing as an "honorary" bridesmaid. A person either is or is not a bridesmaid.  Your fiance didn't have to add a groomsman; uneven sides are fine.  Personal attendants?  Are you a celebrity?  Are you paying these women to work for you?  I hope so b/c personal attendant is a job, not an honor. If you want to include his sisters in the wedding, they can stand on his side, be actual bridesmaids on your side, sing, or be readers. Everything else is just a job. 
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Not a celebrity, I just have really great, close friends that I want to be a part of our day! My PA's consist of the only girl in the wedding party that lives in the same city as me (so helping a lot with the wedding!) and my other BF from high school.</div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:9905bf0f-97e6-4848-9822-edc5d1d5aa98">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Not a celebrity, I just have really great, close friends that I want to be a part of our day! My PA's consist of the only girl in the wedding party that lives in the same city as me (so helping a lot with the wedding!) and my other BF from high school.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

<div>That's my point. If they are great friends, why would you saddle them with a crap job? </div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:e8e306e4-e70d-48b7-9b37-00fa189a1be0">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]Guest is an honor. If you want to include people there are three acceptable ways: guest, reader, or member of the wedding party. Do not worry about even sides or made up roles. No one wants to be your personal attendant (you are paying your venue to provide waitstaff for this already) or babysit the guestbook. You can't demote your bridesmaids, it would be terribly hurtful, and if I was the demoted bridesmaid, I'd drop out of the wedding and stop taking your calls. It is nice that you want everyone to be involved, but watching the ceremony, eating, drinking, and dancing are plenty involving.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

<div>No wait staff-- the ceremony and reception is at our vineyard and barn. I'm surprised everyone is so anti-PA. I been one and had several friends that have had that role, and we all love it! Just to clarify- I'm defining that role as the girls helping me while the rest of the wedding party is prepping for the ceremony. The FI sisters were thrilled when I first asked them to be PA's, but now I'd like to have them in a bigger role.</div>

GoodLuckBear14

The only time honorary BMs are acceptable is when the person is deployed, in the hospital, deathly ill or dead.

renegade gaucho

Have you actually been diagnosed with OCD?

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:9905bf0f-97e6-4848-9822-edc5d1d5aa98">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Not a celebrity, I just have really great, close friends that I want to be a part of our day! <strong>My PA's</strong> consist of the only girl in the wedding party that lives in the same city as me (so helping a lot with the wedding!) and my other BF from high school.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

You are seriously having a b*tch for the day also?  This is not good.

Maggie0829

The only time "honorary" should be used is if your BMs are dead.  Other then that they should just be BM.

As for your FOUR personal assistants.  Are you insane?  What they hell do you need four PAs (read as brides b$tch) for?

There are three ways to include people in your wedding day.  Those are 1) a bridesmaid 2) a reader (or something similar like sing a song or play an instrument) and 3) a guest.  Anything else are crap jobs that certainly don't honor the person by making them work on your wedding day.

And on top of everything you want to "demote" two of your BMs just so that your FSIL can stand up instead.  Here is a novel idea, why not just ask your FSILs to be BMs and then they and your two college friends and all stand up with you.  Sides do not have to be even.

You really need to rethink a few things because you are going to hurt some peoples feelings with your ideas.  They may not tell you that they are upset but trust me being the bride's b$tch for the day is not a job anyone wants unless they are getting paid.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:9613575e-54cf-4e6d-8204-d5893e6f57a0">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : No wait staff-- the ceremony and reception is at our vineyard and barn. I'm surprised everyone is so anti-PA. I been one and had several friends that have had that role, and we all love it! Just to clarify- <strong>I'm defining that role as the girls helping me while the rest of the wedding party is prepping for the ceremony</strong>. The FI sisters were thrilled when I first asked them to be PA's, but now I'd like to have them in a bigger role.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

Helping you with what exactly?  Are you expecting both your arms and legs to be broken on your wedding day that you won't be able to get your own glass of water or put on your own damn shoes?

jemmini6

You're research is correct, "honorary" bridesmaids (and PAs for that matter) really are 'that bad'.  Either make them a bridesmaid, or let them be just guests (they can still hang out with you and get ready with all the girls if you want).  If you don't want to make them bridesmaids, perhaps you can ask them to do a reading during the ceremony, or a toast during the reception.  Other than that though, any other title seems like a sorry consolation prize that says "I sort of like you, but not enough to give you a real title, so here's a gold star for participation".

Really though, too many people overthink this when they have people they want to include.  "Guest" is an honor too.  I'm sure they know that you value your friendship, so it's really not necessary to make up titles to appease everyone.

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:3df6f2ad-1618-4f4b-96ad-89c708985214">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]You're research is correct, "honorary" bridesmaids (and PAs for that matter) really are 'that bad'.  Either make them a bridesmaid, or let them be just guests (they can still hang out with you and get ready with all the girls if you want).  If you don't want to make them bridesmaids, perhaps you can ask them to do a reading during the ceremony, or a toast during the reception.  Other than that though, any other title seems like a sorry consolation prize that says "I sort of like you, but not enough to give you a real title, so here's a gold star for participation". Really though, too many people overthink this when they have people they want to include.  "Guest" is an honor too.  I'm sure they know that you value your friendship, so it's really not necessary to make up titles to appease everyone.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful response. We've asked the sisters to read, but both are nervous about the idea. . . </div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:66a3d183-fced-455f-8e88-05f1ad95f37e">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Oh no, she's having FOUR b*tches for the day.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
 <div>Can you go be rude somewhere else? This is a very important matter to me.</div>

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:9613575e-54cf-4e6d-8204-d5893e6f57a0">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : No wait staff-- the ceremony and reception is at our vineyard and barn. I'm surprised everyone is so anti-PA. I been one and had several friends that have had that role, and we all love it! Just to clarify- I'm defining that role as the girls helping me while the rest of the wedding party is prepping for the ceremony. The FI sisters were thrilled when I first asked them to be PA's, but now I'd like to have them in a bigger role.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

So wait, you've already asked two of your good friends/woman that lives in the same town as you to be a PA, and already your FSILs?  So you are going to have 4 PAs?!  No.  That is ridiculous!  There is nothing wrong with uneven sides and don't throw around OCD because that will offend some people.

FWIW, I've been a PA before and although I was slightly honored before the wedding, I realized the day of, it meant running around doing errands or coordinating for the bride.  Not so fun or honorable.  The thing that made it bearable was that my best friend was asked too, so at least we got to run errands together.  Please don't make your friends do this.  You know what is more fun than "helping" your friend, which you have BMs to help you go to the bathroom and should be paying someone to do other things, it is to actually enjoy the wedding you are invited to.  Watching it from a seat, not rushing in at the end of the processional, getting to experience the cocktail hour instead of running around, etc.

ETA: I know in the excitement of planning a wedding you feel that you need to include everyone and that is where these made up roles are created, but step back and think of how much this would really "honor" your SFILs.  It won't.  Let them come as a guest and enjoy themselves.  If they can do a reading, fantastic!  Include them while you are getting ready, lovely bonding time.  But don't give them a made up role....you might hate for them to realize, as I did, how much of a crap "role" it was.

renegade gaucho

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:4c110080-bc64-4759-93e6-b9b31f25b9f8">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you actually been diagnosed with OCD?
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

No answer, huh?

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:0eacde8c-5469-452a-b22c-bfe2feb71244">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : No answer, huh?
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

<div>I've responded to you privately. I would appreciate comments that pertain to the subject.</div>

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:db95536d-35cf-4614-8c4e-ed670c2c510e">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : I've responded to you privately. I would appreciate comments that pertain to the subject.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

This is a public forum so you cannot dictate how people respond to you.

lls31

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:69e65924-3e15-4c45-9d4b-68a1c2f243e3">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? :   Can you go be rude somewhere else? This is a very important matter to me.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

<div>Calling a woman an "honorary bridesmaid" or a "personal attendant" is condescending and rude.  PPs calling you out on this out is not rude - it's helpful.</div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:378f6d51-4eae-4191-91df-a62a7f15b809">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Calling a woman an "honorary bridesmaid" or a "personal attendant" is condescending and rude.  PPs calling you out on this out is not rude - it's helpful.
Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]

<div>I didn't think her opinion was rude, I thought her choice of words was rude. I appreciate the input. I don't see these titles as conceded or rude, I'm honored when a friend asks me to participate in any manner. However, if most people see these titles as me on some kind of power trip then I'll have to rethink my strategy since my goal is only to include my closest friends and family during our wedding.</div>

TT Bride 13

Wow some people are.....just wow. Anyway, I totally agree with the uneven sides thing, I am not OCD but that would bug me also. Have them do a reading. I don't think being a PA would be an honor either. I would feel like, for lack of a better word, a servant. Being a guest is an honor, but if you want them to feel more included, I think being a reader is a great way to do it.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:59c67cb4-952d-442f-8a25-ccce26916501">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : I didn't think her opinion was rude, I thought her choice of words was rude. I appreciate the input. I don't see these titles as conceded or rude, I'm honored when a friend asks me to participate in any manner. However, if most people see these titles as me on some kind of power trip then I'll have to rethink my strategy since my goal is only to include my closest friends and family during our wedding.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

I think you should throw the numbers out the window.  7 BMs is not too many if all of them mean a great deal to you.  Honestly, are you going to let uneven sides dictate who and who can't be in the wedding when all 7 mean the world to you?  You won't even notice when you are up at the alter getting married that there are 2 additional women on your side.  I promise.

Ask them all to be BMs.  By doing this your problems are solved and everyone is included equally.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:be8e2127-e8d8-4770-acaf-347feec7b4bb">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow some people are.....just wow. Anyway, <strong>I totally agree with the uneven sides thing, I am not OCD but that would bug me also</strong>. Have them do a reading. I don't think being a PA would be an honor either. I would feel like, for lack of a better word, a servant. Being a guest is an honor, but if you want them to feel more included, I think being a reader is a great way to do it.
Posted by TT Bride 13[/QUOTE]

Why?  Why would it bug you?  I am not trying to be snotty I am really trying to understand why this is such an issue for so many brides.

Maggie0829

OP, I PM'd you back.

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:ac2078bf-6c44-4562-ac43-f33377ab3993">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, look at the title of your post ... "Is it really THAT bad??" When it comes to how you interact with future SILs, I don't know if I would take the approach that would leave me asking "is it really THAT bad??" Think of it this way.... Would you want FI to propose to you with a ring that, when he bought it, thought "is it really THAT bad??" Would you want the woman doing dress alterations to look at the fnished product of your dress and ask "is it really THAT bad??" Would you want the person decorating your cake to look at the fondant before bringing it to your reception and think "is it really THAT bad??" Chances are, you might not be too thrilled with what you get if someone were to ask him/herself "is it really THAT bad??"  Likewise, your FSILs probably won't be too thrilled about being a PA or honorary bridesmaid.  I suggest you take one of the following options: 1.  Ask your FSILs to be bridesmaids.  You won't have even sides, and that's completely okay. 2.  Let your FSIL work as your florist (and please still pay her accordingly unless she offers her services as a gift) and invite them to be a part of preparing for the special days as they want to.  Give them a corsage and perhaps have them escorted before the mothers are seated. 
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks for the thoughtful response! And, no, I don't think there is anything wrong with the title! I guess I would be honored  . . . I just know it's got a stigma of being lame, so I thought I'd explain myself and see the reaction. Consensus is; apparently I'm incredibly rude and conceded to look for alternative ways to include people! But seriously, good advice. This is basically what I wanted them to do and "honorary" was the only title I could think of to differentiate them from guest . . . </div>

TT Bride 13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:01727d7e-e40c-48d8-be3a-76b0e8fec0c3">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Why?  Why would it bug you?  I am not trying to be snotty I am really trying to understand why this is such an issue for so many brides.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I don't know. It is fine for other people's weddings I would just feel like mine is mismatched or unorganized or something. I know it doesn't really make sense but it would really just bug me.

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:be8e2127-e8d8-4770-acaf-347feec7b4bb">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow some people are.....just wow. Anyway, I totally agree with the uneven sides thing, I am not OCD but that would bug me also. Have them do a reading. I don't think being a PA would be an honor either. I would feel like, for lack of a better word, a servant. Being a guest is an honor, but if you want them to feel more included, I think being a reader is a great way to do it.
Posted by TT Bride 13[/QUOTE]

<div>I can not tell you how much I appreciate this comment. It looks like a reading might be the best way to go-- as long as they are comfortable with it! Thank you!</div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:f11689bd-2a32-4b51-9596-a02d23677ad1">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : I don't know. It is fine for other people's weddings I would just feel like mine is mismatched or unorganized or something. I know it doesn't really make sense but it would really just bug me.
Posted by TT Bride 13[/QUOTE]

<div>Absolutely. I'm an architect. Order and symetry are in my blood. I've been to uneven weddings and I feel so . . . off.</div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:affda589-bd93-42b2-af5a-b52bb0db6b8b">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : Absolutely. I'm an architect. Order and symetry are in my blood. I've been to uneven weddings and I feel so . . . off.
Posted by MelissaJasonWedding13[/QUOTE]

<div>My sig pic must be driving some of you gals crazy then. Uneven sides AND mixed gender WP?! We also had a ring bearer but no flower girl. Woah!</div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:ee6d7aa9-7702-4a60-bbe2-946c8b427594">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : I think you should throw the numbers out the window.  7 BMs is not too many if all of them mean a great deal to you.  Honestly, are you going to let uneven sides dictate who and who can't be in the wedding when all 7 mean the world to you?  You won't even notice when you are up at the alter getting married that there are 2 additional women on your side.  I promise. Ask them all to be BMs.  By doing this your problems are solved and everyone is included equally.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>That would make everything so easy! If it wouldn't drive me crazy I definitely would!</div>

MelissaJasonWedding13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_honorary-bridesmaid-is-it-really-that-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ead6e2a0-f2c4-4d50-9d93-f5ebc76e0d83Post:c860ddb5-184d-4c06-9435-e17a6ec15981">Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: "Honorary Bridesmaid" Is it really THAT bad?? : My sig pic must be driving some of you gals crazy then. Uneven sides AND mixed gender WP?! We also had a ring bearer but no flower girl. Woah!
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

<div>To each her own. Looks like you had a great group of people around you!</div>