Bridesmaid fighting help!

metsfan5

My younger sister who is 19 is my maid of honor and I have 6 other bridesmaids 2 are on my fiancee and one of them is the type of person who is very out going and says whatever she wants. i pick her to be in the party cause my fiancee and her are close and she has made me feel like family the most. well my MOH is planing the shower with all the girls and the gift is pricey so my MOH asked the groomsmen to go in on the gift too. well the gift is a gift and me and my fiancee should not knopw anything or have anything to do with it but his family is coming to him tell him they dont want to do it but telling my sister ok.

well last night we got a text from one of the groomsmen wife (who is not even in the wedding) saying my sister is annoying and is leaving a bad taste in his family.  Then I go on facebook and I see the BM had posted something about my sister without saying my sisters name but you know its about her and come to find out that my mother in law is going to pay for all of the side half of the gift. and thats not fair to her.

I dont want to say anything to the party but my feelings are hurt with how the two girls are acting and im not sure what to do.

adivce please!

AddieCake

If your fiance is close with his sister, he should have asked her to stand on his side. You were not obligated to include her on your side unless you want her. Is the shower a couples shower?  If not, it seems odd to ask the groomsmen to contribute. Your fiance should handle his sister talking about your sister. 

GoodLuckBear14

Your MOH should have asked the BMs if they wanted to go in a gift and then privately asked each of them what they could afford to contribute.  I don't blame the ones who are complaining and saying privately that they are uncomfortable.

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-fighting-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ebd0990a-3bba-4bab-a07b-5c7df54ab30dPost:1c7aa330-c90d-40af-a6a9-400d1dd08cb4">Bridesmaid fighting help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My younger sister who is 19 is my maid of honor and I have 6 other bridesmaids 2 are on my fiancee and one of them is the type of person who is very out going and says whatever she wants. i pick her to be in the party cause my fiancee and her are close and she has made me feel like family the most. well my MOH is planing the shower with all the girls and the gift is pricey so my MOH asked the groomsmen to go in on the gift too. well the gift is a gift and me and my fiancee should not knopw anything or have anything to do with it but his family is coming to him tell him they dont want to do it but telling my sister ok. well last night we got a text from one of the groomsmen wife (who is not even in the wedding) saying my sister is annoying and is leaving a bad taste in his family.  Then I go on facebook and I see the BM had posted something about my sister without saying my sisters name but you know its about her and come to find out that my mother in law is going to pay for all of the side half of the gift. and thats not fair to her. I dont want to say anything to the party but my feelings are hurt with how the two girls are acting and im not sure what to do. adivce please!
Posted by metsfan5[/QUOTE]

Your post is truly incoherent. I think I (maybe???) get what you're trying to say.

Ugghh.

Your sister is 19 and that is really young. She might not know that she's imposing. There are no requirements for the bridal party members besides showing up on your wedding day in their bridal party attire.

Talk to your sister privately.

"Sister, thank you for all you've done for the shower and wedding. I think you might be getting a bit too demanding on the other bridesmaids and groomsmen, so please don't worry yourself about ____ anymore. FI & I will handle everything else and we want you to enjoy being in the wedding"

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-fighting-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ebd0990a-3bba-4bab-a07b-5c7df54ab30dPost:1c7aa330-c90d-40af-a6a9-400d1dd08cb4">Bridesmaid fighting help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My younger sister who is 19 is my maid of honor and I have 6 other bridesmaids <strong>2 are on my fiancee </strong>and one of them is the type of person who is very out going and says whatever she wants. i pick her to be in the party cause my fiancee and her are close and she has made me feel like family the most. well my MOH is planing the shower with all the girls and the gift is pricey so my MOH asked the groomsmen to go in on the gift too. well the gift is a gift and me and my fiancee should not knopw anything or have anything to do with it but his family is coming to him tell him they dont want to do it but telling my sister ok. well last night we got a text from one of the groomsmen wife (who is not even in the wedding) saying my sister is annoying and is leaving a bad taste in his family.  Then I go on facebook and I see the BM had posted something about my sister without saying my sisters name but you know its about her and come to find out that my mother in law is going to pay for all of the side half of the gift. and thats not fair to her. I dont want to say anything to the party but my feelings are hurt with how the two girls are acting and im not sure what to do. adivce please!
Posted by metsfan5[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I tried to read this but couldn't get past the bolded. If this is true, that 2 are "on your fiancee", then I think you have bigger problems.</div><div>
</div><div>But ditto PPs.

</div>

daveANDkristen

I had trouble understanding your OP as well.  Are you saying that you have 6 BMs, 2 of whom are relatives of your FI?  If so, I agree with PP that she should have been on your FI's side, as a groomswoman. 

To your question... No one, WP or not, is required to give you a gift of any amount.  I agree with itzMS that you should have a talk with your sister.  She should not be telling anyone how much to pony up for a gift they have not offered to contribute to.  Tell her that you appreciate her enthusiasm, but you don't want anyone feeling pressured to contribute to gifts/parties.  The comments made by the BM and the GM's wife are perhaps immature, but I can understand their frustration.  If anyone complains to you or your FI directly about the demands your sister is making, I would assure them that you will speak with her and tell them that they are welcome to ignore your sister's demands.

Jen4948

I think you need to tell your sister, "Sis, I'm hearing from others in the wedding party that they're not comfortable with your requests.  They're not required to contribute for your parties or gifts just because they're wedding party members.  I appreciate your wanting to give us a nice party and a gift, but we need you to back off and just contribute your own time and money without making demands on the other wedding party members."

metsfan5

sorry everyone for being missunderstood.

the MOH is not the only one planning the party all the birdesmaids are in on it. and with the gift my sister put out the idea and asked if you would like to be part of it and every one said it was a good idea and all of them had said yes its a good idea and but ones groomsman told her no.
my FI family went behind her saying they didnt want to do it so how would she know?

other then that
im just worried when it comes to the wedding there will be looks and remarks
i hope everything just works out!