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KellyLynne3087

 

saxy414

It doesn't matter who's been planning their wedding longer.  It's great that he wants to be a friend to the other couple and BM to you two.  I'm assuming he's over the age of 13 and has at least been to another wedding, so he'll be fine without rehearsal (or, just tell him to take notes on what the BM does in the Vegas wedding...).

So dont' worry about it, and trust that he'll be a responsible adult and make it.  And ditto Tide on the snow--that's the chance you take with a winter wedding. 

suz62984

You do nothing. He is a big boy and can plan his life, and his trips, as he sees fit. It doesn't make him less of a Best Man by going out of town. I don't know what the "snow"thing has to do with anything since you said you are planning your wedding for July 2010. Also, if he books now there shouldn't be problems with getting back in time. If for some crazy reason he doesn't make it back for the rehearsal than oh well; the rehearsal is not a huge thing. Just trust that he is a big boy and responsible enough to take a trip all by himself; don't micro-manage and sweet the small stuff.

saxy414

Suz, I had to read that a couple times to figure out...I think it was a typo.  Maybe they've been planning since July 2009, but she says later in the post her wedding is January 1st. 

Or maybe she's having a time traveler's wedding, so she's posting because she already knows Detroit is going to have a freak snowstorm in July this year...hmm. :-) 

xoxob

Wait...you're getting married in Januray and July? That is so cool, can I rent your time machine? or your bi-lateral universe splitter?

Anyway. If he is going to Vegas before your July 2010 wedding or your January 1 2011 wedding, it doesn't matter. He is going to try his damnedest to get to the church on time and you need to trust that he wants to be there for you. Trust.

emilyinchile

You do nothing. FWIW, there was an 8.8 earthquake one week before my wedding. The airport was closed until two days before, and I didn't know if anyone would make it from the US. My godmother and her family got their flight canceled and ended up missing my wedding. It sucked, but there was nothing any of us could do about it. And that's with them having purposely scheduled flights that got them in with enough time to deal with any delays!

Basically, unless you ban any of your wedding guests from traveling, eating anything potentially contaminated, getting into contact with any germs or moving in a way that might injure them, there is always the chance that something could go wrong and make someone - even your FBIL/BM - miss the wedding. You can't control those things, so you just have to let it go and hope everyone makes it. If your FBIL is planning to be back 3 days before your wedding, that would give him enough time to drive there if worst came to worst and the airport was totally shut down.

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ecd01a1e-1f3d-43c0-8d68-11edcf63215cPost:cb2e8c85-2008-4189-871f-2f2982eb87a0">Re: Best Man Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Suz, I had to read that a couple times to figure out...I think it was a typo.  Maybe they've been planning since July 200 9 , but she says later in the post her wedding is January 1st.  Or maybe she's having a time traveler's wedding, so she's posting because she already knows Detroit is going to have a freak snowstorm in July this year...hmm. :-) 
Posted by saxy414[/QUOTE]

I had to re-read. I guess she has been planning since July(which has nothing to do with this problem) and she's getting married Jan 1st. Yeah Detroit sees a pretty good amount of snow but she is freaking out about something she knows nothing about yet. And as for the wedding he is going too. Who plans their wedding on Christmas???

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ecd01a1e-1f3d-43c0-8d68-11edcf63215cPost:b7252d42-ae70-4858-ad9b-04e4b43d50e3">Re: Best Man Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Man Issues : I had to re-read. I guess she has been planning since July(which has nothing to do with this problem) and she's getting married Jan 1st. Yeah Detroit sees a pretty good amount of snow but she is freaking out about something she knows nothing about yet. And as for the wedding he is going too. Who plans their wedding on Christmas???
Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

Jews?

megk8oz

I got married on January 1st this year, and on December 29th, I had reasons to believe our Best Man wasn't showing.

And unlike the noble cause of attending another wedding (Which really, he has every right to attend if he wants to), in our case he was convinced the laws of time and space personally did not apply to him and his psychotic FI, but that's another story for another day (Cliffs Notes: He truly believed that he could make a 20 hour car trip in like 8 hours).

Sure, I was a little mad at the time, but after a glass of wine I quickly got over it. And it turned out, somebody must have explained the meaning of "impossible" to him, because he wound up re-arranging his plans and he (And his BSC FI) showed up dressed and ready day of with time to spare. If he didn't make it, he didn't make it, there wasn't anything we could do about it but go about our day and have a good time (And deal with whether or not we were upset with him after the HM).

Basically, chill out. Its really not a big deal if he misses the rehearsal, because there's not that much for him to "rehearse". For the Best Man it seriously boils down to "walk in straight line. Hand Groom wedding ring when asked to. Escort MOH in recessional" (Which also is just "walk in straight line"). If he misses the actual wedding, then yes, you can be upset, but it's not something you should consider your day ruined over.

gottahavashorti

I don't think there's a best man problem.  Another wedding three days before the rehearsal dinner definitely isn't cutting it close.  Flying in the day before (or day of) the rehearsal dinner isn't at all unusual.  If his flight the day before the rehearsal dinner is cancelled, he still has the day of the rehearsal and the morning of the wedding to fly in without missing the wedding. 

One of FI and my closest friends was trying to figure out if he could attend both our wedding and his cousin's the same day.  He was so upset when he realized they were the same day, and if they weren't 3 hours apart and his cousin didn't have a small gap, he absolutely would have gone to both.

Having flights cancelled is a big risk you take by having a wedding in the middle of winter in a snowy area with OOT guests.  There's no way you could expect people to take so much time off from work to make sure they will be at the wedding in the event of snow.

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_man-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:ecd01a1e-1f3d-43c0-8d68-11edcf63215cPost:d9c40905-2464-47ec-af5d-04f417ef3161">Re: Best Man Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]But Licia, this guy hasn't missed anything! Being disappointed over this now is like me crying because we might have another earthquake and I might miss my trip to the US and then I might not be able to get more vacation time and then I might never see my friends at home again and then I might get depressed because of that and then I might kill myself. Crap, I should probably start planning my funeral because clearly all of that is totally going to happen.
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

LMAO - I love you emily

duckie1905

On of DH's GMs got arrested after the RD.

Was it upsetting that he was in jail for our wedding?  Yes.  Did it upset DH that he was such a moron and instead of just staying and drinking with us he decided to drive home and get a DUI (and be involved in a car chase)?  Yes.  Did anyone except the immediate family and the WP even notice that anyone was missing?  No.

At the end of the day it made little difference that he wasn't there aside from the disappointment. 

It will be disappointing if he can't make the wedding.  But, shiz happens and he has every right to attend another wedding before yours.  If he doesn't make it do what you can and move on.  You can't expect him to put his life (and not be involved in the lives of his own friends/family) just because you are getting married.

banana468

KellyLynne, it sounds like he's still TRYING to get there for the RD and only you're afraid that he might not be able to make it.

Things happen - but you can't put a moratorium on BP travel up to a certain amount of days before your wedding.  You'll come off as WAY too controlling - and then you risk the BM not wanting to be there at all.

BTW, how does your FI even feel?  Most guys are pretty cool to just roll with the punches.

Being a good bride means being understanding as well.  It also means a glass of wine and a warm bath when you freak out over stuff like this.  As long as the groom is there, you have nothing to worry about.

gottahavashorti

Coming the day before the rehearsal and not the day of the rehearsal, he's already giving himself extra time.  You can't expect the WP to fly in several days in advance of the wedding just in case a flight is delayed.  He's doing what he can, and weddings trump rehearsal dinners.  And again, if snow is a big worry, don't have a Michigan wedding in the middle of winter.

MyNameIsNot

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read.

You are upset at the BM for taking a trip and returning 2 days before your wedding?  Seriously?  WTF?

Most of our WP was from OOT.  Most of them got in on the day of the rehearsal.  It was fine.  If they'd come in on the wedding day, it would have been fine.  This is common for most people.  

You get one day.  Not the whole week.  FFS.  

stina93446

I love how you DDed. Now you look like a baby.

emilyinchile

Honestly, this post was on the ridiculous end of things to begin with, and the DD - which always implies to me that the OP has not taken any of the advice offers - makes me worried that there are humans who really think they can tell other people when to travel.

stina93446

Exactly, Emily. This girl needs to lighten up and trust that her FBIL is a responsible adult.

annmarie2178

Hmm, my first thought to this post..(thanks for the quote by the way, since I am a little behind) Don't most airports in MI realize they get snow in the winter? And also, don't you think that by NOW, they have figured out what to do when it snows to keep the flights coming in and going out?  Because seriously, if they haven't, they'll be shutting down pretty soon, unless of course they have a money tree.   

Which, I would like to note, I have not found ANYwhere yet, but I want to register for one...so any help on that is appreciated, and yes I did Google it already.  NOT exactly what I was looking for.