Ushers there 2 hours before wedding??

jemmini6

So my FI is an usher in a wedding coming up (he was originally a GM, but got demoted...long story).  Anyways, he still has to wear a tux and the groom still wants him to show up at 2PM for a 4PM ceremony to take pictures, even though as an usher, he's probably only going to be in like 2 pictures.

I just found this odd that he wants him to be there that early.  Normally not a problem, but I'm going to have to drop him off (FI's car is in the shop getting fixed), come home, wait for 2 hours, then go back for the wedding.  It's still not a huge problem, just really odd I think.

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ushers-there-2-hours-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f56471ce-e714-4ce4-b3cc-3358540f7429Post:1b52c16b-c57d-4e0f-9885-6ea7c1ee539e">Ushers there 2 hours before wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FI is an usher in a wedding coming up (he was originally a GM, but got demoted...long story).  Anyways, he still has to wear a tux and the groom still wants him to show up at 2PM for a 4PM ceremony to take pictures, even though as an usher, he's probably only going to be in like 2 pictures. I just found this odd that he wants him to be there that early.  Normally not a problem, but I'm going to have to drop him off (FI's car is in the shop getting fixed), come home, wait for 2 hours, then go back for the wedding.  It's still not a huge problem, just really odd I think.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
Your FI got demoted and he's still doing all of that?  Wow.

It's ridiculous that
1) they demoted him in the first place.
2) they're asking all of that of an usher.

Beachy730

Ditto lalap.  I don't even understand the purpose of ushers.  That role to me is right up there with guest book attendants.

I would have him ask the groom if it's possible he get there maybe an hour before.  That way you could just stay in the area and go grab a coffee or something. 

Manwaithiel

"I'm sorry, but we won't be able to make it there that early due to car troubles. We'll be 30 minutes before so I can start seating guests." -Your FI.

jemmini6

Yeah, the whole demotion thing was ridiculous and FI's patience is wearing thin with his friend.  The funniest part is the groom told FI he asked around to make sure he 'wasn't out of line for demoting him' (due to FI not being able to make his bachelor party and needing the leave the reception early, both for work reasons).  Regardless, he's still trying to maintain the friendship, mostly because of their mutual friends.

But anyways, FI normally has to work on Saturdays anyways (ended up switching Saturday for Sunday for the wedding), so maybe he should just tell the groom that he's still working on Saturday, but can't leave until 2PM that day, so he'll get there when he gets off?  I dunno, normally I'd feel bad about lying, but the whole situation is getting ridiculous and I don't think he needs to be there that early.

Edit:  to answer the previous question, no they aren't going to different locations.  The wedding and reception is at the same venue.

bablingbrooke

2 hours is ridiculous.  Was he seriously demoted for having to leave his bach party early?  I might call the morning of the wedding saying that I wasn't feeling well...but that's my evil twin writing that.

Beachy730

Clearly he asked around to the wrong people. 

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ushers-there-2-hours-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f56471ce-e714-4ce4-b3cc-3358540f7429Post:6c5e5e9c-771d-4238-8917-1125158a6a41">Re: Ushers there 2 hours before wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]Clearly he asked around to the wrong people. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Which is exactly why I'm not concerned about them reading this.  FI joked that I should email him the link to the etiquette board on here. LOL

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ushers-there-2-hours-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f56471ce-e714-4ce4-b3cc-3358540f7429Post:3ee770d3-185d-4d1c-bfee-a615258d7804">Re: Ushers there 2 hours before wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, the whole demotion thing was ridiculous and FI's patience is wearing thin with his friend.  The funniest part is the groom told FI he asked around to make sure he 'wasn't out of line for demoting him' (due to FI not being able to make his bachelor party and needing the leave the reception early, both for work reasons).  Regardless, he's still trying to maintain the friendship, mostly because of their mutual friends. But anyways, FI normally has to work on Saturdays anyways (ended up switching Saturday for Sunday for the wedding), so maybe he should just tell the groom that he's still working on Saturday, but can't leave until 2PM that day, so he'll get there when he gets off?  I dunno, normally I'd feel bad about lying, but the whole situation is getting ridiculous and I don't think he needs to be there that early. Edit:  to answer the previous question, no they aren't going to different locations.  The wedding and reception is at the same venue.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I would say that you just can't make it that early.  I don't think you should grossly inconvenience yourselves for a guy who was a jerk and demoted your FI.  To seat guests he needs to be there an hour early at the most.  And I don't see why he has to show up 2 hours early to be in pictures when he's not going to be in that many.

stina93446

I'd tell the "happy couple" that he'll be there 30 minutes before the whole thing goes down. I can't believe they demoted him.

aerinpegadrak

I would find out what time they're planning on taking pictures until (they may have built in some padding in case pictures run long, or they might need to clear out of the sanctuary before guests start arriving), and then plan on arriving for the last 10-15 minutes.  That way they still get some pictures with him, but he doesn't have to sit around the whole time.

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ushers-there-2-hours-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f56471ce-e714-4ce4-b3cc-3358540f7429Post:b669c486-9486-468e-b3c8-59abaad40a63">Re: Ushers there 2 hours before wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]I would find out what time they're planning on taking pictures until (they may have built in some padding in case pictures run long, or they might need to clear out of the sanctuary before guests start arriving), and then plan on arriving for the last 10-15 minutes.  That way they still get some pictures with him, but he doesn't have to sit around the whole time.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I definitely agree with this. It's absolutely ridiculous and your FI sounds like a stand up guy to still go through this after his "demotion" (which is ridiculous in itself).

deepcovejackie

Yeah, none of that sounds good at all.  I'd have none of it if I was your FI.  I think he should say, "no I can't be there at that time, (no excuse needed)  I'll be there at (your preferred time).  Maybe he'll get demoted from usher!!  God.

graysquirrel

I might use the work excuse in this situation. 2 hours is absurd, especially for this jerky groom.