Flower Girl in a wheelchair

AmyDose

I have the distinct honor to have my future sister in law as my flower girl. She's the most beautiful, bubbly and happiest 17 year old girl I've ever met. She also was born with cerebral palsy, making her unable to speak and is wheelchair bound. Those details don't matter to me. She has become a big part of my life in only the best ways. I can't imagine life without her and having her not be a part of my big day is not an option in my eyes.

I wanted to see if anyone out there has/had a bridesmaid or flower girl, or was even a bride in a wheelchair. I would love to hear some great ideas for pictures and ways we can have her shine like the star she is when she goes down he aisle.

She is not able to use her arms, so she will be pushed, most likely by the grooms parents. I've seen some great signs that say "here comes the bride!" But since she can't hold it and she'll be pushes, we can't hang it on her chair. I would love to hear suggestions or ideas that have been used in the past. We also have a groomsman in a wheelchair, who is a wounded vet. He has an amazing sense of humor about it.

Any help is greatly appreciated. Best of luck to everyone on their wedding journey!

ScrabbleAndLlamas

Are you sure that she wants to be a flower girl as opposed to a bridesmaid at 17?  I think of that as a younger girl thing.  But if she's cool with it...

Why not decorate the wheelchair with flowers?  If I was going to be in a wedding and had a wheelchair, that's what I would do.  Then, she gets to have flowers, even though she can't physically carry them.  I think the signs are cheesy, to be honest.

artbyallie

Our ringbearer was in a wheelchair because he had broken his leg a few weeks prior and was in a cast to his thigh. A bit more unplanned than your situation, granted, but it was not a problem at all.

I think you should just buy her a beautiful dress/outfit (take her shopping!) and a corsage or wristlet so she has flowers. Have her pushed down the aisle to sit beside you. I don't like the signs when carried by children, let alone a teenager (regardless of her disability) so I don't think that's a good idea here anyway.

AmyDose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-in-a-wheelchair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f6eee2fc-4474-419c-8d61-55404fbdbb9cPost:fd7d8325-7c5d-49cc-b709-f8e264d7f185">Re: Flower Girl in a wheelchair</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you sure that she wants to be a flower girl as opposed to a bridesmaid at 17?  I think of that as a younger girl thing.  But if she's cool with it... Why not decorate the wheelchair with flowers?  If I was going to be in a wedding and had a wheelchair, that's what I would do.  Then, she gets to have flowers, even though she can't physically carry them.  I think the signs are cheesy, to be honest.
Posted by woodschr[/QUOTE]



I just want to clarify that she is a flower girl by choice. She was given the title of junior bridesmaid, but she insisted on flower girl. She's not a 17 year old mentally but again, that doesn't matter to me. But I like the idea of decorating her chair. We though of perhaps using silk bunting or ribbons but I like the idea of flowers as well!

TKzilla

I would totally decorate the chair. If she's able to keep something on her wrist, maybe she could hold a pomander? Maybe braid some flowers into her hair, too.

beardownbchs

Yeah I'm with everyone on decorating her chair. You can wrap ribbons around the wheels and spokes (or whatever the part inside the wheels is called). I went to a wedding where they put streamers on the handles of grandma's wheelchair and thought that was just a teeny tiny bit odd (grandma looks pretty uncomfortable), but sounds perfect for your SIL and her personality. 

You sound like you're already doing everything you can to accommodate her which is wonderful. Forgive me as I am ignorant on the brain functionality of individuals with CP, but you could also get her makeup done if she wants so she feels included. 

AmyDose

This is not a matter of treating her differently and I'm sorry you may feel that way. Since the start of our planning we have "talked" about it everyday. She picked out her dress, her hair, her shoes and how she wants her makeup done. We discuss songs and flowers and who will be there to see her. She knows she's a very special part of this day. Ive had people tell menot in this forum it would be too much of a hassle and she shouldnt be up there at all. That's infuriating. Im so happy to have her with me and shes excited about her responsibilities. The nature of my post is simply to get some ideas from people who may have been there or can give some creative insight.

AmyDose

I suppose that was a misunderstanding on both of our ends. Just because that's how my wording made you feel, doesn't mean I wasn't sincere. I do not feel anyone who has commented this far has been insensitive in any way. And yes, by your username, I gathered that. And I do value your input.

daveANDkristen

In Response to Re:Flower Girl in a wheelchair:This is not a matter of treating her differently and I'm sorry you may feel that way. Since the start of our planning we have "talked" about it everyday. She picked out her dress, her hair, her shoes and how she wants her makeup done. We discuss songs and flowers and who will be there to see her. She knows she's a very special part of this day. Ive had people tell menot in this forum it would be too much of a hassle and she shouldnt be up there at all. That's infuriating. Im so happy to have her with me and shes excited about her responsibilities. The nature of my post is simply to get some ideas from people who may have been there or can give some creative insight. Posted by AmyDose Someone on TK actually advised you not to include your FSIL in your wedding party because of her disability? Sorry I missed that, I would have had a few words for them. If she actually wants to be a flower girl at her age and not a bridesmaid, I think PPs gave some great options. ETA: I see now that you said NOT on this forum, so never mind. I'm on mobile, formatting is screwy sometimes.

TKzilla

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-in-a-wheelchair?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f6eee2fc-4474-419c-8d61-55404fbdbb9cPost:cf2774e5-5e2e-48b4-97ef-834641b3e404">Re: Flower Girl in a wheelchair</a>:
[QUOTE]Someone deleted a prior post.  There was one on here that suggested something special needed to be done so people would "understand" she was the flower girl.  My second post meant that nobody needed to be treated in a special manner in order for anyone to "get it." If she's got flowers, people have the brains to know she's a "flower girl." It is not necessary to send me more ignorant PMs, folks. This isn't the board I moderate, but if I get any more with cursing or insults, I *will* start hitting ban buttons. (sigh...yes,, Amy Dose, I know yours didn't have cursing in it,  but another one did, and it's not the first time from that person).
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>Get 'em girl. Or better yet, get Daryl on them! ;)</div>

AmyDose

i'm sorry that emotions might've run high, everyone. this board was simply started with the best of intentions. I tried to take care in describing my situation, feelings and wishes in a way people could understand but i know it is a unique situation for those who may not have traveled the road I'm on. I am thankful for the positive responses i have received. I am also glad that retreadbride and myself were able to reach an understanding. I didnt see the deleted post. regardless, no one should've sent harsh words to her. No matter where you come from, thats uncalled for. I would like to close out this thread as it seems to have gone its full course. If anyone has any comments or questions, please reach out to me. best of luck to everyone, amy