Complaining about Color Choice!- Help

ashleysagep

Hi ladies,

I am getting married at the end of August 2011. I had picked out Tangerine Orange bridesmaid dresses. I like the idea of how fun it looks. But my two sisters that are in the wedding are complaining about the color and how they wont look good, and my mother gave me a little speech about how know ones going to be able to wear the dress again and the orange was a bit much. I love how fun and kinda different the color is but I'm feeling like I need to change the color....

What would you do? Tell them to suck it up (not literally) or change the color. I'm not completely opposed to changing just a little hurt.

Thanks
 This was the look I was going for and these are almost exactly the dresses (strapless)

banana468

Ditto Stage.

I think that color can be QUITE tough to wear.  What about picking a neutral in black or navy with a sash in tangerine?

FutureMrsBoucher

Have them try the dresses on. It's your wedding, you say what colors, but you may not like how the look in them. I agree with both Stage and Banana... if you don't like the color on them in full on dress, pick an orange accent. I agree, orange is a very fun color, and my sister plans on having that for her wedding. I'm in her WP, I have olive skin tone and know it will look awful, but it's her wedding so I'm going to keep my mouth shut, smile, wear the dress and be happy for her on her day. I'm sorry your sisters are being jerks about the color choice.

psichick

you also have about a year before you really need to worry about this. you might find something else in that year that you like better. don't stress it right now.

stina93446

Ditto Champagne. Your wedding is WAY to far away to settle on colors right now. 

And ps, we recently went to an orange wedding and when the bms came out, DH nudged me and his first thought was "they're never wearing those again." I hate orange and I would almost think my friend hated me if they made me wear it.....

megk8oz

I'm sure some of the regs are waiting for me to come out on this. I was a BM in an orange wedding. The dress was the exact same color you're looking at ... and the bane of my (And the other girls') BM existence.

The bride picked orange and yellow as her colors. She decided that the MOH would wear the yellow, the rest of the BMs would wear orange. She picked a dress that may have been flattering if it were black or a dark blue ... but in both bright colors (It was also sateen, so it was shiney), it made everybody look about 20 lbs heavier.

When a few of the BMs saw that the yellow was slightly more palatable, they tried suggesting everybody wear yellow, or maybe switch because the orange was so bright it might be "too much" (And her WP are a bit of an eyesore ... sorry, it's true). The bride, in front of all of us, said "No, my sister is the MOH, she needs to wear the yellow. Nobody actually looks good in orange".

The dress was $175, pre-alterations (Bride just picked the dresses, she didn't ask anybody's budget). It was polyester, so it cannot be dyed. To this day, even knowing that she told us she deliberately picked a bad color, the bride still wonders why none of us ever "cut it and wore it again" (She's a very odd person).

Trust me, nobody is ever re-wearing that dress. That color is not flattering on anybody.  So I would strongly recommend changing the dress color, and maybe incorporate the orange elsewhere, like in their flowers or something.

But if you must have that color for the dresses, please pick something that's like under $100.

mbcdefg

I think that the bride DOES have final say in the color of the dresses. So I don't think you're awful if you politely say, "I really want you to wear this color." But I also think it would be considerate to listen to your BMs, and consider other options, if they're pleading with you to pick something more flattering.

I would ask them to at least try the dress on and see how it looks on them. Even if you love orange, it's not going to do your pretty orange wedding much good if orange looks like crap on the BMs.Maybe a compromise could be, "You can each choose your own style but stick to this specific orange color." Or look for a more flattering shade of orange.

I saw an orange wedding once where the BMs wore black and had orange flowers and jewelry. I thought it looked nice and not Halloween-ish at all. So that's an option if you are open to the idea. Or maybe brown dresses, or a charcoal or silver color, with orange accents.

aerinpegadrak

I think that part of being a bridesmaid is knowing that you're going to be wearing a dress in a color of the bride's choice.  But making them wear mac-and-cheese orange is kind of cruel.  Even the stick-skinny models in the picture don't look good.

I would do a more neutral color with some bright orange accents.  Maybe some orange flowers?  Orange roses are absolutely gorgeous.

Arther007

You have a super long ttime to think about it. Wait. If you love orange on the girls (and you have actually seen them in the dresses) under a year away from your wedding. Then do that color. But don't deciede now. It is way too early, there will be new dresses coming out by that time. I changed my colors at least 2 times! I agree that I have never reused a bm dress and it is not a really practical criteria when looking for a bm dress. How many formal events are we all invited to? Even if you cut down a satin dress, where are you wearing this? So get dresses in the bm budget and in colors that make them feel pretty. You don't want them hiding all night!

bablingbrooke

If you don't change your mind about colors at any point in the next 18 months, I'll be shocked.  Wait on the color.  And be open to changing it. I wanted my BMs to wear green but when they tried it on it looked awful.  We switched to coral, which looked amazing, and to this day I'm so glad we completely changed the color.  You may realize there's an even better color out there.

bablingbrooke

Also, yo're being overly sensitive if you're hurt that they don't like the color.  Be a big girl.  They have to wear it, they should be allowed to tell you what they think.  THat's what true friends do.

MyNameIsNot

I agree about waiting for another year before you start picking BM dresses.  Most people that I know that were engaged for more than a year changed their mind on colors several times during the long engagement.  It's normal.  There's no reason to worry about this now.

When the time comes, I think it makes sense to go shopping with them and have them try on a couple of colors.  Orange is a difficult color to wear for many people, and I can see how it would end up looking bad on them.  It's not so much about wearing it again, but about looking good.  If they look washed out or weird in the color, your pictures aren't going to turn out good.  

I was in a wedding a few years ago where we wore yellow.  Yellow, while better than orange, is not great on everyone.  I look awful in yellow, and I told the bride this.  She insisted, so I wore it anyway.  In her pictures, the 3 fair BMs looked really washed out and almost sick.  It was bad.  

ashleysagep

Wow, like I said I am not opposed to changing the color. Was more so looking for advise on how to deal with BM that want things there way not about the actual dress. But thanks for your opinions.

mags0607

I went to a wedding once, and the BMs dresses were almost a burnt sienna/brown with bright orange sashes like you are suggesting, and the bride accented everything with Gerber daises and some reddish orange orchids. I wasn't what I would have chosen, but it looked very pretty and pulled together nicely.

Wow, like I said I am not opposed to changing the color. Was more so looking for advise on how to deal with BM that want things their way not about the actual dress. But thanks for your opinions.

As for this, people have opinions. They are going to voice them whether they are wanted or not. Its just the way people are. I think the best way to handle this is to take their preferences, comfort level, likes and dislikes into account, and find a way to have your vision for the wedding you want, AND still have people excited to be part of that vision. Don't let BMs, siblings, and parents dictate every aspect of your wedding, but also be willing to compromise if someone has a true objection to something you suggest.

It will make your entire time of planning much less stressful, if you handle all wedding party situations on a friend level first, and a wedding level second. Put your foot down if a BM is making a truly unrealistic request, but also be ready for your WP to do the same if you make an unrealistic request, such as MAKING them wear something they are truly uncomfortable in or wear a specific shoe that they would have a hard time walking in. ( not that you are doing any of this, just generalizations.)

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_complaining-color-choice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:fb934c73-14a6-4454-aa14-6c9db224766dPost:5b4e1a02-35fd-417a-903a-fd32b9cbeeb4">Re: Complaining about Color Choice!- Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, like I said I am not opposed to changing the color. Was more so looking for advise on how to deal with BM that want things there way not about the actual dress. But thanks for your opinions.
Posted by ashleysagep[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, since they are paying for and wearing the dresses, their opinions are pretty important.  </div><div>
</div><div>When the time comes to look for dresses next year, take them to a store and have them try on a variety of colors and styles, and decide on something that you can all be happy with.</div>

LarissaAnn

My BM dress colors also changed 2x and my flower colors more than that.  Try to go with the flow, it'll be easier on you.

bablingbrooke

What would you rather have: happy BMs or your "dream" color?  Think about it.  What matters more: the dress or the people in it?

My BMs would have worn a potato sack if I'd asked them.  I could have forced the green on them.  But I didn't want them wearing an outfit that looked bad on them, and when they suggested coral I was happy to do it.  Just because you can make your friends wear outfits they don't like doesn't mean you should.  That ring on your finger is not a license to be rude to your friends.  They may put up with it, but do you really want to be the kind of bride that makes people put up with her?

aerinpegadrak

If your BMs hate the dress, they'll look miserable and frumpy and your pictures will look terrible even if it's the perfect dress you've always wanted.  Unless you want mannequins or hired models at the altar with you, you're going to have to compromise.  That's the nature of working with people.

megk8oz

Like I said earlier, pretty much nobody looks good in that color. My friend used it, thinking she was being "unique", and she wound up with 4 girls looking bloated and ill in her photos because it just was not a flattering color(Not to mention it's very clear that nobody felt comfortable wearing this dress they knew they didn't look good in).

I actually took that cue from her wedding to make sure that my girls looked good in the photos. I didn't want forced smiles, or people looking sick ... or worse, people just not bothering to smile at all because they were so miserable (Which, yes, there are girls out that that don't even bother smiling for the pictures). So yes, I did pick my dress in a color and style that looked good on them that they were happy wearing. When I shopped, I picked out 3 or 4 different dresses in different shades of blue, and 1 dress in a really nice shade of purple (I didn't like how it looked in blue). I had them try all of them on and had them tell me which ones they felt the best in. The purple dress wound up winning. Purple was not initially going to be one of my colors, but I really did like the dress and I was happy that everybody else felt confident wearing it.

Nobody said to completely get rid of the orange. They said try to pick a dress your girls would look and feel better in, and use the orange elsewhere, like in flowers, or in sashes or something. Plus, with your wedding so far away, you really might decide a year from now that you don't want orange coming within 100 feet of your wedding. Lots of girls go through that. I was engaged roughly 20 months, and I personally went through 5 different color schemes ... and I only "finalized" mine about 5 months before the wedding.

felicity and reverie

If you really like the idea of orange, I think that this is a nice way to incorporate orange while also putting the BMs in a more flattering dress color.



But like others have said, you have awhile before you need to make a decision on the color so it could be helpful to you to look through weddings with orange in them (I think TK has a sort-by-color option or you can use google) to find some color combos that looks nice with orange accents so you can have the orange and the BMs can wear a color they feel comfortable in.