HELP!! What do I DO?!

ksulliva135

So I'm getting married in August, and I have 5 bridesmaids. 2 are my sisters (1 is my MOH), 1 is my best friend from highschool, 1 is a current close friend and coworker, and 1 is my friend from college. I am having issues wit the highschool and the college friends...

Let's start with Highschool. Highschool is off at College right now in Minnesota, and so all purchases have been long distance. I bought her dress while she was at school, ut I showed he pics of it and she loves it. While off at school she bought her accessories... She bought a black beret, chunky jeweled bracelet and necklace, and pink and black pumps... With a medium blue strapless chiffon dress. for an August wedding. Now, I dont have an issue with the jewelry, and I can deal with the hat, but pink and black pumps with a blue summer dress? I keep thinking it will look horrendous and I don't know how to approach her. I am thinking about having all of the BP get together and try on their dresses and accesories and maybe she'll notice they stand out?

Now for college. College wants to be overly involved (like MOH) in everything and gets upset when I don't include her in every minute detail... the issue I am having right now is that college wants me and all of my bridesmaids to get ready the day of at her moms house because its closer to the venue than anyone elses house...
and while yes, technically it is closer, if I am not getting ready at my venue I want to be at my mom's house with her and my brothers and sisters. I want to just outright tell her this, but I am afraid of her taking it way too personally and getting upset.

My other bridesmaids (as of yet) are being awesome. I know I still have 8 months, to go, but I want to take care of the issues sooner than later... PLEASE HELP!!!

sweetcanadian1979

I am not choosing the accessories of my bridesmaids but i did tell them my "preferences" for shoes & i picked very specific colors, basically black or the wedding colors. I also told them if they have something in their closet they are more than welcome to wear them if they are black, blue or fuscia (wedding colors). I also said that i prefer sandals but most of all i prefer comfort of my girls so that it was up to them. 

As for the rest of the jewelry i am having no say, my MOH does not have pierced ears, otherwise i would probably buy them the same costume jewelry, but they are adults & fully capable of dressing themselves i would think.

She probably should have asked you at least what your vision is. I seen pics of 2 girls in a bp dressed completely different & one looked awesome & one looked aweful & the bride dressed them both. 

BMcLeodTeam

I told my bridesmaids that I prefer black shoes, don't care on style. For jewellery I just asked that they try to fit the colours of the wedding in some way, shape or form, which would make sense if they want it to go with their dress. They are adults, and I trust them. 

rlavach

I know some brides like to micromanage, but I'm not one of them. All I did was tell my two BMs a dress color & shoe color. Each found a dress in their color (one pink, one yellow) & shoes/jewelry on their own. I haven't even seen them. That's fine with me because I don't need to. They're grown women & can do it themselves. 

AurorasEnvy

I just told my BMs to wear whatever black shoes and silver-ish tone jewelry they wanted.  They were looking for guidance with accessories.  I think your idea of having her try on her dress with the accessories and with the other girls is a good one, having her come to her own conclusion that they clash together would be easiest.

As for your college friend, I'd thank her for her generous offer but say that you and your mom have already planned for everyone to get ready at the venue/her house.  I would hope that she would be an adult about it and get over it, as long as you make it apparent to her that you are truly grateful for her offer.  If not, hopefully she'll get over it.  Do you really want to make your decision based off the fact that this girl might be irrationally upset because you didn't want to get ready at her house?

meganb1977

Getting everyone together to pick out and shoes might be a good idea, but I think you'd also be OK if you tell Highschool that her shoes are cute, but you realize you should have specified a color and you're sorry you weren't more clear before, and you would like everyone to pick out something in X color.

As far as College, I think you'll be fine to tell her you really appreciate the offer but you were planning to get ready at your mother's home.  Especially if you are planning to have a limousine or etc. transport the girls from there to the ceremony location, the fact that your mother's home is farther doesn't need to be that much of an issue.

MyNameIsNot

No one is going to notice or care what shoes the BMs are wearing.  Don't worry about it.  

As far as the other one, I can see why she would be thinking you'd be doing the traditional get ready with the BMs thing, but if you aren't, just let her know that you'll be getting ready at home with family, and that you'll meet her at the venue at X time.  She'll get over it.  

jemmini6

I think it's okay to specify general guidelines for accessories, especially for shoes (ie, any black shoe), but if you get down to a very specific style, then you can still require they wear it, but you must pay for it.

smartlypretty

Well, the beret is a little weird. Okay a lot weird. I think it's perfectly okay to tell your bridesmaids they can't wear hats lol. And I think it's fine to set a shoe color also. 

ksulliva135

I guess my biggest issue is that I told them I trusted them, and then she went totally outrageous (I can definately say it's out of character for her)

I figure if she puts everything on and I don't notice the shoes, then I'm going to leave it be. I had told them I preferred sandals, but I figure that isn't the end of the world.

I told college that I was going to be getting ready at the venue (since I'm DIYing it and setting everything up myself) so that seemed to clear up that issue.