FMIL Update! (not that juicy...sorry!)

em01092

Ok so FI talked to the pastor a few days ago. He is on our side, and feels we are being totally reasonable about just inviting the church people to the ceremony and having a "private" reception. He thinks she is taking this way too far. He says he will try and talk to her and see if he can get her to calm down. 

FI talked to his dad this morning, and his dad said she is still pissed. She won't really talk about it with him (FI's dad). He thinks she just needs some more time to be mad, and he hopes that the pastor will get through to her. FI also told his dad that I'm pissed and my feelings were severely hurt, and that I need an apology from her. 

FI's dad also reminded FI of an incident, appartenly from several years back, when FMIL and FFIL were planning to visit FMIL's brother, and she offered to cook. Her brother said no, not to worry about it. I'm thinking that's because she was to be a guest in his home and didn't want her bothering with it when she was visiting, but FMIL took it personally. She took it as an insult, as in her brother didn't like her cooking. They didn't speak for like 2 years! WTF?

marcellah

CRAZY!!

Well, hopefully the pastor can get through to her... I hope you can relax and just enjoy the last few months. I would hate to see this carry over into the wedding day and have an explosive fight at the wedding!!! >.<

cdbishop

Wow that's crazy about the thing with FI's brother.  Like PP said, hopefully the Pastor can get through to her.  Glad that you have more people on your side proving FMIL is a bit crazy. 

chickenbut143

wow - hopefully he can get through to her and like PP said - you can enjoy the next few months.    This is a happy time!!  lol  I'm totally glad he's on your side too - does that mean you don't have to find a new venue? 

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_fmil-update-not-juicysorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:32092bf4-ab21-4c00-b837-ea5b2e2940fePost:90e37c85-ffb1-44d6-b35c-e02623c86e5e">Re: FMIL Update! (not that juicy...sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]wow - hopefully he can get through to her and like PP said - you can enjoy the next few months.  :)  This is a happy time!!  lol  I'm totally glad he's on your side too - <strong>does that mean you don't have to find a new venue? </strong>
Posted by chickenbut143[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks ladies. </div><div>
</div><div>And yes, we are good to keep the wedding at the church!  The pastor is totally fine with us. I'm really glad about this, because otherwise it would have meant rushing to order new invitations, possibly finding a new offiiciant, and scrounging up more money for the ceremony to be held at the country club. It wouldn't have been out of the question, but I'm glad it's money we don't have to spend after all. </div>

rswan412

Are you sure our FI's don't have the same mother? Because I totally feel your pain and this sounds exactly like my FMIL!

It's so reassuring to know that other people are on your side and that she is the crazy one, though I totally get that having a FMIL that doesn't like you or is upset with you can rock your world!

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_fmil-update-not-juicysorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:32092bf4-ab21-4c00-b837-ea5b2e2940fePost:b16f4138-a8fb-4b70-ad76-c8bc13f5e514">Re: FMIL Update! (not that juicy...sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you sure our FI's don't have the same mother? Because I totally feel your pain and this sounds exactly like my FMIL! It's so reassuring to know that other people are on your side and that she is the crazy one, though I totally get that having a FMIL that doesn't like you or is upset with you can rock your world!
Posted by rswan412[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one. And yeah, it does stink that she has to be such a debby downer, but whatever. I can't make her not be upset, if she needs time to get over herself. Hopefully it just isn't 2 years, for FI's sake, but I really wouldn't mind. We aren't close, and he isn't really close to her either. It would just make holidays awkward...</div><div>
</div><div>Bet she changes her tune in a year or two when we tell her I'm pregnant. </div>

redfallon

This is the same FMIL who sent you the nasty email, right? Good that it's been (mostly) straightened out. She seems like someone who takes stuff way to personally and doesn't understand anyone's point of view but her own.

That is crazy about her brother!

starree444

She is so crazy... I am glad that the pastor is on your side. I think that will make a huge difference to FMIL.

I really hope it works out well... But i have a feeling that she's just not going to let any of this stuff go very easily.

faerylvr27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_fmil-update-not-juicysorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:32092bf4-ab21-4c00-b837-ea5b2e2940fePost:c4be80ff-ecea-45e8-b90c-8b4dbc6d9d96">FMIL Update! (not that juicy...sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so FI talked to the pastor a few days ago. He is on our side, and feels we are being totally reasonable about just inviting the church people to the ceremony and having a "private" reception. He thinks she is taking this way too far. He says he will try and talk to her and see if he can get her to calm down.  FI talked to his dad this morning, and his dad said she is still pissed. She won't really talk about it with him (FI's dad). He thinks she just needs some more time to be mad, and he hopes that the pastor will get through to her. FI also told his dad that I'm pissed and my feelings were severely hurt, and that I need an apology from her.  FI's dad also reminded FI of an incident, appartenly from several years back, when FMIL and FFIL were planning to visit FMIL's brother, and she offered to cook. Her brother said no, not to worry about it. I'm thinking that's because she was to be a guest in his home and didn't want her bothering with it when she was visiting, but FMIL took it personally. She took it as an insult, as in her brother didn't like her cooking. They didn't speak for like 2 years! WTF?
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

are you sure you're not marrying my brother?? LOL this sounds EXACTLY how my mom would react in both situations! I'm sorry you have to go thru this, hopefully she will get over herself and soon! she owes you an apology

inhisname2010

I am sooooo happy to hear that others have sided with intelligence and have not listened to her foolish rants and reasons.  See...it all works out in the end!!!

cgyvhu

I'm glad the pastor is on your side and you don't have to change invitations/venues!  Sounds like your FMIL better act like an adult soon, or everyone will give up on supporting her.

meganb1977

So glad the pastor was supportive of you having your ceremony in the church with a private reception as you intended.  If your FMIL is choosing to keep on being mad it's her energy to waste, and if no fuel is added to the fire, it will eventually die out.  It definitely sounds like it's nothing personal against you if she overreacts over petty things towards her own brother.