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Interfaith Weddings

Christian Wedding with a couple Jewish traditions added

FI and I are christian. Fiance's mom's family is jewish. I decided to incorporate the breaking of the glass in our ceremony and the horah at the reception to honor his mom's family. They mentioned that they would be honored if we did that.

My mom is PISSED and brought up that I am a christian and that I am swaying to his family. REALLY? Because of breaking a dang glass and doing 1 jewish dance? I explained to her that the breaking of the glass has many meanings but that a few is that the couple is coming together and making a new home. That doesn't seem too "jewish" as if it would be offensive.

Why can't we all get along? I just thought it would be nice for his family. I need a drink right now, lol.
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Re: Christian Wedding with a couple Jewish traditions added

  • edited December 2011
    I don't think there should be a problem with this.  My FI and I are having a non-denominational ceremony with some traditions from both of our families included (his family is Christian, mine Jewish) and a friend will officiate.  It's your day, so do what makes you and your FI happy! I don't think that the glass breaking is unreasonable.
  • RoMy215RoMy215 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Neither H nor I is religious, but he was raised Catholic and I was raised Jewish. We'd been to a few Jewish weddings and he really liked some of the traditions. I wanted to incorporate some from both of our backgrounds, but we couldn't find any for him. So we did the glass with this:
    A glass will now be placed under Mr Romy's foot. The breaking of the glass reminds us that even in moments of ultimate joy, we recall the losses suffered by our families and friends. The glass, the symbol of the frailty of life, is broken with an implied prayer, “As this glass shatters, so may our marriage never break.” The ceremony concludes with the groom breaking the glass.
    I originally had this at the end: This is the cue for everyone to shout “Mazel Tov!” “or “Congratulations!“ But we decided to cut that part to prevent it from being too religious for his family (and a few friends).
    By choosing to honor one faith (and, more importantly, your FMIL), it does not mean you are disrespecting or quitting your own. You are making the wedding ceremony and reception what it's meant to be--a joining of two families.
    Sometimes it just becomes so complicated--and completely made me understand why people just elope!!!
    That’s why we didn’t tell anyone anything. When people asked---I told them that they'd find out when they got there. =)

  • edited December 2011
    I know what you are going through, for me it is the other way around. My Jewish fince's family is giving me a very hard time in general for not being Jewish but now that we are planning the wedding (to be held in Prague, Czech Republic), things have just gotten harder. 
    I had to realize that it does not matter what anyone says or thinks, all that matters is that we do what is important to us. 
    It is your day and it is incredible how somehow, so many other people believe they get to make choices and judgements about this special day in your life, especially since you are going to have your elements incorporated into the event. 

    Just remember that this is your day and even if you and your fiance would choose to have a full out Jewish wedding, it would be your decision and everyone else should be happy as long as you are happy. 

    =)
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