Interfaith Weddings

Agnostic/Catholic Elopement/Quick Wedding Ideas?

Hey everyone - 

My fiance and I have never wanted a giant, perfect traditional wedding. In fact, the more I look into wedding planning and costs, the more elopement looks like exactly what I want to do. 

Here's the problem: his family is extremely Catholic. Like, they wouldn't acknowledge our wedding if it wasn't performed by a priest Catholic. Neither of us are religious, but considering how much it means to his family (read: his mother) this doesn't seem like the time to make a stand on behalf of our religious beliefs, you know what I'm saying?

But I really want to elope. 

So here's my question: are there priests who perform elopements? I'm willing to consider any options here, so if you can think of an out-of-the-box solution, let me know!

**Also, I just wanted to quickly say that I completely respect the religious beliefs and practices of others. That said, I'm not looking for any religious advice or commentary here. My fiance and I are cool with our beliefs and, right now, we're just looking to get hitched quickly w/o starting a war with his conservative, Catholic mother. Thanks so much for understanding! Y'all are rockstars. 

Re: Agnostic/Catholic Elopement/Quick Wedding Ideas?

  • I've heard it's possible to do a planned elopement in the Roman Catholic Church. That is, you can have a fairly private destination wedding in the Roman Catholic Church, but you still have to go through all the prep. The prep usually involves a couple meetings with a Priest and some classes. They'll be more than usual prep if you're not both Catholic and/or one of you hasn't been practicing for awhile.

    I don't really know how you do this. I've only heard about it from Catholic friends. I'd suggest working backwards - find the church in Vegas or Niagra Falls or wherever you'll get married, and ask them how a Catholic elopement might work.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tell his mother that since neither of you subscribe to the faith, to be married in a Catholic ceremony would be dishonest and utterly disrespectful to the Catholic Church. Have your wedding as you please.... if later on in life, you find yourselves wanting to be part of the faith, then you can ask a priest to perform a convalidation, which will bring your marriage into the Church. It would be horrible to stand before a priest, at an altar, and lie about your intentions. I would think a Catholic would not want you to do this.

    The only instance where I have seen a quickie wedding allowed in the Catholic Church is when someone is on their deathbed, and wishes to marry before dying. You can have a very small, very private, very simple wedding ceremony in the Catholic Church, but you would still need to go through pre-marital preparations.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    p.s. I actually think this is the best time to make a stand - you are starting your life together - and she needs to know that you two make your own decisions. If you yield to her now - what happens down the road? She will want your children baptized and raised Catholic - what do you say then? This really is the point in your life where you set the precedent.
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