Interfaith Weddings

Mainly Pagan ceremony / double wedding (generic Christian themed) questions and ideas...

So this is how it goes. We're actually polyamourous. There are 4 of us looking to get married/handfasted to our primaries; married legally via the double wedding - our other set is a same-sex couple and then to bind all 4 of us together in a handfasting ceremony. The thing is, my family is EXTREMELY strict Christian as is one of my girls' mom. My mother will probably be furious for even thinking about it. But if we do the double wedding as discussed there are only a few states/areas that allow same-sex marriages. That limits our choices. We currently live in Oklahoma. But the closest state that allows it looks like Iowa. From the research I've done anyway. Hopefully we'll have more options by the time we actually get married. No one has proposed yet, but there is serious talk in the air and I'm trying not to get too excited.

All three of my other partners are pagan, the other girls are witches (white and green) and my primary (the boy) is a spirit warrior. I don't really currently have a religion, but recently I've been leaning more towards Buddhism or Native American faith. I may end up making mixed beliefs into a singular faith for me. The only thing is... I'm not entirely certain how we should approach it all. There's a lot of factors to combine and while I told all of them that our hearts will more than likely be more in the handfasting than the wedding itself. If no one is Christian but our families... should be just do the handfasting ceremony with a few witnesses and tell them we just got eloped? If it happens in another state and no one from my or her family can make it... should we add elements of our REAL faiths in the ceremony instead?

I actually got married once before, so this is a second wedding for me. i'm the only one in the group that's had any experience with this sort of thing, but it was a completely christian ceremony (my ex-husband was Christian and I knew it would make my mom happy) and I don't even know where to get ideas for the handfasting ceremony at OR how to get a local preist/priestess  to do our ceremony if we're in another state. Any information at all will be helpful even if it doesn't end up getting implemented.

Re: Mainly Pagan ceremony / double wedding (generic Christian themed) questions and ideas...

  • edited December 2011
    Finally I found someone else doing handfasting! You sound like you've got quite the show going on. What you can do is just have a private ceremony with your closest friends and not do any legal paperwork. (I think that's how we're doing it. I believe there's a tax benefit for those who live together for so many years that's just about the same benefit married people have.) I might be wrong but that's what I've heard so far.
    As far as your family, it's your call whether or not you want them there. I don't talk to me family anymore because there is so much disagreement with my choices of man, faith, etc. I've talked to other brides who didn't have their family at their wedding, and they said  that it does save a headache trying to make everyone happy when it's really Your day.
    For someone to do the ceremony, I don't know much about that :/ we're having a family member from his side lead the ceremony.
    I guess the way I see it in the end is marriage can be printed on a paper (paper can easily be destroyed), but really it's something you feel with your significant other and celebrate it.
    Another plus to little/none legal paperwork/documents, is that should you drift from each other, you can untie the knot, go in peace from each other, and not be at each others throats over divorce crap lol
    Hope some of that helps :) even a lil
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