Chinese Weddings

Tea ceremony vent - soooo annoyed

Around the time that I sent out my wedding invitations, my dad requested a few last minute add-ons:1. My dad's great aunt and her family (whom we had met a handful of times but haven't seen in at least 10 years)2. A distant relative who apparently knew my grandfather, but whom we had never met until my grandfather's funeral a couple of years ago. We didn't keep in touch after that initial meeting, until they recently moved to Canada. (They looked us up because we're their only relatives here.) My parents didn't even think to put these people on the original invite list, but my very overbearing grandmother demanded that we add them. So I did, since there weren't very many and I didn't feel like starting WWIII.When my dad gave the distant relative (#2) his invitation, he alluded to the fact that in his old village, EVERYONE in the village participates in the tea ceremony. NOW my dad wants me to include these people in the tea ceremony. (Or rather, he's afraid that my grandmother will, and he's not going to against her.) I'm really upset. If my parents won't back me up on it, there's no way I can say no, but I feel really uncomfortable with the idea. I had originally been planning to pour tea only for the people who have actually had a meaningful part of my growing up - my parents, grandmother, and my parents' siblings. To honour people I don't even know in this way seems like a huge farce to me. I even told my mom (who's a lot more understanding), "Fine, I'll do it, but just for the lai see."Thanks for letting me vent.
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Re: Tea ceremony vent - soooo annoyed

  • edited December 2011
    ring_pop:  I assume your dad's great aunt's son is not your "generation"?  Cause you're only supposed to give tea to generations above you.  I think your compromise is good.  I think parents tend to get more involved in the tea ceremony because it is kind of "their" tradition.  If everyone in the village participates, then that's their norm.  Actually I would think most people wouldn't want to get involved because it means they have to give you lai see.  Haha.But I sympathize with you ...I know dealing with parents during a wedding can be pretty tough.
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