Mothers' attire: etiquette?

Alko726

Is there any sort of rule of thumb for MoBs and MoGs to go by when it comes to finding something to wear for the wedding? Some sort of etiquette that I don't know about? Anyone see that "whose wedding is it anyway" for a NYE wedding when the mother of the groom (she was Asian, I think) wanted to wear a bright red dress to their black and white wedding and she stood out like a sore thumb but didn't think there was anything wrong with it? I'm sort of hoping this doesn't happen... but I don't know if I should try to say anything if she doesn't ask me about it first. She wore bright red to his bro's wedding a while back and their colors were champagne and black. Should the mothers try to coordinate at all? My mom is more simple and doesn't want to stand out too much because she feels like it shouldn't be about her, but I'm a little afraid that it'll make things a little uncomfortable if FMIL goes all out. Sorry for the novel! TIA for any advice!

junelley

As far as I know, the mothers don't have to coordinate with the color at all.   Only the wedding party does.  The mothers can whatever they want to wear.  With that said, I have heard from various sources that the (Asian, at least Chinese) mother of the bride is supposed to wear bright red, a happy color, and they ARE supposed to stand out.  My own mother is in Taiwan right now as I am typing, and my sister-in-law, who lives there, is shopping with my mom for a red qipao.  I didn't give specific instructions on what kind/color of dress to buy, but my sister-in-law said mothers of brides are supposed to wear that and took my mom shopping for one, without my consent.HTH.  I am a victim, too. LOL

ring_pop

I doubt that they'd choose the bright red dress just to annoy you (right?). Just because YOU chose subdued colours, doesn't mean that they should have to sacrifice their personal style.FWIW my FMIL is planning on wearing a bright, colourful sari, while my mom is planning to wear a pretty plain cheongsam. I gave my mom a heads up - "Just so you know, FMIL's outfit will be pretty bright and colourful - will you feel weird if she stands out more than you?" My mom said she was perfectly happy and comfortable with it, since it's her style.You can let them know your wedding colours just as a heads up, in case they want to coordinate. But unless they ask you for your opinion on the outfit, I wouldn't way anything. Clothes are a pretty personal thing. It's not a battle worth fighting.

Alko726

I have to agree with you, actually on not saying anything. Iread earlier an article about how the MoB should get her dress first and the MoG should follow suuit to coordinate, but I thought that was old tradition. I brought it up to my mom a little while after I posted as a "how would you feel" and she seemed fine with it, which is what I care most about.:) Thanks much!

foolforfood

I wanted the moms to coordinate with the wedding party.  Our parents were in a lot of the group photos, and I liked that nobody's outfit clashed.  It's up to you though.  Luckily for me, both moms enjoy wearing things in the purple family, so I didn't need to do any nudging.  Also, I think it's only appropriate for the bride to wear a red qipao.  I usually see Asian moms wear variations of pink or maroon.  But I guess each family follows different traditions.

stina93446

Moms don't have to coordinate with the BP because they aren't part of the BP. They may or may not choose to dress in the same family of colors as what you selected, but they might want to. Both my mom and his mom are wearing colors similar to the color scheme, but they are definitely NOT wearing the same colors as my BP. The mothers usually coordinate with each other. They may both choose to wear long dresses, short dresses, jackets, etc.

Alko726

foolforfood -- My primary concern was my mom feeling comfortable, but my secondary thought was the photos as well. I personally would *like* to see everyone semi-coordinated and not clashing on the whole in our photos. As long as my mom's A-OK with it like she says she is, I'm happy to just go with the flow though. Usually I post some concern I have on here and somehow maybe a few days later the issue comes up and turns out nicely. I should stop thinking so much. Stina -- Thanks for the advice! I was asking about the moms needing to coordinate with each other, definitely not with the BP -- that'd be too much I think.