Chinese Weddings

Groom in need of assistance- Help!

Hello- My fiance Roz and I are getting married on 10/2. She's half Chinese on her dad's side but not much up on the culture so doesn't the answer to this question. Because of a rift in that family, I'm unable to ask her dad any questions about Chinese culture or traditions in their family.  Her grandparents will be there and are very traditional. English is their second language (Cantonese is their first) as they didn't come to the states until the 50's. I swear that I remember reading something once about a tradition in which the groom presents to the parents and grandparents a gift of four pastries. Am I making this up? Has anyone ever heard of this and if so, what would they be? If this is not in fact tradition and there is something I should know about, something that IS traditional for the groom to do, please let me know. Basically I adore her grandparents and want them to know that I'm honored to be marrying their granddaughter and to have them as part of my family as well. Make sense?ANY help would be greatly appreciated.Best-

Re: Groom in need of assistance- Help!

  • edited December 2011
    So in the good ole days, the groom's family does give the bride's family cakes as gifts. Not the western cream cakes but the chinese cakes which are flaky pastries with fillings (usually dried fruit and/or nuts).Now in HK, they usually give cake cards, where the recipient can go to the bakery and pick out how ever many cakes the card says. So the bride's family don't eat all the cakes. They keep some and distribute the rest to friends and relatives. I would avoid 4 cakes. Go for 6 or 8 cakes. Better meaning numberwise. 4 sounds like death in Chinese. 8 sounds like prosperity! Try and see if you can determine their tastes. If they like western pastries then go ahead and get them. If not, then visit a Chinese bakery and ask them about Chinese wedding cakes. There are "wife cakes" (Cantonese: low por bang), but I am not sure if they are traditional wedding cakes. There are also "daughter marriage" cakes (Cantonese: ga lui bang) but I rarely see them in the US...Hope this helps!
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