Two Rabbis from 2 different shuls

colourz

My rabbi is set to marry us in a conservative wedding. In-laws want their reform rabbi to co-officiate. Has anyone heard of this?

2dBride

I haven't heard of it.  But only the two rabbis can tell you whether they would be willing to do it.  And you need to think about whether you would be ok with having both of them.  Also, if there is an expense associated with having the second rabbi involved, would your FILs be willing to pay it?

ciaraman

What do you and your FI think of this? It would make more sense to me if your FI was saying he wanted his rabbi to co-officiate...the fact that it's his parents asking for it strikes me as odd.

My FI and I will likely have two rabbis co-officiate at our wedding, but they will both be Conservative, so it's a little bit of a different situation.

colourz

That's a good point. It's my FI I should be thinking about. I also worry about pleasing everyone.

silversparks

I actually think it's quite common to have more than 1 rabbi participate in the wedding - lots of people want to incorporate the clergy from both family's synagogues or if the couple has another rabbi they're close to (Hillel, camp, etc.)
What I'm confused about is what your FMIL means by co-officiating. Someone  has to be the official "mesader kiddushin" and if you have already asked your Conservative rabbi, he or she would have to agree to officiate with the Reform rabbi. Again So it depends on what kind of participation you and your FI (not your FMIL!) would like to have from his family's rabbi. There's lots of ways he or she could participate without "officiating".

colourz

I see. I didn't realize one person is the official "mesader kiddushin" and anyone else may simply participate. I'm not especially keen on this idea but I thought I'd find out if it's even possible to co-officiate. I'm surprised I had 2 responses telling me that it's up to me and my FI, not his parents. I'm used to trying to make everyone happy. I guess this is the time to make my FI and me happy. Thanks!

reebsreebs

If you want this to happen, you will have to ask the rabbis if they can do it cross-movement. Our conservative shul has rules about only conservative rabbis officiating inside the building. However, a non-conservative rabbi could do something like the 7 blessings or saying nice things about the couple.  You'll have to talk to the rabbi you already asked about what, if any, roles he or she is comfortable with another rabbi taking.

Our conservative rabbi is VERY happy to share the role with other conservative rabbis.  They are all part of a rabbi union that actually has some strict rules about this-- so ask.

usc03

i'm going to be having 2 rabbis bc my FI wants his rabbi to marry us and I want my best friend/MOH/rabbincical student to help marry us as well.  My FI's rabbi is orthodox but the congregation he led wasn't affiliated (but if it was, the closest is COnservtive)  My friend is a female, reform rabbinical student. 

My FI's rabbi was cool with it and said he didn't mind working with her for our wedding...which pleasantly surprised me because he's a 90 year old Orthodox Rabbi!  

Just talk with the rabbis about your expectations and then the rabbis will get in touch with each other and divide up responsibilities.  

colourz

Thanx