Memorial

StarryIce

Hi Ladies. I have a bit of a dilema. I'm trying to figure out what to do at my wedding ceremony to honor my late mother. She passed away about three months ago, and it'll be about 7 months since by the time we have the wedding. I'm a Jew by Choice, so I know what I would do at a Christian ceremony, but my wedding will only be the 2nd Jewish wedding I've ever been to! Normally, I would just ask my Rabbi about this, but I'm afraid that he's going to say that I shouldn't do anything to lessen the Simchat of the day.Is there anything that you ladies have seen done at other Jewish weddings as a memorial? Thanks in advance.

phkesner

We're putting an empty chair under the chupah where my fiancee's mother would be as well as putting a note in the program. 

susandstanek

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my father several years ago and I am not sure how to honor him during the ceremony -- I am hoping to keep mine as short as possible and I am not really sure where it would fit.  I know at reception I plan to ask everyone to dance one dance for him to one of our (his and mine)  favorite songs

Knottie_22381855

We had a note in our program about Glenn's dad and we also dedicated a dance to him (we got married on Father's Day, so, extra-special meaning) to one of his favorite songs and invited men to come up and dance with their daughters or anyone they wanted to.

BenandDina

Hi there!I am sorry for your loss!My husband's mother is deceased, and we honored her and our late grandparents in the program.  We wrote something like, "On this special day, we would like to honor the memory of those who are no longer with us but whose unconditional love and support and wise guidance have shaped us as we grew and continue to inspire us today.  May their memory be blessed".

2dBride

We are doing a memorial in our program for my former in-laws, who just died this summer.  Our rabbi was fine with it.  I've seen services in which there was an announcement during the service to the effect that, "We remember those who cannot be here with us today," or the like.  It's definitely not a violation of Jewish tradition.

october010bride

I'm very sorry for your loss. My mother passed away when I was 4 years old and I am still struggling with how to deal with her absence. Her name will be listed in the program next to my fathers but it'll say in memorium and our rabbi was planning on saying something. It'll be brief but it'll touch upon the joy of the day but how there are people who can't be here. He was the one to actually brought up the idea so I think you should ask your rabbi for sure. hth!  

alinaandjared

Hi StarryIce, I too am sorry for your recent loss; my thoughts are with you and your family. As for the Jewish wedding day, there is nothing that would indicate that mentioning the deceased would take away from the wedding ceremony/wedding day, at least not religiously. Like others have said, our Rabbi asked us if there were any close family members that have passed away and he will say a brief word about that in the ceremony. We did not put it in the program.