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Jewish Weddings

To Favor or not?

I am not a huge fan of favors; rarely have I been to a wedding where I wanted one and it many I've seen a few not even taken. We are having a relatively small affair, maybe something approaching 100 (that's small compared to all our friends, etc.).   I am planning to have little apples that will serve as escort cards but families/couples will have one so it's not quite a favor but they get to keep it. We aren't big fans of chocolate; I find bells and other little knick-knacks annoying.  Bottom line, I just don't want favors.  I think after providing a great evening of dinner and additional time of an impromptu after party (with open bar), I don't need to also include favors. Thoughts?  If you gave or plan to give, why and what did you decide upon?  If not, why?  Thanks much!

Re: To Favor or not?

  • edited December 2011
    Hi there, As I mentioned yesterday, I don't think that they are mandatory, and they depend on the taste of the couple and wedding budget.  We had escort card frames, embroidered kippot and Russian chocolates as favors; I liked the idea, and they seemed to have been very popular with our guests.  I don't think that any of your guests would feel the lack of them or be upset if there aren't any, and I don't think that they're mandatory at all.  People don't attend weddings for favors; they are there to support the couple, and as a nice hostess, you are providing them with food and drink and a nice environment, so additional presents are not vital.
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we did not have traditional favors. we did have kippas for guests, though I don't consider that favors really. we did give a donation to a charity. honestly, the reason i decided not to give favors is because i didn't feel they were necessary and it was one less thing i'd have to deal with. i think its fine if people give the, i just chose not to!
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  • Danaz1Danaz1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we didn't do favors. most of my friends didn't do them either. It is definitley not mandatory no one will care if you have them or not
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    At the ceremony and luncheon afterward, we are having kippot for guests, but that's it.  At the reception back home three days later, we are having a DIY "photobooth."  Guests will get an inexpensive favor (bookmark, magnet, pocket planner) with their own photo in it.  In part, this was an attempt to get them to use the photobooth--and thus for us to have more pictures in our guestbook.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone; my fmil said if I didn't want any I should have any.  She didn't do any but her sister-in-law, unbeknowst to everyone, was kind enough to create white chocolate loppipops as favors.I don't have time for favors and am just not a favor person; just wanted to make sure that a guest wouldn't somehow feel slighted not having one.  I am providing kippot, everyone will get to keep their place setting apple, and I think the programs will make a nice reminder of our wedding.  I'd just rather put those funds, though not excessive, towards something else.Again, great feedback everyone - thanks so much.
  • edited December 2011
    Oops, I usually check the boards before posting but didn't this time.  I see this is duplicative but I thank everyone for posting here as well.  :-)
  • signingjuliesigningjulie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This was just discussed on the March 2010 board. I haven't seen favors at too many Jewish weddings (I think I got them at 1 or 2). People usually forget about them, don't want them, leave them on the tables, etc. So you're spending extra $ on something tacky that people don't really want or like, and probably won't use. FI and I are thinking of doing a donation to American Cancer Society in lieu of favors (FI's father just died of colon cancer a month ago). We're having kippahs and bubbles at the ceremony, our place cards will be sand dollars (which people can take), and we are giving out of town bags. So we are already giving things to our guests. I doubt people will care if there are favors.
  • silversparkssilversparks member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The most common favours I've seen at Jewish weddings are the kippot, programs, and benchers. After providing any or all of the above, I don't think anything else is ever necessary.We did kippot cause all Jewish weddings should have them (IMO), programs so that people would know what's going on (and because it was really meaningful for us to explain why we chose to do what we did AND our clergy friends collect them as resources), and benchers (again we could reasonably expect most of our guests to use them in the future AND DH was one of the people who helped edit the one we chose and it was a way of making a memorial for a friend of his)
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  • edited December 2011
    We are definitely doing kippot and programs so I guess I never view these as favors per se.  Not sure if we'll get benchers for everyone or just have a select few.  We plan to bench outside the main dining area for those that wish to do so, as the majority of the guests are either not Jewish or non-observant.
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