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Jewish Weddings

hamotzi and kiddish or just hamotzi?

Hello -       We are planning to say the motzi / blessing over bread at our reception.  What I can't figure out is if we are also supposed to say the kiddish / blessing over wine at the reception or is it enough that it is said during the ceremony?  I have been looking in books and googling, but I can't find an answer.  Any information on what you did / are planning to do would be wonderful.     Also, has anybody said the blessing over bread even though they weren't serving a kosher meal?  (We are not serving any bacon or shellfish, but we are serving non-kosher chicken).TIA for any info.Beth

Re: hamotzi and kiddish or just hamotzi?

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Orthodox tradition, the kiddush is not said over wine during the ceremony.  Instead, you wait until the end of the reception, at which time you say the Sheva Brachot (which include the kiddush.  [url=http://www.jewishcelebrations.com/wedding/Orthodox/Reception.htm]Here is a complete explanation[/url].What we are going to do is to have hamotzi immediately following the ceremony, in the sukkah, and go to the reception after that.  However, I would say that it is relatively common for people who do not ordinarily keep kosher to say hamotzi even if the meal is not kosher.  The bread itself is likely to be kosher, even if the rest of the meal is not.
  • edited December 2011
    We are having a conservative ceremony... I asked someone at the shul about the blessing over the wine because I was confused and she said it is not done because it was already blessed during the ceremony. So we are just doing the hamotzi. (hopefully she was right!)We're not serving a kosher meal... same as you. No bacon or shellfish but def not kosher. It's still a Jewish wedding so there's nothing wrong about saying the blessing.
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  • RedZeeRedZee member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You don't bless wine at the reception. I think one reason is because it was already said during the ceremony. The other reason, and I don't have any resources for this it's just based on usual practice, is that you usually only do the wine on holidays and stuff and the wedding is just a celebratory meal.I think you should still do the blessing even if it's not kosher. You're supposed to say a blessing before you eat, it doesn't specify over whether or not it's kosher.Ultimately, go with what you feel comfortable with. But it's a good way to give someone an honor.
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  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ditto previous posters, hamotzi only.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yes, we are doing the blessing over the bread, even though not having a kosher meal.  I actually wasn't sure about the wine thing either, but it sounds like its not necessary because it will be done during the ceremony.
  • Danaz1Danaz1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I orginally thought that you said the kiddush at the reception but my rabbit corrected me and last minute we took it out. The band leader was not happy with the changes.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto; you will do the wine blessing towards the end when you do the Grace after meals with the wedding portion included.  Only hamotzi.
  • edited December 2011
    just adding my agreement with everyone else- kiddush isn't usually done because 1) you said it at the ceremony and 2) it is not sabbath or a holiday. and I think if you want to do hamotzi you should do it whether the food is kosher or not.
  • ShoshieShoshie member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did both at the reception1) No law against saying kiddush twice2) nice way to honor someone3) Everyone else hasn't had a drink yet. HTH!
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  • signingjuliesigningjulie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's usually just hamotzi but I could be wrong. I plan on doing hamotzi and my meal is not technically kosher (more kosher style -no mixing meat and dairy but chicken is not kosher, no kosher kitchen,etc). But overall our wedding is going to be on the less traditional side.
  • edited December 2011
    Hi Everybody -     Thank you all so much for the replies.  I feel much better about what we are planning to do.  Some people were questioning the decision to say the motzi if the meal wasn't kosher.  I feel like it is still a Jewish wedding so we should say the motzi.  And I like that pp pointed out that the blessing is over the bread / challah.       I also appreciate the info on the kiddish since I really had no idea and my rabbi didn't tell me that part.Beth
  • lachlomlachlom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    About the non-kosher meal and hamotzi. Is the bread kosher? Chances are the answer is yes. You are making a blessing on the bread, and hamotzi will 'count' for all of the rest of the food. However, the blessing is on the bread itself. While eating non-kosher food, you are NOT allowed to make a blessing over the food(such as if you were eating bacon, you are not allowed to make the blessing 'shehakol'), but the actual blessing of hamotzi is on the bread. One would also argue that you SHOULD make hamotzi, because then you are obligated to say your birkas hamazon and therefore, the sheva brachos.
  • lachlomlachlom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, I'll also add regarding kiddush. Kiddush itself is for the special time such as Shabbat and Yom Tov. However, there is nothing saying you can't say the blessing over wine again. Keep in mind that kiddush is different than making a blessing over wine or grape juice. You are free to make the blessing baruch atah.... borei pri hagafen over wine, if you would like. Religious Jews make this blessing every time they have wine regardless of the day or time, and it's not the same as kiddush.
  • edited December 2011
    Hi Lachlom -     Thanks for the reply.  It was helpful and more thorough than anything my Rabbi has told me so far.  :)Beth
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