MOH duties

jendawn80

What are some things that the MOH typically helps with before/during the wedding?  I know the obvious things like helping with the bachelorette party, helping me with my gown during the ceremony ,etc.  What other things, either general or specific to the Jewish wedding are your MOHs helping you with?  My fiance's sister is my MOH and she lives out of state and has not been in any weddings.  My FMIL suggested giving her a list of things that I will need her help with.  I'm very excited to have her help me as the wedding gets closer since I'm doing all the planning by myself! Thanks!

jendawn80

Ok, so apparently my post got totally misinterpreted on the wedding party board which was not my intention.I was being sincere and am not a demanding bride, nor do I expect people to help me or follow a list.. that is not me and I don't know why people would assume the worst in other.  Just boggles my mind.  And now I feel like I have to defend myself here! That's the problem with the internet- it's hard to convey tone and context... I guess i should have just used my own common sense and realized that I already know what to talk to her about and don't need others help..I was just trying to be friendly that's all...

penaltyshot

StageManager, don't you have anything better to do than follow people around forums telling them to go back to where their question was already answered? jendawn came to ask if there are JEWISH things the MOH should know about, which she did not ask previously.

jendawn80

Thank you! 

Rachiemoo

I was going to say, I don't remember stagemanager ever posting here before.... I don't remember any specific Jewishy MOH duties. Basically my MOH did all of the normal things, a lot of which were posted in the other thread. She also helped plan my shower and a lot of the day of little things as well. Basically, I'd keep your MOH in the know about what is going on and see if she offers to help with things.

penaltyshot

I guess I should answer the question. LOLThe only things I needed during the wedding was to have them all show up with their dresses fitting (which was hard enough!), have them sign the ketubah and marriage license, one gave a toast (she asked if she could and I said sure), another was tasked with making sure I had Advil every 4 hours (because I have a bad hip). That was it. A few showed up to the showers my family and my Mom's friends threw. I don't think it's wrong to help out your MOH if she's never been in a wedding. The dresses became a bit of an issue because one of my bridesmaids didn't know her dress didn't come pre-hemmed and she had to get it done the night before!

Shoshie

Hi Jen, Maybe ask her to make sure certain things get to the synagogue -- or wherever your event is: the pen for ketubbah signing, the kiddush cup, the glass you will smash, etc. Also, the MOH typically puts together the emergency kit. I sent mine several links to articles since it was her first time, too and each wedding is different. During the ceremony, I had mine hold my bouquet (which was no easy task since I had my great-grandma's prayerbook wrapped with it).And BTW stagemanager --  XPing a question is not a crime.

october010bride

Also, depending on how you two are you could always ask her to be your ketubah witness (assuming she's Jewish).

jendawn80

Thanks girls, I'm basically going to keep her in the loop and if I think of any small things she may want to help with then I'll address it later. I'm basically taking care of it all with my mom and the coordinator. As far as the ketubah, I didn't think it could be signed by someone related to you. The rabbi said the 2 rules were that they had to be Jewish and unrelated.

silversparks

My MOHs were my sisters, and one of them lives in Israel, so I totally understand that the distance can make questions of organization and helpfulness more daunting. No judgement here. Their "Jewish" task was to organize the shtick (all the stuff people use to "entertain" the bride and groom - arches for our entrance, flags, funny signs, skipping ropes, etc.) Basically we gave them a list of our friends e-mails who we thought would be helpful and left it up to them to coordinate who had ideas and could bring what.

slbriz34

Ditto a lot of things already said.  I've had mine (who's my niece) come with me to pick out my dress and meet my DJ.  I run things by her like what she thinks of my invite idea, reception decorations ideas, etc., just to get another point of view while also keeping things hidden from FI and family (I want things to be as pleasant a surprise as possible). As far as day of, besides keeping me sane, she'll hold my bouquet during the ceremony, will witness the signing of the ketubah and state license, help me while we take pictures before hand.  And if someone needs to ask a question, she'll be the go-between as she'll be in the know. Good luck.

october010bride

You are right about the related part but she won't be related to you... just your fi. Obviously more observant rabbis will say no to that but I was the at my sisters wedding. I just signed for her hubby, since he had no other friends that were Jewish. Her rabbi was Conservative and didn't have any problem with it.