Jewish Weddings

co-officiating?

my fiance and I have decided to find a rabbi and a pastor co-officiate at our wedding as we both feel that religion is an important part of our life.  I've spent a lot of time and research to find a Rabbi who is willing to perform the ceremony with a pastor and willing to come to where we live (about a 4 hour drive from another state).  My fiance has yet to try and find a pastor.  I'm getting a little annoyed (we're still a year and a half out, but I do think the ceremony is pretty much the most important part of the day (obviously).  I have 3 cousins who are Rabbis, so we could certainly have had one of them perform the ceremony (for free!), so I feel like I've done a lot of work and he has yet to put any effort towards having his religion represented.  Other than that frustration, does anyone who is Jewish (and practicing) have experience meeting with a pastor to co-officiate?  what was the experience like?
Thanks

Re: co-officiating?

  • edited December 2011
    I can't speak about the experience, but as for the frustration with your FI, my brother had an interfaith ceremony.  A lot of times the Rabbi or Pastor will know someone of the other faith that they can co-officiate with.  That's how they found their Rabbi.
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  • 2ladytoo2ladytoo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the discussion - A pastor told us that no Rabbi will do an interfaith ceremony - we could use a cantor,but not a Rabbi - 

    we're in the beginning stages in finding officiates...
  • edited December 2011
    2ladytoo--I don't think it's true that no rabbi will co-officiate at an interfaith ceremony.  My understanding is that Conservative and Orthodox clergy will not officiate at interfaith ceremonies, but it's at the individual clergy member's discretion in the Reform and Reconstructionist movements (and of course, unaffiliated clergy).  While a cantor could probably do a lovely service (we're having a cantor), I wouldn't rule out rabbis for your Jewish officiant.  Have you seen websites like http://www.interfaithfamily.com/life_cycle/weddings.shtml?  There seems to be some referral services to find Jewish clergy that will officiate or co-officiate at an interfaith wedding.  Good luck!
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We found a wonderful rabbi (reformed) to co-officiate our ceremony--but it took many rejections before we found him.

    We hired a paid officiant to serve as our pastor.  There is a popular retired Lutheran pastor here in Dallas that is well known and used by many brides on my local board and he was wonderful also.  He had performed interfaith ceremonies before and he and our rabbi worked wonderfully together.  So it can be done, it just takes some looking.
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