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"tipping" the rabbi & cantor

ballandchain10ballandchain10 member
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
I'm very close to both rabbi & cantor, so I'd like to do something.  we are members of the congregation so I'd like to give something...

what is/how much is appropriate to give? 

do we give it before the ketubah signing, or have the best man give it after the ceremony?
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Re: "tipping" the rabbi & cantor

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    RachiemooRachiemoo member
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    edited December 2011
    I personally wouldn't feel comfortable tipping cash to either.  I'd just make a donation in their honor to the shul or some charity organization, or you could buy them a gift.  I just personally would think cash might be awkward and not appropriate for me.
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    alinaandjaredalinaandjared
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto- we made a donation to the rabbis' discretionary funds to be used for USY programming.
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    slbriz34slbriz34
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    edited December 2011

    Ditto and most won't take any cash or a direct monetary gift, expecting or requesting instead that you donate to the synagogue's (or their affilated synagogue's) discretionary fund.  If you'd like to get them something as a small gift just because, then I'd get them a small token gift, such as a lovely book they'd appreciate or something similar.


    I'm assuming they are also invited to the reception?  If so, then that will also be appreciated as they will be quite happy to be a part of your simcha.

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    Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
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    edited December 2011
    The rabbi is charging us $500 to officiate at our wedding, so I will NOT be giving a gift nor tip.  However, I will be inviting him and his wife to the reception.
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    ballandchain10ballandchain10 member
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    edited December 2011
    thanks for your help!

    ok to be more specific

    -Rabbi will not be attending reception, although he and wife were invited
    -Cantor and hubby are attending reception (and she is singing during ceremony)
    -I adore them both, and have studied with them over the year (I converted recently)

    Is $100.00 each appropriate to their rabbi's/cantor's funds?

    or $100 rabbi/$50.00 cantor...

    sorry to be so tied up on the money part of this...just trying to do what is right. 
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    RachiemooRachiemoo member
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    edited December 2011
    I think whatever you want to give will be appreciated.

    Our Rabbi did our wedding for free and we donated $500 in his honor to the non profit organization that he works for.
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    slbriz34slbriz34
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    edited December 2011
    Our rabbi is charging $500 (will go to discretionary fund) and we are inviting him and his wife (I think they may go).  It was because of him that we joined our current synagogue and I've worked with him for a long time, so it made sense that he would marry us, so I get what you are saying.

    But I still would think it awkward to pay him cash. If you are so inclined, your choice sounds reasonable.
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    Rita0904Rita0904 member
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    edited December 2011
    Hey all, I am a bride in NJ and I have been having trouble finding a rabbi for my wedding. My fiance and I are both Jewish but he is agnostic. Could you guys please give me some suggestions or names of the rabbi's that you guys used or will use. Thanks Rita
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