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Jewish Weddings

Mikvah

Did you go?  Why or why not?

I'm trying to decide...I only know a little bit about the ritual...my wedding is in 19 days. 

Re: Mikvah

  • tiny27tiny27 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I will probably go even though i am not really religious. 
  • edited December 2011
    I did not go because I had never gone before and had no plans on continuing after the wedding. For me, it was would have been meritless.
  • edited December 2011
    oh goodness- its alina (alinaandjared) no idea why my user name in the post above came up in all numbers!!
  • edited December 2011
    I thought about doing it and my rabbi certainly pressed me to do it, but for different reasons which had I done it, it would have had nothing to do with his urging.  I really wound up having no time to do it anyway but my feeling was, even though I wanted to go into the chuppah feeling new and ready for the next stage in my life, because I don't plan to visit on a regular basis, why start on a bit of a false note. 
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not sure if I will do it. To be honest, not sure if I will have time.

    A few of my friends have done it though, even though they have never done it before. All of their reasonings were that it is a beautiful ritual and it just adds to the specialness (totally not a word, lol) of the wedding.

    Also, the mikvah center near me is gorgeous and serene, which adds to the overall spirituality of everything.
    image
  • sari5765sari5765 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I still haven't decided if I'm going to go after the wedding regularly, but I'm definitely going before. I like the idea of beginning my new life with a fresh start. We're making a party of it, instead of having the traditional American style bachelorette party, which doesn't really appeal to me. 
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  • Mish2gMish2g member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm going! This Friday, actually. And, I plan to continue going after I'm married. There's something to this whole religious thing that just makes sense -- the 2 weeks of no touching before the mikvah...the suspense that builds the day that you go to the mikvah...it's just so unlike any secular marriage out there. The sex will NEVER get old because you only have 2 weeks a month to do it!
    You should find a rabbi's wife who is knowlegable in this area and learn more about it. It's really a beautiful thing and it spritiually "re-virginizes" you. You will never be with anyone the way you'll be with your husband, and the mikvah reminds you of that since youre purifying yourself (and by that I mean purifying yourself from the potential life you had the opportunity to have created, but didnt) for him and because HaShem says so. (I have a fabulous rebbetzin who is FULL of groovy information!!)
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  • lachlomlachlom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm Orthodox so going to the mikvah monthly is sort of in the cards :) I think it's a very beautiful mitzvah and a lovely thing to do!
  • edited December 2011
    I went. Like the previous poster, I'm Orthodox and it was in the cards, but I felt like I was planning so much time thinking about the wedding and planning the wedding, and I enjoyed taking a few hours in the middle of the last minute prepartions (I went the Thursday before my Sunday wedding) to spiritually prepare myself for my marriage.
    I do think that learning with someone knowledgeable enhanced the experience for me because I understood what I was doing and why.
  • edited December 2011
    I really want to go though I don't plan to go monthly.  It's a beautiful thing to do before the wedding.  I am struggling, however, because my wedding will be reform, and I do not know of any nearby mikveh that are not orthodox.  Apparently,they will not allow you go to in if you are not being married by an orthodox rabbi (I think this is ridiculous).
    So, I don't know if I'll go or not..
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  • razdazzlerazdazzle member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    AROD - I feel the same way, but I am struggling with the value of only going once if at this time I don't plan to go monthly.... Just can't decide and I haven't put enough time into really studying about the ritual.

    "Apparently,they will not allow you go to in if you are not being married by an orthodox rabbi (I think this is ridiculous).
    So, I don't know if I'll go or not.." 

    --- really?  the only one near me is orthodox, but I'm pretty sure you can still go if you are not....
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_mikvah-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:7a755c51-abbc-40a5-9142-bbdf50de4ce9Post:286fe107-8bc6-49cc-9483-059584227560">Re: Mikvah</a>:
    [QUOTE]I really want to go though I don't plan to go monthly.  It's a beautiful thing to do before the wedding.  I am struggling, however, because my wedding will be reform, and I do not know of any nearby mikveh that are not orthodox.  Apparently,they will not allow you go to in if you are not being married by an orthodox rabbi (I think this is ridiculous). So, I don't know if I'll go or not..
    Posted by ARod22[/QUOTE]

    I don't know where in South Fla you are, but I'm in West Palm. My rabbi told me that if I wanted to go on a monthly basis I could use the Orthodox mikvah down here, but that they wouldn't allow it to be used for a non-orthodox conversion (such as mine, which will be conservative). So my conversion mikvah will be in the intracoastal.   I'm not sure where they land on using it before marriage, but it seems to me they'd treat that more like the monthly visits than the conversion?
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  • edited December 2011
    Remember, as long as it meets the requirements, any major body of water will serve as a mikveh, so if you are facing someone or someplace not allowing you to use the mikveh, screw 'em.  Get a few folks, go to the beach or other area, get into a somber mode, and enter and say the blessings.  It's what you make of it, not being in some building, that adds the true value.
  • edited December 2011
    I am going as well. The wife of our Rabbi does a really lovely mikvah for brides that everyone always raves about. I'm actually looking forward to it...is that weird?
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_mikvah-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:399Discussion:7a755c51-abbc-40a5-9142-bbdf50de4ce9Post:d8f5a7e6-3e66-4775-b837-0ed44163aace">Re: Mikvah</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mikvah : I don't know where in South Fla you are, but I'm in West Palm. My rabbi told me that if I wanted to go on a monthly basis I could use the Orthodox mikvah down here, but that they wouldn't allow it to be used for a non-orthodox conversion (such as mine, which will be conservative). So my conversion mikvah will be in the intracoastal.   I'm not sure where they land on using it before marriage, but it seems to me they'd treat that more like the monthly visits than the conversion?
    Posted by ciaraman[/QUOTE]

    I live in WPB too!  How funny... Orthodox rabbis (no offense to anyone here) are a little bit, well, stuck on their own customs for marriage and normally do not wish to condone another movement's "way" of conducting the ceremony, even if it is almost exactly the same. I may just have to go to the beach but I'm so nervous about that... dunking my head underwater in the ocean at night, that is.  I don't know why..
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  • edited December 2011
    Hmm, maybe this is my "not-Jewish-yet" coming out, but I didn't know the mikvah had to be at night? I can understand why that would be unnerving.

    Which synagogue do you go to in WPB? My FI and I just started going to Temple Beth David up in Gardens.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ciaraman, don't feel bad, I am conservative and had no idea that you were supposed to go to the mikvah at all!  We've had 4 meetings with our rabbi and he didn't mention it once.
  • BocaSueBocaSue member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    if you go and its your first time, tell the Mikvah attendant that it is your first time and that you are a bride.  They will be able walk you through the process and make it special.  You might also want to take a friend with you - I've seen whole wedding parties in there.

    Whatever you decide, congratulations!
    Proud employee of Best Wishes of Boca. We have wedding registries, jewelry, china, and collectibles. http://www.bestwishes.net
  • BocaSueBocaSue member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi Ciaraman,

    You don't have to go to a Mikvah at night.  Most have night hours just for convience sakes.

    About going to a body of water... I'd say if its your first time, do a little research, find a nice and clean Mikvah and be guided through the process.  Some people really love it.
    Proud employee of Best Wishes of Boca. We have wedding registries, jewelry, china, and collectibles. http://www.bestwishes.net
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