XP: Ketubah

Salsera29

My FSIL has generously offered to buy us a ketubah as a wedding gift. She told us to just pick one we like. I know nothing about them, and as I'm looking online, I'm seeing that they run anywhere from $80 to $500. Obviously we're not going to pick the most expensive one...should we just make sure we pick one closer to the lower end? Or should I ask FMIL what they "usually" cost? Or ask google? 

Mimmer04

You can spend upwards of several thousand dollars on a custom ketubah that is a a one of a kind piece of art.  Most ketubahs that you see in Jewish bookstores and online will be a few hundred dollars.  I would present your research to you FMIL, thank her again for her generosity, and simply ask her what her budget is.  Its better to know than to try to guess.  Even if you picked a less expensive one, say $200, if she was only expecting to pay $100, you still look bad.  Find out in advance, then go from there.

Salsera29

Ok that makes sense. It just seems so awkward to me to basically say, "Hey, how much did you want to spend on our gift?" I could pick a couple of different priced ones though and then ask her which one she likes best. Thanks for the advice!

P.S. Thousands! Wow. 

artikaur

Here's what I would say:

"Dear FSIL,

Thank you so much for generously offering to pay for our ketubah. Before we begin our search for a ketubah, could you give a price range that you would like us to be respectful of? I am very much looking forward to your help in picking out a ketubah that is perfect for us. I can't think of a more meaningful and heartfelt gift.

With love,

Salsera."

Alternatively, you can do as you suggest and pick a few (say, three) in various price ranges (e.g. $100, $300, $500), and see which one she gravitates more towards.

Salsera29

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_ketubah-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:8e1d7076-a2ed-4565-bcf2-297a901b9e5fPost:9590a40c-2de9-4f16-bad8-56973cdba47b">Re: XP: Ketubah</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's what I would say: "Dear FSIL, Thank you so much for generously offering to pay for our ketubah. Before we begin our search for a ketubah, could you give a price range that you would like us to be respectful of? I am very much looking forward to your help in picking out a ketubah that is perfect for us. I can't think of a more meaningful and heartfelt gift. With love, Salsera." Alternatively, you can do as you suggest and pick a few (say, three) in various price ranges (e.g. $100, $300, $500), and see which one she gravitates more towards.
Posted by artikaur[/QUOTE]

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</div><div>Thank you, that is much less awkward than what I wrote lol. I will show this to my FI and have him ask his sister :-) Thanks!!</div>

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings_ketubah-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:399Discussion:8e1d7076-a2ed-4565-bcf2-297a901b9e5fPost:9590a40c-2de9-4f16-bad8-56973cdba47b">Re: XP: Ketubah</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's what I would say: "Dear FSIL, Thank you so much for generously offering to pay for our ketubah. Before we begin our search for a ketubah, could you give a price range that you would like us to be respectful of?<strong> I am very much looking forward to your help in picking out a ketubah that is perfect for us. </strong>I can't think of a more meaningful and heartfelt gift. With love, Salsera." Alternatively, you can do as you suggest and pick a few (say, three) in various price ranges (e.g. $100, $300, $500), and see which one she gravitates more towards.
Posted by artikaur[/QUOTE]

Do you want her to help pick it out?  It sounds like she offered to pay for what you and your FI want.  I would ask her what she was thinking of spending, and that's it.  "We've noticed that there is quite a price range, so we were wondering what sort of budget we should stick to."   <div>
</div><div>I really enjoyed designing our ketubah with DH and the artist we worked with.  I would not have wanted another family member chiming in with her ideas about what represents us, our relationship, etc.</div>