So we found a venue and they have an on site caterer but they are not kosher. It just didn't make sense to us to continue to look for a venue which was most likely going to be even more expensive , to look for a caterer who going to have prep the food elsewhere and charge us for travel etc etc again more expensive.
We figured that we could do dairy and parave and be fine. My dad when he eats out gets fish. Well in the usual orthodox Jewish community an acquaintance of mine asked me about my venue, how far it was from Baltimore and the if the vendor was kosher?
I told her about the menu and she says " oh then we can't eat then"
I bought my dress which comes with a bolero , it has embellishment, it would never meet orthodox standards but it is not like we are having an orthodox wedding
My parents main concern was the finding someone to marry us. Jordan and i really like the rabbi from the conservative shul and he agreed to marry us. My mom asked about relationship classes and i told her that he didn't mention anything then she asked " have you told your dad your having a conservative wedding." I'm not sure how to answer that because they both know FI grew up Reform, he doesn't like separation of men and women in temple, does not want separate seating or dancing so why would a conservative wedding come as any shock.
On the other side of the coin I have to explain everything to my FIL. Not seeing each other for a week, the 2 rooms, the plate that gets broken , and a few other customs they are not familiar with.