mikvah?

jessicabessica

Did you go to the mikvah before your wedding?  I don't feel compelled from a religious perspective, but I'm considering it and looking to hear your experiences and why you did or did not go.  Thanks!

JoBell123

I'm curious as well.  This is something that I'm considering.

october010bride

I didn't go- I sort of ran out of time. But I was seriously considering it. There is a beautiful mikvah center near where I live (right outside Boston) and when I went with my friend, I thought it was a great experience.

She had her closest friends, mother and grandmother go with her. We took a tour of the site while she was completing the mikvah and when she was done we went out for dinner.

She seemed to really love it.

shirz903

I did. It was super important to me. I just thought it was a nice tradition and liked the idea of a 'clean slate' as I entered into the new chapter in my life. It turned out my shomeret was my Rabbi's wife which made me very comfortable. It was originally supposed to be a girl I went to high school with's mom, which was not cool for me, but I was comfortable when I got the rabbi's wife. I enjoyed the experience so much that I am thinking of going again as DH and I start fertility treatments as a sort of good luck thing. It was calming.

MrsMLRB

I've gone back and forth about it. In the end, I would have to convert to do it (my mom wasn't born Jewish) and I can't make up my mind about whether I want to do that or not.

Musicheals71

I didn't do it.  It wasn't necessary to me.

dharmalicious

I'm going the friday morning before my wedding.  I thought this would be a nice traditional thing to do in preperation for the wedding.  I really thing I doing more for the experience of it (i've never been before).  but i also like how it symbolizes the start of a new, married me. 

rlurie

I am trying to decide as well. I have family friends who have done it and said that it was an amazing experiance. One made a women's day out of it. They did breakfast, went to the mikvah and did a really nice ceremoney where all of the women in her life said a prayer for her and they they went to the spa for manicures and pedicures for the wedding.

For ideas on how to put together a ceremony that would be meaningful to you check out the book "The New Jewish Wedding". You can find it on amazon for pretty cheap.

reebsreebs

I went. And it was wonderful!!

I took my two best (jewish) girlfriends with me. They waited outside while I prepared, but I asked them to come in an witness, along with the mikvah lady.

The preparation time was literally the only time I had alone all weekend. And the mikvah itself was great. Water has a power in my life (i'm an open water swimmer) and seemed like a logical part of the ritual.

I'd used the mikvah before on Yom Kippur and have always loved it.  You can do it in any "living" body of water, so a lake or river is good, if you don't have a built mikvah near you  or don't want to do it there for political or religous reasons.

Most non-orthodox women won't use the mikvah regularly. This is a time you can try it with low risk. I really wish more progressive Jews would use mikvah, as it is a wonderfully powerful experience. There are so few of our rituals that are whole body like this. It is worth trying.

JoBell123

Random question, though - do you have to get fully undressed or can you keep some things on if you're a bit on the bashful side?

reebsreebs

You need to get fully undressed if you are going to an indoor mikvah.  That includes removing all make up, nail polish, earrings and other body piercings. You are to remove any removable dental work as well.

If you go in a river or lake, you can make your own rules.

mickeypotter

I went because my rabbi kind of pushed it on me. I'm so glad he did. It was a wonderful spiritual, relaxing, emotional experience. Highly recommend it

lachlom

I will be doing it and going monthly(as applicable ) post-wedding, which is typical of Orthodox practice.

I'm a little nervous just because I am not a big fan of being in the water(I rarely even go swimming), but it's also a special space in time just for you. For those who slant towards the religious side to ANY capacity, this is a time for you to speak your thoughts and prayers directly to God. It sounds amazing.

Danaz1

i went it didn't do anything for me.  It was just a pool.  I felt pushed from the rabbi and his wife.  Some people like it but I am not religious and it felt weird to me. 

Flagstones925

I'm getting married in August, and plan on going to the mikveh before the wedding. I live near a great mikveh in a suburb of Boston known for their encouragement of non-Orthodox women (and men) using mikveh for both monthly and special occasions. They have specially trained mikveh guides, who help you feel comfortable. I don't work for them or anything, just have been there a few times and love their work. I'm excited about going before the wedding, though a bit nervous as well.

shortee426

Late to this thread, but wanted to share...

I really wanted to go to the mikvah.  It was something I had kinda thought about for awhile and then when J had to go (he was adopted and there was no record of a mikvah so he had to "complete his conversion"), I told him I would go as well.  In the end it just didn't work out for me.  You are supposed to go after your period and unfortunately my period ended the day before my wedding.  If I wanted it bad enough I'm sure I could have arranged to go the morning of my wedding, but like PPs I just unfortunately ran out of time.  Now that it's all over, I am kinda sad that I didn't get to go.