We've just finished designing the invitations (yay!) but are not ordering them because of some family issues (boo).
As of right now, fi's sperm donor (biological dad but that's what fi has taken to calling him) and his wife names are listed on the invite (as they are rightfully his biological dad and stepmom) as well as my parents and his mom and step-dad (who he refers to as his dad).
Fi was not happy to see his sperm donor or his wife listed and wants them removed. For the last like six months he's been solid about not inviting him, which has caused alot of issues with his parental grandparents (who he is super close to as they practically raised him).
And I'm not sure what to do (other than be supportive of fi and his decision).
Backstory (SUPER LONG part): His parents got married when he was about three (he was the ringbear - this is revalent) but were always fighting and doing drugs (hence the grandparents raising him). They legally separated about four years ago but had a divorce done about two years ago (which is about when is half-sister was born). Fi had much resentment for his mother for leaving and had no relationship with her from the separation til about 18 months ago (maternal family was always present in his life though). His dad finally went for divorce because he had met someone (his now wife) who pushed for it.
After the divorce, sperm donor moved in with now-wife, kicking fi out (at 17) at which he moved in with my family. A little after our engagement (two years ago), sperm donor proposed to now-wife. At this point, fi and his mom reconnected and started over (and have been super close since then) which angered sperm donor. They planned their wedding after our initial date (last june). They then changed it to a Wednesday in February and fi was to be BM for sperm donor.
In February, fi came to visit me at school weekend before sperm donor and now-wife wedding (planned weekend since Christmas break that both families knew about) . Fi gets a call from sperm donor half hour after departure time (again known about) saying that he and now-wife were getting married on Sunday (of said weekend that fi was not to return until Monday) and that fi must return to attend (now-wife coaching speech in background). Fi said no, and came up to see me anyways (I did not know about it until he got there) because this had been planned first and everyone knew. Well, sperm donor holds resentment from that (I don't blame him entirely). Fi and sperm donor patch things up to be civil to one another until last Christmas break.
Day after Christmas, we are babysitting half-sister which paternal grandparents wish to see (consider their grandchild as with like 7 other grandchildren). We take half-sister over at which sperm donor and now-wife show up (unannounced) and begin arguing with grandparents that half-sister shouldn't be there because it hurts sperm donor and that half-sister doesn't belong. We decide to take half-sister and leave until sperm donor and now-wife leave (parental grandparents ended up kicking them out right after we left) and returning later.
Since then, despite fi trying to move on and be civil with sperm donor (when we are not able to avoid interactions - such as at church and family gatherings), fi has been disowned by sperm donor (yet sperm donor will complain and degrudge fi to paternal grandparents for fi not talking/visiting/etc. to him). Paternal grandmother is trying to force fi and sperm donor to interact (such as invite to wedding). Sperm donor and now-wife throw hissy fits about paternal grandparents doing anything for half-sister (such as giving her birthday money as they do with all the grandchildren - related or not).
Earlier question remains (what to do).
CN: Sperm donor and mother have estrangled relationship that has costed fi a one-or-the-other relationship. Sperm donor holds resentment for fi on not attending spure-of-the-moment marriage/elopement on known OOT visit with me. Sperm donor disowns fi after we bring half-sister (by FMIL) to visit his paternal grandparents (as per their request as they have reconnected with FMIL). Sperm donor and now-wife throw hissy fits about paternal family having relationship with FMIL and her family. Paternal grandmother is trying to force fi and sperm donor to interact together and pushes for sperm donor and now-wife to attend our wedding although Fi has since given up any relationship with sperm donor and now-wife.