My dad is going to S***!!!

futuremrsbecerra

So the guests who have said they are coming to the wedding is WAY TOO MANY more then Fi and I expected. I'm so scared to tell my dad the number this weekend bc we need to pay the cake and caterer and knowing we are paying per person... he is going to have a heart attack or S*** himself. lol

Anyone have any suggestions or advice on how to prepare or tell my dad? lol

Ash61612

I don't have any advice but this is why you never invite more then you can afford. It puts the person who is paying in a real bind. Can your FI and you offer to help pay some?

littleluckypenny

I don't really understand.  When inviting that many people, did you go over the numbers and know that if everyone came, you would be spending xx total?  So anything less than that is like saving money.  Was he not comfortable with the amount of guests on the list?

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:dee3b0d6-6e45-471f-a619-c460a7ace1af">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have any advice but this is why you never invite more then you can afford. It puts the person who is paying in a real bind. Can your FI and you offer to help pay some?
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

This exactly. I have never understood this....

HilareyL

I agree with PPs-  if you can't afford for everyone to come on your guest list then don't invite them- especially when you're not paying!

kimiandgary

You are in a bind and hindsight is 20/20. I'm not sure how you can lessen the blow other than offer to help pay. Can all these people fit in your venue?

P.S. If I called my dad "Daddy" as a grown woman I would feel manipluative and 12. I'd smack myself if someone else didnt...

CvilleClaire

There's an easy solution: FI and you should pool some money and offer to help.  Even if you can't absorb a significant part of the cost, I think it would be a mature move to offer what you can.

melntaitt

Thread jack!

CVilleClaire - 8 days to go! Can you see the finish line???

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:13b4c9c9-8e21-4463-a088-61e1119665bf">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE] P.S. If I called my dad "Daddy" as a grown woman I would feel manipluative and 12. I'd smack myself if someone else didnt...
Posted by kimiandgary[/QUOTE]

Depends on the culture.  Where I'm from EVERYONE calls their father daddy or pops, even grown men do this.  Everyone calls their mother mommy or ma. 

No one says mom or dad. 

HarperBargo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:dee3b0d6-6e45-471f-a619-c460a7ace1af">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have any advice but this is why you never invite more then you can afford. It puts the person who is paying in a real bind. Can your FI and you offer to help pay some?
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

This. If you have added guests then you really should help pay. Fi and I are big numbers people and planned for everyone to come so we had a set budget.

kimiandgary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:f33a8e1d-27b2-4b7d-bccc-abc641a4c75a">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My dad is going to S***!!! : Depends on the culture.  Where I'm from EVERYONE calls their father daddy or pops, even grown men do this.  Everyone calls their mother mommy or ma.  No one says mom or dad. 
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

I know and didn't mean to offend. I guess I should have said, don't patronize your father because you feel bad or play the "I'm your little girl" card. Buck up and face the problem head on.

MiksChick23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:e2c90916-0491-44ea-934c-0a05dd067472">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My dad is going to S***!!! : I know and didn't mean to offend. I guess I should have said, don't patronize your father because you feel bad or play the "I'm your little girl" card. Buck up and face the problem head on.
Posted by kimiandgary[/QUOTE]

Agreed! Didn't you discuss a budget in the beginning and figure out how much it would cost with 100% attendance? This really shouldn't be a shocker b/c he should have prepared for that much. If not, buck up and help pay...

diamondx423

Bring a bottle of whisky (or whatever he drinks)...

CvilleClaire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:e359cc4f-f64d-417e-a861-e700365e91ba">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thread jack! CVilleClaire - 8 days to go! Can you see the finish line???
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]
YES!  Little things are poping up, but someone prepared me for that.  All is going smooth.  :)

melntaitt

I hope for your sake that he's a very forgiving sort; I know that no matter how much I prepare my dad for that he would sh*t a giant brick. It's too late to go back now, but I would definitely over-budget than fall short.

I would just be honest and forth-coming about it though; you should also be prepared for him to say he's staying firm on his budget and prepare to cover any overages....

skybrie

My FSIL did this last year.   How many are you over?  like 10 or like 25?

There is not much you can do but ask nicely and plan to pay the difference if he doesn't offer to pay.

PS - I am 29 and still call my father "Daddy"

kelsey+brandon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:31c29781-e598-4ea7-ab54-218627a5c428">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My dad is going to S***!!! : YES!  Little things are poping up, but someone prepared me for that.  All is going smooth.  :)
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm so glad you'll be back from your honeymoon to do a recap with at least 2 weeks left before my wedding!! I can't wait to hear ALL about it!!!</div>

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:e2c90916-0491-44ea-934c-0a05dd067472">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My dad is going to S***!!! : I know and didn't mean to offend. I guess I should have said, don't patronize your father because you feel bad or play the "I'm your little girl" card. Buck up and face the problem head on.
Posted by kimiandgary[/QUOTE]

No offense Kimi :)  None at all!

I sometimes say "hi father" and his response is "hi daughter".  Now I'm missing my dad...but he'll be here soon!

OP, did your dad say he was paying for things, or did he say you have xx amount to spend?  Either way, if you invited more than he wanted you and FI need to pay for the overages.  I hope the amount of people coming doesn't also push you over seating capacity with the venue.

melntaitt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:c08dc4cf-5a94-406d-965d-e2f3be6cb0a7">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My dad is going to S***!!! : No offense Kimi :)  None at all! I sometimes say "hi father" and his response is "hi daughter".  <strong>Now I'm missing my dad...but he'll be here soon!</strong> OP, did your dad say he was paying for things, or did he say you have xx amount to spend?  Either way, if you invited more than he wanted you and FI need to pay for the overages.  I hope the amount of people coming doesn't also push you over seating capacity with the venue.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

I know the feeling; mine are coming in tomorrow and I can't tell you how excited I am!!!! FI's mom is looking forward to their arrival too - you saw how the families get along, they love each other!

Pepsilady

I'm 48 going on 49 and at times I call my Dad "Daddy" (he's 76). especially when there's a dead mouse in my kitchen (or anywhere else in the house)  and I need him to come over and get rid of it.

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_scared-to-tell-my-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0b2e9a66-877e-46e7-9108-8c94af119e33Post:dee3b0d6-6e45-471f-a619-c460a7ace1af">Re: My dad is going to S***!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have any advice but this is why you never invite more then you can afford. It puts the person who is paying in a real bind. Can your FI and you offer to help pay some?
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

Agreed.