Dress and Mom vent. Long.

AshnRobo

Friday I went by myself and tried on a few dresses. I had a list of dresses that would work for our plan to add roses at the bottom. I included a couple of short dresses and one crazy dress just for kicks.

All of the chiffon dresses were lovely. I liked them all. They were out of stock on the short dresses, but the had the crazy one.

I fell in love with the crazy one. So the consultant took a photo of me to show my mom. I left absolutely smitten. I've bought a wedding dress before, but I've never had the "OMG this is the one!" moment until Friday.

So I go meet my mom for dinner. I tell her all about it and show her the photo. Her response? "It's nice, but you're going to have to lose a lot of weight for it to look good."

Thanks mom. I feel super.

Like, I know I need to lose weight. That's why I'm dieting and exercising. That's why I'm working on it.

Now, I don't even want the dress. I feel like if I get it every time I put it on all I'm going to hear is what she said. Even if I get to my goal weight I feel like that is all I will hear. Especially if I don't get to my goal weight.

I'm back to not wanting to shop for a dress at all. I even want to cancel the wedding and do a JOP ceremony with just FI and I.

Just sad is all I guess.

Edit to include dress: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Taffeta-Ball-Gown-with-Floral-Appliques-on-Skirt-SV415

57rainbows

That would hurt my feelings too! I'm the one telling myself i need to lose weight for my dress to look good, and it still puts a damper on things. If someone else even hinted at it, I would be crushed and like you say, not even want to bother with it anymore.

If you want, you could post the picture for us? We are all brides, we all have body issues, we will understand and I'm *sure* you still look awesome. Seriously - your FI fell in love with you the way you are. He thinks you're beautiful, and I'm sure you are. I'm not the slim sillouette that's popular now days; FI says there isn't an inch of me that is *not* curvy. But he loves that! He'd be sad if I looked like one of those bridal models, 6'ft and 100 lbs or whatever they are.

Don't feel like you're less somehow because you don't look like someone else's ideal of beauty, and don't let anyone else make you feel that way either. You are the standard of beauty for your fiance and I hope for youself too.

GApeachOH

She is probably just being the devil's advocate. Don't let it get you down.
Can you post the picture of you in it? I love that dress and almost suggested it to you. I tried it on and aparently ball gowns aren't meant for me. If you want it, and that's the one, then get it. And work towards your goal with a new found reason to. Not because your mother told you you are fat, or implied it.
Honey, you are beautiful!
I had the same things going through my head and ended up with a dress I liked first then a dress I effing LOVE because I put myself first, not everyone else.

GApeachOH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:12f353c1-aa8d-4e83-8b1a-03e9b187e574">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long. : It is on my iPad at home so I could post it after I get home. Thanks though. I am trying to not let her ruin it...I really did love the way I felt in the dress. Its just now when I think about it all I think of is what she said...
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

Oh boo....
This is your moment to shine. Get it, look amazing. Feel amazing, and shove it in everyone's face!

MMRoberts11

Definitely don't let her ruin it.  If you had a reaction like that with the dress then get it.  Maybe the picture was at an awkward angle or something, or your mom wanted to be there with you.  Either way, I'm sure it looks great. 

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:12f353c1-aa8d-4e83-8b1a-03e9b187e574">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long. : It is on my iPad at home so I could post it after I get home. Thanks though. I am trying to not let her ruin it...I really did love the way I felt in the dress. Its just now when I think about it all I think of is what she said...
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

Yes- please post pics tonight. I would LOVE to see how gorgeous you look. :) And think how ripped your arms will look in it when we finish the Hundred Push Up Challenge six weeks from now! :)

niecie_jeff

I love that dress, I bet you look awesome in it! Please post pictures tonight for all of us to see

I am sorry your mom reacted like that. I understand how it hurts. When I was trying on dresses, my mom was like "Oh thats nice" about dresses that looked like crap on me. When I tried on "The one" mom was like "Well, its pretty, but you have a lot of weight to lose before you could pull it off" I went home and felt like crap for a few days. when I looked at the pictures the next day, I realized that I looked good in the gown and my mom will have to get over it. When we went back to buy it, my mom was more supportive of me. Maybe take her and go try it on if you can and she will see how amazing it looks on you

laurabub

That dress looks like a knockout   You'll look beautiful on your wedding day.  Just keep thinking positive and do what is best for YOU! 

Megbo2012

I'm sorry Ash.  Get the dress.

FWIW my Mom reminded me, "Well you know that you can't gain any weight with this dress" because if fit snug as a glove (perfectly).  Thanks Mom. It may have been a joke but still I was like whaaa...?

Sarah0335

If you love the dress than get it.  I am sure it looks fabulous!  I would try to not let your mother's comment bother you too much.  My mother will say things like that somethines too.  I think parents think they are being helpful when really it just hurts.

It is your wedding dress and I am sure you will look fabulous in it no matter what you weigh when you get married!

melfacto

That dress is beautiful and I am certain you look fabulous in it! Can't wait to see the photos later!

chelseakopperud

I am SO sorry that your mom responded that way. DO NOT LET HER RUIN IT FOR YOU!!!! Can you post the pic of you in it? I am sure you look WONDERFUL! I think the dress is so gorgeous!!

AshnRobo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:02470239-cd33-43a3-9fe2-908b50c1d04e">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am SO sorry that your mom responded that way. DO NOT LET HER RUIN IT FOR YOU!!!! Can you post the pic of you in it? I am sure you look WONDERFUL! I think the dress is so gorgeous!!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

It is on my iPad at home so I could post it after I get home.

Thanks though. I am trying to not let her ruin it...I really did love the way I felt in the dress. Its just now when I think about it all I think of is what she said...

kelsey+brandon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:02470239-cd33-43a3-9fe2-908b50c1d04e">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am SO sorry that your mom responded that way. DO NOT LET HER RUIN IT FOR YOU!!!! Can you post the pic of you in it? I am sure you look WONDERFUL! I think the dress is so gorgeous!!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

I agree with Chels. Get the dress. I'm sure you look gorgeous in it, no matter what size you are!

AshnRobo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:128576e6-4ada-4e70-931c-f3bd0164f095">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]I love that dress, I bet you look awesome in it! Please post pictures tonight for all of us to see :) I am sorry your mom reacted like that. I understand how it hurts. When I was trying on dresses, my mom was like "Oh thats nice" about dresses that looked like crap on me. When I tried on "The one" mom was like <strong>"Well, its pretty, but you have a lot of weight to lose before you could pull it off" I</strong> went home and felt like crap for a few days. when I looked at the pictures the next day, I realized that I looked good in the gown and my mom will have to get over it. When we went back to buy it, my mom was more supportive of me. Maybe take her and go try it on if you can and she will see how amazing it looks on you :)
Posted by niecie_jeff[/QUOTE]

That's almost exactly what she said! I'm glad you got it. Maybe I will get it and hopefully she will be more supportive like your mom eventually was.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I will post the photo tonight.

@Chels- The comment did make me push harder to get in more on my max reps!

Zimsgirl

Wow that was confusing to read because TK got everything out of order again! Grrr

Anyways if you love the dress then get it. If you're going to feel uncomfortable when you put it on and think of what your mom said then maybe go with your number 2 choice? I just wouldn't let it get to you if that's possible. You're going to look beautiful on your wedding day no matter what

niecie_jeff

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_dress-mom-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0ccf7818-a0c6-41ca-8b73-d3f6ef8bdc04Post:d1cac72b-875b-490d-b300-1f98ca525ebe">Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dress and Mom vent. Long. :<strong> That's almost exactly what she said! I'm glad you got it. Maybe I will get it and hopefully she will be more supportive like your mom eventually was.</strong> Thanks everyone for the kind words. I will post the photo tonight. @Chels- The comment did make me push harder to get in more on my max reps!
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I say go for it! You said you feel amazing in the dress and that is a biggie! As long as your happy with it, is all that matters. And imagine how awesome you will look in your wedding pictures!! 

</div>

franklissa

Aww hugs, I'm sorry your mom made that comment to you. Don't let her bring down your joy of finding the dress that you love. I'm sure it looked faboulous on you.

SheilaDancer43

I'm so sorry your mom said that! I love that dress, and I'm sure you look beautiful in it. But most importantly, you said you FEEL good in it! Don't let her discourage you...I say get it if you feel like it's your dress!

khafner2

FWIW...I love the dress and know you will look beautiful in it!!

mrspatnou

I feel your pain... Like others don't let your mom and anyone else runin these months for you. It is your day, dress, etc. I am having dress issues with my mom too. I tried on the dress and loved it but it was way out of my price range. Enjoy it!

TeamMoriarty

i can't wait to see you in the dres ash, i'm sure you look gorgeous!!