My wedding was disappointing

LJones7883

My wedding was last Saturday and it sucked...hard! I cried all day Sunday and I'm trying not to cry now as I type this. Let's start from the beginning...My groom tells me two days before the wedding that we're not going on a honeymoon after months of promising me a surprise. My photographer, who's also my FIL, was two hours late to take my pictures. So I have no shots of me and my girls getting ready. He didn't take that many pics of us and for some strange reason took way too many pics of my sister and her daughter. Yes, I love them both dearly but it was MY wedding. The pastor completely ruined the ceremony. He mispronounced my name; He had my stepdad at the alter for half of the ceremony; He was so unorganized. It took so much for me to not stop the ceremony and tell him to start over. My groom didn't even get my ring sized. I can't even wear it because it will fall off.

I almost passed out during photo sessions after the ceremony (It was 106 degrees outside) so we had to cut it short. That means I don't have any of the shots I really wanted.

Moving forward, we had about 30 people not show. We could have invited other people that really wanted to be apart of our day. I told people not to bring their kids and my groom cut out close friends so we could have some of these people there. Speaking of my groom, he only danced with me twice-first and last dance. People kept asking why he wasn't with me; I was so embarrassed.

This was the biggest disappointment of my life. I feel like the biggest loser that ever lived.

I will say that even though I am unhappy I still appreciate everyone who helped out. My aunt made everything so beautiful. Both of our parents did a lot for our wedding. My sister kept me calm. My bridesmaids stepped up when I needed them to.

It wasn't all bad but it hurts to have your dreams crushed. I just wanted simple things and it makes me feel so pathetic because I couldn't even get that. I don't even want to be around people because I don't want to talk about that wedding. I have canceled lunch with his family and going out with my cousin. I'm very depressed now and I don't know when I'll get over this. It's just sad.

Here are a few pics that people put on facebook

 
 

Ash61612

I'm sorry all that happened but just remember, at the end of the day, you married the man you love right?

SoSaysTara

Girl, you need to focus on the positives and let it go.

Sucks that you didn't get everything you dreamed of, but there's nothing that can be done now.  Dwelling on it will not help you and WILL sour your marriage.

What went well at your wedding?  At the end of the day, are you married?  Is this what you wanted?

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_my-wedding-was-disappointing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:0f12d07f-c07a-4c2d-bfc8-3b713504fa1fPost:e12e57c7-5752-452b-a61c-79aa066fd6e2">Re: My wedding was disappointing</a>:
[QUOTE]Girl, you need to focus on the positives and let it go. Sucks that you didn't get everything you dreamed of, but there's nothing that can be done now.  Dwelling on it will not help you and WILL sour your marriage. What went well at your wedding?<strong>  At the end of the day, are you married?  Is this what you wanted?</strong>
Posted by SoSaysTara[/QUOTE]

I also wondered this.....

MoonlightSilver

Since you had so many problems with pictures, you might want to look into a Wear it One More Time / Trash the Dress session with a local photographer that isn't a family member. They can be tons of fun, and since you'll already be married, you wont have to worry so much about getting your dress dirty.

Edit: this isn't to say that you can re-do your wedding, or make it perfect- and you shouldn't want to, either. You have to focus on the good, positive parts of the day. 

melntaitt

It has to be hard putting that much effort into something only to have it collapse under you; but like most pps said, the most productive thing you can do at this point is focus on the positive aspects of your day!

In the pic above you look gorgeous and happy; I hope that you can focus more on those moments going forward.

Words to live by: it doesn't have to be perfect to be special.

tgerl

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.  I agree with a prior post that you should book another photo session with a different photographer and get the shots you want.  Even though it's an extra cost, it is worth it if you will feel better about it.

Have you talked to the groom?  Sounds like he dropped the ball on the honeymoon, ring, etc.  Hopefully he understands that he upset you and you two can work through this.

[Deleted User]

I would be so hurt also. I agree that it's important to focus on the positive, but it's totally fair to grieve the dissapointing parts also! I think most brides feel some dissapointment at some point during the event...not everything can go 100% as planned.

Consider planning a late honeymoon...and a 5 year vow renewal ceremony...look forward to a new dream to help 'make up' for what you missed this time around!

tyleet87

I'm sorry those things happened and that you felt the day was terrible, but like the others said, at the end of the day you were still married to the person you want to spend your life with!

Did your H give you a reason why the HM was canceled? Was your pastor at the rehearsal?

Danidawn20

In Response to Re:My wedding was disappointing:[QUOTE]Girl, you need to focus on the positives and let it go.Sucks that you didn't get everything you dreamed of, but there's nothing that can be done now.nbsp; Dwelling on it will not help you and WILL sour your marriage.What went well at your wedding?nbsp; At the end of the day, are you married?nbsp; Is this what you wanted? Posted by SoSaysTara[/QUOTE]

This you got married so focus on that ...you are now.a.wife :

2012FutureMrsB

I also had about 30 people not show up who had RSVP'd yes (out of 110), plus another 10 you came to the wedding, but not the reception. We ended up having a few tables with only like 2 or 3 people (they held 8) and some tables that were packed. It looked really awkward, but I found out later that those who stayed had a good time. 

However, they also left after dinner, leaving only about 30-40 people left. We danced a few dances, cut the cake, and called it an early night. Honeslty, I was very let down and still have a hard time letting go, but those who mattered the most were there with me to support us and celebrate. And we're husband and wife! So that's what I focus on.

My photographer got there an hour early and then informed me that she was going to leave early b/c the contract was only for x-hours. I was irritated, but what could I do? I also have not received a single pic from her and am still waiting on the engagement photos too! It's been 4 weeks since the wedding. She even promised a few "sneak peaks" I could post on FB, but I've got nada from her.

No matter how much you plan, you just can't control everything. Don't blame yourself. Enjoy being married and let it go.

kiki1978

FutureMrsB:  I had read your post about people leaving early right after your wedding. I remember because our dresses are the same except mine has a red sash.  I thought I would share with you that our wedding reception was very simliar to yours. Everyone kept leaving early. I totally understand because it was 95 degrees out and we had everything outside, but it still hurt.  We wound up ending our reception an hour and a half early because only 25 people were left.  It bothered me, but we had a wondeful day and I married the man of my dreams, so I'm ok with it now.

2012FutureMrsB

Kiki - I remember you sharing that. I had to come to the same conclusion: I married the man I love and now we're happily husband and wife! I'm ok with it too. It is was it is

. . . but . . . we also started discussing ideas for a 5-yr vow renewal that would be the "true" dream wedding we wanted originally with just a few close friends and family, haha. We'll see if that actually happens, but it would be kinda nice. 

charbakes

I'm sorry your wedding was what you wanted it to be, but more importantly you're married! That's the real prize. Is all that stuff worth still crying over?