EXPIRED

niecie_jeff

If you know there will be issues with them why do you keep talking about this with them? Call her bluff and move on. We were having issues with my FMIL saying she would not go to the wedding if she has to sit on the front row with FSMIL or if her brother wasn't invited to the wedding. For both of these demands my response was " Sorry you will miss out." All of a sudden she will be there. She knows she will not controll me nor FI and will learn to deal...and if not, it's not my problem any more.

littleluckypenny

I'm so sorry FMIL and Grandma are putting you through this.  I can understand if they had a problem with YOU, as a person, and was boycotting the wedding under those terms, but to not want to attend your son/grandson's wedding because they FEEL you dress inappropriately (which I don't think you do) is utterly shameful and silly. 

As PPs said, only talk to them when absolutely necessary.  Call their bluff. I also don't think you need to keep shopping for clothes the please them.  They need to get over it.  Has your style of dress always been an issue, like from the first time they met you? 

Maybe walk down the aisle in a black bar (well, white, since it is a wedding) over the exposed area, like they do in newspapers   (just kidding)

Hope it all works out.

leighcd

Agree with everyone's comments.   Your actions now will set the tone for you and your husband's life together.  

precamies

she is acting very immature. I would stop playing by her rules at this point. no more sending her pictures of what you buy, no more even buying new stuff. enough is enough. like PP said, just stop talking to her. if she decided that not to come to the wedding over a cardigan, well, too bad. I'm glad that your FI is on your side about this one.

peachykeen26

So, something just dawned on me.

FMIL's stress about this "dress code" is all stemming from HER mommy. This leads me to believe that FMIL never set boudaries with HER mother. This is just the way she is.

FMIL seems to feed on every word her mother says and on her every demand. 

I think you need to just calmly explain to your FMIL that its not going to work that way anymore and then be done.

Do not feed into her rules and regulations. 

When all else fails, a simple Bless Your Heart is all that is necessary.

And, yes, I agree with PP's. If FI hadn't called and egged it on, then it probably wouldn't have blown up. I know that you are under a lot of stress, but you cannot let this continue. Cut her off and cut her out.

I have no relationship with ANY of my family at all. You have to make your own decisions. So do it.

But, remember this is a public forum and when your name is googled, this does come up. 

I say that to protect you as you do a lot of venting and complaining.

Pray about it.

CvilleClaire

Did I mention dementia in the last thread you started?  I honestly think granny has dementia.  That would explain the dramatic change in behavior.

Now Mom...you just need to lock down your mouths and stop playing with her. 

niecie_jeff's post is gold.

Melissa603

"Sorry you won't be attending. We would love to get together to share photos when we get back. Perhaps dinner?"

melntaitt

I would not even talk to them; it seems very stressful and unnecessary.

Isn't it time to act on what's best for you, FI and your wedding? I can appreciate that you need to vent but it doesn't seem like you're doing anything constructive to change it. I have had that MIL from hell from a previous relationship and I can tell you that just FI and yourself giving bare boned answers and ignoring her will give you the best results.

If you truly want to fix this, then just stop talking to her. And a great way to shut her up - stop taking her money. Upgrade or not, insisting or not, just stop because it's giving her a ton of power.

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:3eac066a-90e3-4506-9297-3356277a7cd3">Re: MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]Did I mention dementia in the last thread you started?  I honestly think granny has dementia.  That would explain the dramatic change in behavior. Now Mom...you just need to lock down your mouths and stop playing with her.  niecie_jeff's post is gold.
Posted by CvilleClaire[/QUOTE]

<div>Like</div>

Megbo2012

Omg I have a 17" waist and it is so hard to find pants!!!!

daria24

In Response to Re:MOG threatening to not attend!:[QUOTE]Omg I have a 17quot; waist and it is so hard to find pants!!!! Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Who are you, Scarlett O'hara?

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:3a53d8ed-5cc1-41c8-803d-ef2e1a7b94be">Re:MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:MOG threatening to not attend!: Who are you, Scarlett O'hara?
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

<div>Better.</div>

kelsey+brandon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:be36c872-db42-4817-984a-d24bb5c0302c">Re:MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:MOG threatening to not attend! : Better.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]


Lies. There is no one better.

SarahAlRamadhan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:66847a4d-919e-41c5-89e1-a736966bdb7d">Re: MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]Omg I have a 17" waist and it is so hard to find pants!!!!
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

At least she doesn't have a fupa.

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:0c9ce77b-ff00-4f31-9bd4-0c3aa4a74971">Re:MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:MOG threatening to not attend! : Lies. There is no one better.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
<div>:)</div>

noisulli22

I don't post often but I figure hey maybe I can offer something to say too. You have 2 choices here, #1-you can pacify her by doing what she says forever or #2-you can let your FI tell her, her behavior is unacceptable you are going to be his wife and you will be respected and he needs to be firm. You can tell her whatever you want to tell her til you are blue in the face but its your FI mom's and he needs to tell her and be firm with her. She needs to hear the hurt and frustration from her son not you. Some people may disagree with me but I read Dear Abby and this is her advice too:-) Also, this seems to be the way of life for his side of the family so before you tell your FMIL where she can put her toothpaste think about it, this is how they have been living long before you were born so it will be an extremely hard habbit to break but FMIL does need boundaries because yall might have kids one day and FMIL doesn't want to miss out. Have FI talk to his mom and try to focus on the wedding and life after the wedding. By the way she sent that text to you to get you upset don't respond to her. Let your FI handle his mom because I'm quite sure he is very upset too.

Nshivers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:a95b4e3c-43f2-4005-b73c-f82864687232">Re: MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOG threatening to not attend! : Concur and agree
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]


Me too!

Jessimb0587

This whole situation with her is ridiculous. I don't understand why people try to control something that's not their's to control. It is NONE of her business what you chose to wear at YOUR wedding. I saw your post the other day with pictures of your dress and it is gorgeous. I don't understand how they think your dress is inappropriate. Do they want you to wear a potato sack?

I'm just sorry that you have to deal with this...

tania0930

There was no way I was going to read that entire thing, however I think I get the gist.  FMIL wants you to wear what she wants you to wear?  We are discussing YOUR wedding, correct?  A thing that happens only ONCE in your lifetime (hopefully)?  It's time for big girl panties, tell her no!

Danidawn20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_mog-threatening-to-not-attend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:10ba3fd8-f89c-48a4-b943-37c39e314a01Post:04bfc429-4230-4d3a-88e9-a494e0ca4a38">Re: MOG threatening to not attend!</a>:
[QUOTE]There was no way I was going to read that entire thing, however I think I get the gist.  FMIL wants you to wear what she wants you to wear?  We are discussing YOUR wedding, correct?  A thing that happens only ONCE in your lifetime (hopefully)?  It's time for big girl panties, tell her no!
Posted by tania0930[/QUOTE]

<div>Thread jack...I love your shoes</div>