Fears?!?!

Kfudge0714

FI and I DO NOT like being the center of attention. And of course on your wedding day all eyes are on you... I get all nervous starting getting all clammy and my face even gets bright red!! I'm so nervous that I am going to trip and fall or FI and I will look awkward during out first dance.....

This is my wedding day fear and I think about it everyday!

anyone else what to share their wedding day fears?

AlliJae

I am right there with you. I do not like being the center of attention. But I am hoping I will just be so happy and caught up in the moment I won't be thinking about much else!

My biggest fear is that something important will be forgotten....like we will forget to set something up or forget the rings?! Ah! But I think with a good checklist we will be okay. And I keep reminding myself that no wedding is 100% flawless!

Kfudge0714

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:15da0452-b011-4a35-a0e7-4236d1f145aa">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am right there with you. I do not like being the center of attention. But I am hoping I will just be so happy and caught up in the moment I won't be thinking about much else! :) My biggest fear is that something important will be forgotten....like we will forget to set something up <strong>or forget the rings?!</strong> Ah! But I think with a good checklist we will be okay. And I keep reminding myself that no wedding is 100% flawless!
Posted by AlliJae[/QUOTE]

My aunt got married in October and they forgot the rings! Luckily her house was only 10 minutes (not even) from the ceremony site!

Megbo2012

My house is across the street so I'm not worried about forgetting anything.  I'm worried that it will rain or there will be a problem like the vendor doesn't show up, or something gets messed up. But I'm not all that worried.  No use worrying about things out of my control.  

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:15da0452-b011-4a35-a0e7-4236d1f145aa">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I am right there with you. I do not like being the center of attention. But I am hoping I will just be so happy and caught up in the moment I won't be thinking about much else! :)</strong> My biggest fear is that something important will be forgotten....like we will forget to set something up or forget the rings?! Ah! But I think with a good checklist we will be okay. And I keep reminding myself that no wedding is 100% flawless!
Posted by AlliJae[/QUOTE]

agree 100%!

daria24

My biggest fear (other than rain) is that FI will see me for the first time...and be disappointed. I had a male coworker who admitted that when he first saw his bride his first thought was "is that a f-ing tiara?!". Granted they got divorced three years later and I'm not wearing a tiara but still. I think we all imagine our FI crying or his face lighting up. I'm also afraid it will be boring because our guests list is heavily skewed to the 60 & older crowd because our families are older and we don't have a large group of friends.

DrPB2b13

Mine is similar to yours,Katie!  The thought of our first dance scares me; I don't want to look like idiots dancing up there, but neither of us are very good dancers and taking classes isn't in our budget, either financial or time!  And EVERYONE is going to be staring, and that whole thing takes like, 3-4 minutes, and...oy!  The thought makes me want to skip it, but when I think about actually dancing with FI I get teary and sentimental.  Plus, I really want a father-daughter dance, which would be weird if I didn't have a dance with FI at all....ugh,I don't know!

Kfudge0714

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:258d7697-4f93-411c-92cc-f6997968bc9b">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>My biggest fear (other than rain) is that FI will see me for the first time...and be disappointed</strong>. I had a male coworker who admitted that when he first saw his bride his first thought was "is that a f-ing tiara?!". Granted they got divorced three years later and I'm not wearing a tiara but still. I think we all imagine our FI crying or his face lighting up. <strong>I'm also afraid it will be boring because our guests list is heavily skewed to the 60 & older crowd because our families are older and we don't have a large group of friends.
</strong>Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

ok that first part is incredibly sad =(  and don't worry I'm sure he won't have a bad reaction!! Your going to be beautiful!

and I am afraid of that too!! My guest list is on the older side too... I'm hoping that my dance floor will be packed all night.. fingers crossed!

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:258d7697-4f93-411c-92cc-f6997968bc9b">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]My biggest fear (other than rain) is that FI will see me for the first time...and be disappointed. I had a male coworker who admitted that when he first saw his bride <strong>his first thought was "is that a f-ing tiara?!"</strong>. Granted they got divorced three years later and I'm not wearing a tiara but still. I think we all imagine our FI crying or his face lighting up.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

I feel like, if the first thought a guy has when looking at his about-to-be wife is a criticism of her hairpiece, then maybe the wedding isn't such a great idea...and obviously, for them, it kind of wasn't!

KrisKenny

My BM's brother forgot her rings when she got married.

I got another one for you...This is my second wedding (and FI's also).
   So, during the ceremony for my first wedding, my pastor (no longer there) is announcing our names and instead of mine, she says my mother's name. OMG - did my mother yell out "Nope! It's not me, I'm not getting married, again!" It was kind of funny but shocking that she said the wrong name.

After that, I'm really not scared that anything will go too wrong. And, if something does, most likely no one will even know. Or if they do, they will chuckle about it.

kelsey+brandon

I'm nervous about being in front of all those people during our ceremony. I'm really hoping that I can just focus on FI and block everyone out. I'm sure I'll be able to once I'm at the alter with FI, but getting down the aisle to him is another story.

sleblanc72

What Meg said, those are my biggest fears that something major goes wrong and I can't control it.  But I'm also learning to try and let it go since they are things I can't control!

bchbride062012

My FI and I are both not center of attention people so the whole concept of this has had me want to elope like 4 times now but I just remember my Mom would kill me if I did. I know if I can get thru the ceremony the reception will be a blast. My planner has explained the rain plan so that's ok. Frankly, I am more worried that everyone hates the food since I am such a foodie my friends expect a fabulous dinner.

I will probably have a little champagne while getting dressed to help chill me out. But have my MOH be the responsible person since she's not much of a drinker to regulate that so I don't get too much.

littleluckypenny

My biggest fear (aside from being the center of attention), is that people will judge my wedding.  I love my invitations, my dress, the menu and cake, favors, everything.  I keep thinking people, mostly my family, will think it's all boring, because they consider me a pretty boring person already. 

They are pretty huge risk-takers in terms of fashion and style, and I fear I won't live up to their standards.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what FI and I are putting together, and we are both excited to see it all unfold, but I just have that nagging at the back of my thoughts.  "Her dress is so plain."  "What kind of food is this?!"  "Why is the centerpiece so small?"  "Those flowers look like crap."  "This DJ sucks." 

My other fear is that my FI will have an anxiety/panic attack (not kidding).  He absolutely hates being in the spotlight, even if it was only family.  He already has stated he will have to have a shot of alcohol for his nerves.  I believe him.  He would be nervous whether it was 10 guests or 200.

Another fear is that people won't mingle and it's gonna look pre-civil rights movement (I'm black and FI is white; neither families have done this before).

kelsey+brandon

And it's a good thing I'm not a groom because I would totally think that about a tiara. Unless you're royalty or marrying into it, you shouldn't wear a tiara. That's taking the whole "pretty pretty princess day" to a whole new level.

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:38f69615-5d60-44ee-b110-9b136e18a640">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]And it's a good thing I'm not a groom because I would totally think that about a tiara. Unless you're royalty or marrying into it, you shouldn't wear a tiara. That's taking the whole "pretty pretty princess day" to a whole new level.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I agree. :)

midgetthemighty

I'm afraid that too many univited people from church are going to show up.

I love them all, and I honestly wish we had the space for them but we don't. My family is too big. We're already overflowing the ceremony space as it is.

Just so we're clear, this is a 110% legitimate fear. It could seriously happen and actually has happened to another person in the church even less involved than my family is. My grandma is the secretary, my dad/brother are the custodians, my brother runs sound for the second service, I run slides for the second service and coordinate the volunteers for the first service slides, mom and I are in choir, I play in the church orchestra, my brother and I have been going there for as long as I can remember, parents shortly after. That's just a taste.

daria24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:38f69615-5d60-44ee-b110-9b136e18a640">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]And it's a good thing I'm not a groom because I would totally think that about a tiara. Unless you're royalty or marrying into it, you shouldn't wear a tiara. That's taking the whole "pretty pretty princess day" to a whole new level.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]



I agree. I'm also just hyper-critical so if I were a groom I'd probably think "is that side boob? Is that a chip in her nails? Why is she wearing that much makeup she looks like a drag queen!". Of course my FI is a typical guy so thankfully he doesn't notice all the details usually. But he would notice a tiara ;) and to be safe I'm not wearing any headpieces at all.

diamondx423

Luckypenny, the way you worded your fears made me giggle. I hope your families mix

My fear is really the judging thing. We're putting so much money and effort into one day I really want it to be nothing short of amazing. I know I've walked out of weddings saying "the DJ sucked" "that was boring" and I don't want that to happen to me.

Amynutrition

My fear is that a political fight will break out during the reception. FI's parents talk about politics all-the-time and my parents and their friends do the same... but they are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. And it's an election year.

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:38f69615-5d60-44ee-b110-9b136e18a640">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>And it's a good thing I'm not a groom because I would totally think that about a tiara.</strong> Unless you're royalty or marrying into it, you shouldn't wear a tiara. That's taking the whole "pretty pretty princess day" to a whole new level.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

This is why I'm totally open with FI about everything I'm wearing.  If he goes, "Ehhh..." I won't bother.  He hasn't seen pictures of the dress, but I HAVE described it to him in minor detail, so he's not totally shocked when we do our first look.  I can't imagine having that go wrong (as far as his reactions to me), I feel like it would sour the whole day.

DrPB2b13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:a9bbdcc1-5357-4d7e-8285-5107ebbadc41">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Another fear is that people won't mingle and it's gonna look pre-civil rights movement</strong> (I'm black and FI is white; neither families have done this before).
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

T&Ps that this won't happen for you!  I can't imagine the anxiety that would cause me, but then again my mother isn't very sensitive with her words, so she'd be the one causing all the trouble....and will be regardless.

There's another one from me, that my mother will run rampant at my wedding and FI's entire family will wonder where the h*ll I came from and if I've been putting on faces all this time...

midgetthemighty

Umm..my sig is gone.

ETA - It's back and now I look like a crazy person.

chelseakopperud

I am also fearing being the center of attention.... expeciially the walk up the aisle. My mom is the same way and she said that it was like no one was there on her wedding day. I am hoping thats is how I feel!

daria24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:25c53331-4a30-48a4-88cf-5108a90b0357">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]My fear is that a political fight will break out during the reception. FI's parents talk about politics all-the-time and my parents and their friends do the same... but they are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. And it's an election year.
Posted by Amynutrition[/QUOTE]



Oh god I forgot about that fear! FI family are all hardcore democrats-they work on many local campaigns, etc. And my aunt is the sister of a very prominent Republican in this years elections and she campaigns for her brother and FI family thinks he's one of the worst political figures.

Now I'm not so worried about FI's reaction :)

Sarah0335

I have fears about my family judging the wedding as being cheap.  The last wedding in my family was 400+ people and very extravagant.  The rehersal dinner budget was probably arounr $100,000 and my entire wedding is around $20,000.  I know I shouldn't care what they think, but I do.

I am also worried about getting cold feet.  I am the type to freak out last minute and question my decision.  I have been living with FI for years and we have a house together.  This freak out would be completely irrational because honestly for us the wedding won't change too much.  I will probably have a mimosa (or 10) while getting ready.  I already have 6 bottles of champagne ready to bring down with me for while we are getting ready. : )

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:59642380-8292-4805-a84a-cd6d9e36b5f2">Re: Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have fears about my family judging the wedding as being cheap.  The last wedding in my family was 400+ people and very extravagant.  <strong>The rehersal dinner budget was probably arounr $100,000</strong> and my entire wedding is around $20,000.  I know I shouldn't care what they think, but I do. I am also worried about getting cold feet.  I am the type to freak out last minute and question my decision.  I have been living with FI for years and we have a house together.  This freak out would be completely irrational because honestly for us the wedding won't change too much.  I will probably have a mimosa (or 10) while getting ready.  I already have 6 bottles of champagne ready to bring down with me for while we are getting ready. : )
Posted by Sarah0335[/QUOTE]

My jaw dropped when I read that and literally has not gone back to where it belongs yet.

sleblanc72

Holy crap Sarah...I can't even fathom what that would buy for a REHERSAL DINNER!!!

You're not crazy Midge, I've noticed siggy's dissappearing and reappearing all over the place.

daria24

Omg I thought that said 10k not 100k! Which even 10k is extreme but now I want to know how they managed to spend 100k on an RD!

Jessica632011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_fears?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:12dd986e-aa35-4e4f-8009-58664f85a58aPost:72883183-8caf-4d6e-8710-df6717337b44">Fears?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I DO NOT like being the center of attention. And of course on your wedding day all eyes are on you... I get all nervous starting getting all clammy and my face even gets bright red!! I'm so nervous that I am going to trip and fall or FI and I will look awkward during out first dance..... This is my wedding day fear and I think about it everyday! anyone else what to share their wedding day fears?
Posted by Kfudge0714[/QUOTE]

<div>I feel the exact same way!</div>

jaime10285

I also hate being center of attention but I have a feeling I won't even notice everyone else when I'm looking at FI and saying vows or dancing.  Plus, I know everyone there loves us and is excited for us so they aren't trying to be judgemental or anything.

My DJ is the only vendor I'm a little worried about.  I'm sure he's fine but it seemed harder to pick a DJ than anyone else.  They don't really have "sample" work the way other vendors do.

Besides rain, I am afraid FI's reaction won't be "big enough" for our first look.  I honestly hope I take his breath away and he has nothing to say.  If he just says "you look nice" I think I'll feel sad.