Washington-Seattle

My Vows...WDYT?

So I would like some constructive criticism. Is there something that should be changed, taken out? Does it flow right? Let me know and TIA!

When we first met, we became instant friends. We just...clicked!
When we started dating, it was us against the world.
We didn't care what anyone thought of us.
Back then, we had no idea that our lives would end up like this.
But even then, I knew you were special.
Today, I am pledging my life and all of my love to you.
I promise to encourage you, to inspire you,
to laugh with you, and to cry with you.
I promise to be there when you need me,
to fill your days with happiness and excitement.
I promise to love you when life seems easy and when it's hard,
when our love is simple, and when it can be an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in the highest regard.
I promise to help you reach your goals and to be your best friend.
And, most of all, I promise to love you, for all of my life, with all of my heart.
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Re: My Vows...WDYT?

  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think they're really touching.  I like how you have a little historical information about becoming a couple, and that you make actual vows, as well.  Nice job!
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you!
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  • edited December 2011
    so as soon as I opened the post the hawaiian version of somewhere over the rainbow started playing on Pandora. it was quite touching...

    one area that i think could use a different wording is when you say that you will love him when love is easy and when it is an effort.  The when it is an effort is a little awkward. you can simplify it to 'when it is not' i can't think os something anymore creative right now.
  • edited December 2011
    I think you are right, Kahalagurl. Thanks for the suggestion!
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  • edited December 2011
    I like it. 
    on the effort line...maybe:
    when our love is simple and when it takes effort
    Amanda & Joel
    10.10.10
    Planning bio: updated 05.11.10
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    RSVP Date: Sept 10, 2010
  • edited December 2011
    Oooh I like that, ahuette! Thanks!
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree on the love thing but you have love in their twice- in the middle section and then again at the end and I think that takes away from the power of the last line. I would maybe save the love stuff for then.

    here are some suggestions for the first part:

    When we first met, we were instant friends; we clicked!
    When we began dating, it was the two of us taking on the world.
    What did it matter what anyone thought?
    Back then, we had no idea how our lives would end up.
    But even then, I knew you were special,
    that the two of us together, was something special.
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