Help

harris&hudson

I'm having trouble with one of my bridesmaid. How do i eliminate her with out being the total bad person in this suitation, cause we've tried talking and its just not working out things and i believe that she is to selfish to be apart of my wedding.
Please Help me!!!

mgoss228

Your profile indicates that you still have over a year before your wedding, can you let the situation go for the time being? 

Your Bridesmaids probably haven't had to organize any Showers, your Bachelorette Party or buy the BM dresses.  If your relationship is really that bad, she'll probably step down before then. 

There is still lots of time for the situation to resolve itself, either with your relationship improving or her backing out of the WP.

meganhardan

I think we might need more info on how she is being a bad bridesmaid to give you good advice.

What I will say though, is it worth ruining a friendship?  That is probably what will happen if you ask her to step down.  I'm not saying that she doesn't deserve it, but I think you need to be prepared for the fall out. 

kristend72

I agree that you might need to share a little more information for us to help do a good job helping you. You don't say in what way things aren't working out. Being a year out, I doubt it's wedding stuff and assume it's more just regular friendship things.

Here's the deal: uninviting someone to be a bridesmaid is pretty much a certain friendship ender. Once in a while people will eventually both see what went wrong and reconcile but... you shouldn't bank on it.

But here's the rest of the deal: sometimes you're better off ending the friendship and something like a wedding can bring out the true nature of a relationship. If that is the case, and you've done the soul-searching, given her the benefit of the doubt (I was having a hard time with one of my friends being pretty nasty for a good part of the winter - but when she told me she was pretty sure she had SAD and was working on it, it helped us weather the storm and she's back to normal), and you've come to the conclusion that it's a toxic relationship, just let her down as easy as possible. Things aren't working out, neither one of you is adding to the other's life in a positive manner, etc. When people ask, resist the urge to badmouth her to assure them that you're not the bad person. Just come up with a nice line you use like the always useful, "We've just grown apart." Then change the subject to something completely different like, "These wings are great, though. Have you had better anywhere else?"